intramuralist ™ – Page 81 – A Respectful Dialogue of Current Events

02/21/2017

all good or all evil

You know the ones…

First… maybe my favorite…

He was an adventure-seeking youth…
… talented and professionally skilled.
At a young age, he was ready to leave home and lead others.
Granted, he grew up unaware of his origins, but his life changed forever, as he persevered through family tragedy.
He would then embark on an unprecedented journey. He underwent extensive training and mentoring.
He began to lead others well — a sensitive leader… unquestionably instrumental…
He also had a solid alliance. Granted, he had to battle many — and many of those came at a significant cost.
He continued, however, to persevere.
He did not shy from conflict nor temptation — and successfully overcame both.
His reputation soon became heroic.
Many even began to worship him, believing he would somehow save them. And perhaps, for some, he actually did.
He fought for the people… with the people… by the people.
He was one of us.

The second one…

He was notably different… darker, one might say… maybe a longshot.
He believe he was chosen — maybe the chosen one.
It was sometimes hard to see any heart.
In fact, some believed he was more machine than man…
… twisted and evil.
When his talents first became noticeable, he had to choose between leading for good — or leading for bad.
Power undoubtedly corrupted him.
He quit serving the people.
Thus, many were afraid of him — even those closest to him… if there was anyone close.
I would guess he had few friends. He did have children — in which we saw a glimpse of his heart — but the time was fleeting at best. He led most through intimidation and the instilling of fear.
He had no patience for opposing opinion or insubordination.
He had a distinct look to him, although his suit always seemed to augment his diminished strength and vitality.
For some reason, he seemed ever tormented inside… even if he faked it in his plethora of public interactions.

Maybe I’m wrong here, but my sense is we are so narrow in our view. We look at pundits and politicians, names and nominees — and feel justified in placing them firmly in solely one of the above two categories…

… as if one is all evil and one is all good.

But there’s a problem.

The above descriptions are fictional.

As described by “Wookiepedia: The Star Wars Wiki”, the above depicts Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader… yes, fictional characters.

Friends, we are omitting wisdom when we equate real life people and public personalities with fiction.

There is only one Luke — and only one Vader.

And neither one is real.

Respectfully…
AR

02/19/2017

the great political divide

I did a search recently on “the great political divide.” (And let me say for a mere tangent moment, it’s amazing all the things one can search for on Google…) But I was curious. What would arise?

The results were many, with first headlines as follows…

“In America Today, What Is The Real Political Divide?”
“The New Political Divide”
And “Three Ways Marketers Can Bridge Today’s Great Political Divide”

The following comments from those articles were also insightful…

“A recent PEW Research study found that half of Democrats and half of Republicans actually fear the other party…”
“For years now a majority of Americans have realized that neither of the so-called major political parties represents them.”

And perhaps the one that struck me most this day, from Lindsey Lorel, a senior ad agency strategist in Advertising Age, written three weeks ago…

“… This past election has shown us that America is struggling to find that common ground. At its worst, we’ve witnessed acts of hate. And at its most civil, we’ve seen carefully constructed judgments posted to the echoing walls of Facebook users. The nation is more divided than ever, but as any brand strategist can tell you, for every tension there’s a counter tension. The counter to division is unity, and I believe that in the coming four years, we will see a surge in brands that tell stories of togetherness…”

Friends, please pause before going forward. I have no desire to focus on all the things another person and party is doing wrong; my desire is to focus on those stories of togetherness. But right now, there’s too much finger pointing… too much “look at him” — “look what he/she is doing wrong!”…

That’s it. There’s too much focus on someone else; there is lesser focus on self or what “I” may or may not be doing wrong.

Hence, the great divide isn’t between male and female, Democrats and Republicans, or Trump supporters and Never Trumpers…

Look instead at the plethora of good thinking, wise people, who used to know it wasn’t polite, ok, respectful, or discussion-building to scream, point fingers, and tell or think of everyone else in regard to how wrong they are — those who are falling prey to ending conversation and relationships if another doesn’t feel/think/believe like them. We are falling prey to those who wish to divide. We are choosing ideology and issue over all else. We are damaging relationship.

The great political divide, therefore, isn’t between all those listed above; the great divide is within ourselves. Will we or will we not succumb to the idea that ideology is more important than relationship?

Too many groups and social media gatherings are encouraging division. And too many of us are willingly joining in… “I just can’t talk to a liberal any more… I don’t want anything to do with anyone who supports Pres. Trump.”

Yes, the divide is within ourselves.

One of the articles listed above is from an October article published on WPR.org after first broadcast on Wisconsin Public Radio. Per their site, “Wisconsin Public Radio and WPR.org welcome civil, on-topic comments and opinions that advance the discussion from all perspectives of an issue.”

Civil.
On-topic comments and opinions.
That advance the discussion.
From all perspectives.

Are we valuing all of that?

Or are we falling prey to something lesser?

Yes, the great political divide is within ourselves.

Respectfully…
AR

02/16/2017

what’s hard for one

Some things are too wonderful for me…

“Too wonderful” in the sense that as much as I try to wrap my brain around the why and the how, I still cannot offer a definitive, concrete answer…

… like how the hawk can soar, so smoothly and serenely in mid-air…
… how the leopard, lizard, or chameleon can creatively “change his spots,” so-to-speak, blending into indigenous areas…
… or how the tide rolls so swiftly in, the powerful but simultaneously delicate ebbs and flows of the ocean…

Yes, there are things too wonderful for us — things we do not totally have the answer to — and are incapable of fully describing or comprehending.

One of the things I wrestle with on a more daily basis that I have yet to totally have the answer to is why and how we continually project emotion onto other people — the why and the how in regard to our expectation that all people should somehow feel the same way about all things…

… and if they don’t, they are either wrong or something far less worthy or wise than “me.”

Allow me a brief example, if you will…

I have friends and family for whom specific holidays are hard (… truth is, there are specific days for me that are hard). For some, it’s Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukah, or a specific person’s birthday. This past week, it was Valentine’s Day.

For various reasons — some big, some small, but reasons specific to another person — those days are hard.

I keep wrestling with this idea of loving our neighbors well. And the more I ponder and submit to authorities more omniscient than I, the more I see how perhaps the most pragmatic means of loving our neighbor well is having compassion for others in what’s hard for them. Note that I said “them”… not for me, for someone else, nor anyone down the street.

Loving our neighbor well means being in the trenches with that neighbor, so-to-speak… walking beside them… getting into the down and the dirty… showing compassion — empathy as much as possible… and attempting to truly understand another… especially in what’s hard.

But there’s an added nugget of wisdom we tend to omit: what’s hard for them is not necessarily hard for another. And therefore, loving my neighbor well does not mean I must dismiss the legitimacy of how another responds… to the day, event, or something else.

Yes, with some in the trenches, I share tears of sadness; with others, I share tears of joy. If I am am only willing to share one set of tears, then I am only loving some neighbors well. Tears for one do not preclude tears for the other.

It thus makes little sense to me why we continue to project our emotions onto all others. What makes more sense — at least from seemingly, a perspective of wisdom — is as reasonably as possible, without sacrificing authenticity, empathetically being “all things to all people.” That means loving the one you’re with, albeit potentially through various sets of tears.   Sorry. I said this was hard.

Have you noticed the hawk soaring in mid-air lately? … how smoothly and serenely he soars?

Yes, some things are hard to totally wrap the brain around…

“Too wonderful”… yes, indeed.

Respectfully…
AR

02/14/2017

“me”

I’m tired of putting up with this!

I’m done!

I refuse to do this any longer!

No, I will not listen!

I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to going to take it any more!

With all due respect to Howard Beale — the fictional longtime anchor of the Union Broadcasting System’s UBS Evening News — and his infamous “mad as hell” movie quote from 1976, my sense is we’re hearing a lot these days of what many will no longer do…

… what they won’t do… what they refuse to do… and what they think everyone else should do, too…

I get it. There is a time to stand up, and a time to set boundaries; boundaries are healthy. And we each are entitled to discern when, where, and how to set those boundaries. The challenge is when we feel justified in setting everyone else’s boundaries, too.

Such is playing itself out within the social experiment still taking place on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. The vitriol… the digression of respectful conversation… it continues to seemingly only digress because we keep attempting to set another’s boundaries!

We confront people for what they say… How dare you? How could you even think like that? You must be stupid or ignorant or not a real whatever-you-claim-to-be?!

We confront people for what they do not say… I will assume by your silence that you don’t care… that you’re not bothered… and that you totally agree with everything I do not.

Or we’re profane.

Or we’re insulting.

Or… we justify that, too.

Geeeeeesh. We are a rough crowd.

Again, there exists a place to stand up and speak out. Let me not suggest that we are to be entirely diminutive, meek people. We are not.

But there’s one element of the current vitriol that keeps popping up to me. I can’t quite shake it.

Read through the 5 quotes listed above again… starting with “I’m tired”… “I’m done”… “I refuse”… “I will not”… and “I’m mad.”

Notice the subject of each of the above?

Me.

Yes, that’s right… me.

The question I can’t shake this day — and must first and foremost evaluate my own falling prey in the process — is how much of “me” is included in our rants? Let me say this again… I am just as guilty; it’s an easy trap for each of us to fall into. How much of our rants is about “me”?

How much of “me” being tired, “me” being done, “me” refusing, being mad, etc. is the motivation for my desire to decide what everyone else needs to do, too?

Sometimes I think if we each had more patience… each were more humble… each were more gracious… then our communication would be better, developing solution would be more probable, and our relationships would remain intact…

… especially on social media.

Respectfully…
AR

02/09/2017

still makin’ me want to shout

Perhaps no one has noticed, but respectful dialogue seems to be increasingly nearing endangered species status. We seem to continuously take turns — albeit not on the Intramuralist (thank God!) — justifying why respect is no longer necessary.

Respectful dialogue is this blog’s stated priority. Regardless of society’s rhetorical digression, we will adhere to a conversation abundant with respect. We will not ignore truth; but we will also not sacrifice grace in the process.

So I wondered… what do others say about respect?

“So much drama off and online…
Be kind and respect others.
Follow the golden rule. Always.
Don’t step on others.
Chase your dreams the right way.
Keep your head up.
Then, everything else will take care of itself.”
― K.J. Kilton

“Respect begins with this attitude: ‘I acknowledge that you are a creature of extreme worth. God has endowed you with certain abilities and emotions. Therefore I respect you as a person. I will not desecrate your worth by making critical remarks about your intellect, your judgment or your logic. I will seek to understand you and grant you the freedom to think differently from the way I think and to experience emotions that I may not experience.’ Respect means that you give the other person the freedom to be an individual.” ― Gary Chapman

“Many people have the confused idea that peace will happen when all the colors in the palette are the same. The actuality of peace is accepting each color’s differences and seeing the beauty each possesses.” ― Alaric Hutchinson

There’s more…

“Keep an eye on your responses. Strong responses are about you more than them.” ― Auliq Ice

“Men are respectable only as they respect.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

“In the end, those who demean others only disrespect themselves.” ― D.B. Harrop

And a couple more…

“To be respected, be respecting.” ― Himanshu Arora

“Respect is love in action.” ― Bangambiki Habyarimana

“The only true disability is the inability to accept and respect differences.” ― Tanya Masse

I heard a gentleman on one of the cable news networks this week discuss the current societal digression. He spoke specifically of the protest-laden, rhetorically-attacking, political climate; his evaluation was not one calling out solely the left, right, or anything in between. He was discussing the entire sad state of affairs and the current, clear inability to accept any ideological differences. There exists an incredibly prevalent “I’m-right-and-there’s-no-way-I-could-be-wrong-or-off-in-any-capacity” attitude. In other words, there is a concerning, existent lack of humility.

I then found myself sitting still, pondering more, and attempting to digest his stated perspective that “instead of talking with each other, we have started shouting at each other.”

Just for a moment, visualize a person shouting… ranting, raving.. and loud…

Can any other voice be heard?

Does anyone else feel respected?

Great question… really great question…

Respectfully…
AR

02/07/201702/07/2017

an ode to tom brady (and objectivity)

Let’s face it:
Growing up in Indy, it was kind of hard to like you.
Maybe it’s how Baltimore felt, when their Colts
— the team they had rooted for and relished for 30 years —
(… yes, 30 years…)
Sailed away on that Mayflower in the middle of the night.
One feels justifiably spurned.

In Indy it was all about Peyton…
Tom vs. Peyton.
So many years your Patriots were the hump we couldn’t get over…
The obstacle in our way…
The blocking of what we wanted most…
And I’m not sure that it was because you were
So evil or mean or some other severely negative connotation
(… or that Coach Belichick seems totally unable to smile).
But we couldn’t get what we most wanted,
If you got what you most wanted.

And so it felt disloyal, dishonorable, or dis-something
To root for you…
Or better yet…
To acknowledge how good and incredibly talented you are.

Granted, a few curve balls came our way…
I don’t really know what you did or what your role was
In some of that ambiguous, questionable activity.
Sometimes you seemed dishonest.
But the truth for me is best found in my first phrase:
“I don’t really know.”
My lack of knowing provided one more reason to dispute how gifted you are.

And then came Sunday night:
Super Bowl 51.
Down by a ton of points,
With the Falcons owner already on the sidelines
And champagne bottles moving into the Atlanta locker room,
You did the unthinkable…
You did what hadn’t been done all game long…
You led your team back,
Sending the first Super Bowl ever into OT,
And dramatically won the game.

As my son and I sat there on the couch,
Serious sports fans with eyes glued and jaws dropped,
We both thought the exact same thing:
“This is impressive. Brady is impressive.”

There I said it.
After all these years.
After all these years that my objectivity was skewed…
And I couldn’t see it.
I absolutely could not see it.

And it wasn’t because I’m stupid or ignorant
Or some other insult that my Patriot fan friends have graciously
Withheld from calling me
(at least publicly).
It was because I had other loyalties and reasoning that had gotten in the way —
That had blinded me from seeing any other perspective.

It doesn’t mean I was wrong about everything.
It doesn’t mean I now have to be a fan.
But it does mean that there are
Things I could not see.

I think about the amazing, past calendar year in sports…
Villanova over North Carolina…
LeBron over Stephen…
The Cubbies over the Indians…
And Clemson over Alabama during New Year’s…
All victories that went down to a dramatic, climactic wire…

But if I was so focused on my loyalties and loss,
I would miss the unprecedented contest that each was.
I would miss the objectivity.

Here’s to you, Tom Brady…
To your Patriots and New Englanders, too…
Well done.
You simply played incredibly.
Enjoy your well earned break…

May you bask in the joy of extraordinary accomplishment…
May you find gratitude and humility in the sweetness of success…
And know we look forward to seeing you again next year.

(P.S. Go Colts… Bengals and Packers, too…)

Respectfully…
AR

02/05/2017

two questions

As we witness the current unenviable, rhetorical climate, weathered with unfortunate ample disgust, distaste, and disrespect for seemingly any perspective other than one’s own, two questions continue to come back to me.

Let me warn you now: I won’t — and actually can’t — answer my own two questions.

But as I ponder the current climate — and ponder even more so how to be a part of the solution as opposed to the problem — or somehow, even fueling this problem — I keep coming back to these two Q’s.

Granted, in order to state this accurately, I probably need the voices around me to be quieter for a mere moment, so I can actually think on my own and vocalize my 17¢… if people will let us.

I do realize the need to peacefully stand up for what we believe in. And peaceful protest does include some shouting. What does it not include? Briefly?

… insult… profanity… judgment…

I admire protest. I do not admire insult, profanity, and judgment.

Let me share an additional truth… Rightly or wrongly, when anyone’s shouting at me, I can’t hear them.

Why? Because I can’t always tell if they care what I think. They have to be silent long enough to engage in some semblance of active listening and exchange. Without active listening, there will be no meaningful conversation. Without meaningful conversation, there will be no respect. And without respect, there will be no solution.

Nonetheless, I keep coming back to these two Q’s…

Two questions that plague me…

Two questions that if we answered truthfully, maybe solution would come a little quicker…

Maybe solution would even come.

One: how do we not equate our own experience with everyone else’s reality?

And two: how can we assume that just because a person doesn’t react as I do, they don’t care?

We sure make a lot of assumptions. Isn’t that the zillion dollar challenge?

We assume that if we experience something, it must be true for everyone— or at least true for most. We react a certain way, and if someone reacts completely differently — or maybe not at all — we make assumptions about their character, integrity, and morality. We sure assume a lot (… makes me think of that ole clique as to “assume” only sadly makes an “ass” out of “u” and “me”).

I pray not do that.

Again, however, as forewarned at the onset of this post, I cannot answer my own two questions.

I do think, though, that the pondering of the above would be wise for us all…

… a little more silence… a little more grace for the different… and far fewer assumptions of those we do not understand.

Respectfully… always…
AR

02/02/2017

which is worse?

As is no secret, the Intramuralist is saddened and concerned regarding the current societal climate. So much disrespect is being justified. So much unwillingness to listen is being encouraged. So much shouting, tension, blindness, meanness, etc. So much… dare I say, too much.

I’ve been asked at least three times in recent weeks, “AR, aren’t you concerned?”

Of course I am. I would only add that I’ve been concerned long before last November.

This week, no less, something struck me. It was one of those moments from a book or a text where I felt immediate cause to pause, as the written words extended way beyond the pages encasing their current context. It was similar to how I frequently felt, fumbling through the truths buried in Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird, A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini, and in When Character Was King by Peggy Noonan. There is truth in words — regardless of where they are found… in a book, a friend’s text, even on a postcard or placard…

The following words struck me this week, as I pondered the relevance to the frictional, non-fictional climate we now witness. Maybe this is relevant; maybe it’s not. But something within made me think… this whole idea that…

“… The idea that the whole human race is, in a sense, one thing — one huge organism, like a tree — must not be confused with the idea that individual differences do not matter or that real people, Tom and Nobby and Kate, are somehow less important than collective things like classes, races, and so forth.   Indeed the two ideas are opposites. Things which are parts of a single organism may be very different from one another; things which are not, may be very alike. Six pennies are quite separate and very alike; my nose and lungs are very different, but they are only alive at all because they are parts of my body and share its common life…

[Note: sharing common life…]

When you find yourself wanting to turn your children, or pupils, or even your neighbours, into people exactly like yourself, remember that God probably never meant them to be that. You and they are different organs, intended to do different things.   On the other hand, when you are tempted not to bother about someone else’s troubles because they are ‘no business of yours’, remember that though he is different from you, he is part of the same organism as you. If you forget that he belongs to the same organism as yourself, you will become an Individualist. If you forget that he is a different organ from you, if you want to suppress differences and make all people alike, you will become a Totalitarian…

I feel a strong desire to tell you — and I expect you feel a strong desire to tell me — which of these two errors is the worse. That is the devil getting at us. He always sends errors into the world in pairs — pairs of opposites. And he always encourages us to spend a lot of time thinking which is the worse. You see why, of course?

He relies on your extra dislike of the one error to draw you gradually into the opposite one. But do not let us be fooled. We have to keep our eyes on the goal and go straight through between both errors. We have no other concern than that with either of them.”

Friends, do we see this?

Can we see this?

“The devil is getting at us.” He is manipulating us into identifying solely one as “worse.”

We must remember we are part of the same “organism.” The goal is thus not to make all people think the same; the goal is also not to be so blinded that we think of the other as so much “worse” — evil, in fact. We need to find a way to talk and listen and learn from those who are different — not shut them down nor ignore their perspective.

For some reason, the wisdom of C.S. Lewis stood out to me this week. It also seemed profoundly relevant.

Respectfully…
AR

01/31/2017

immigration, compassion, & more…

I was a young twenty-something, working somewhere between 50-60 hours per week, in the early years of a career in Human Resources in the hospitality industry. Step one meant mastering the management trainee program, with extensive time spent in each department, familiarizing myself with both the function and people necessary to make things run efficiently.

One of the friends made during that time was a shy young breakfast cook, named “Pepe.” He actually had a longer, fun name to say — at least 10 syllables (!!) — but as he’d wink and smile at our attempts to say it properly, with a beautiful Mexican accent, we all agreed that “Pepe” worked just fine.

Pepe stood out to me. Truth is, he was one of the kindest, gentlest men I’ve ever met. He never took things for granted; he worked hard, was punctual, loyal, and always did what he said he would do; he was fully trusted and relied upon. He was also incredibly shy.

Pepe rarely spoke before being spoken to first. He listened well, but it took many weeks before he’d even look me in the eye. There was just a sweetness in that shyness that was both authentic and endearing.

Pepe had left the states for sometime in order to be with his family in Mexico. When he returned — and I deeply respect how hard this must have been for him — he came to me asking for a place to live. As a young professional, I really had little. But as a legal immigrant, Pepe had even less.   I had a one bedroom flat on the second floor of a woodworking business, on a median in the middle of the road (yes, you read that correctly). Pepe and I worked out an arrangement where for four months, he slept on my couch.

The situation was that Pepe’s wife was still in Mexico. He came back to the U.S. with an appropriate work visa, hoping to save enough money to return home and provide for his family. While Pepe worked full time as a breakfast cook at my hotel, he also worked full time at another hotel as a dinner cook. It was thus not unusual for Pepe to work a minimum of 16 hours per day. In other words, even though we agreed that he could fully use my flat and sleep on that humble sofa, I rarely saw him there. He worked harder and more than anyone I’ve ever known.

On a rare day, Pepe and I would have an evening off that overlapped. Those days were precious. While his broken English and my even-more-broken Spanish often prompted an immediate chuckle for the other, we communicated well. In fact, our favorite thing to do those nights was read together. Pepe, grateful for a mere roof over his head, bought me a paperback bible. The left side of each page was in English — the right, in Spanish. Together we read the Bible, attempting to connect at deeper, heartfelt, meaningful levels. It was one of the most fascinating, beautiful seasons of my life.

I always find myself troubled when the immigration debate heats up. Let’s face it; it has heated up on multiple occasions, but in the current climate of seemingly far too many who are ready to either (1) immediately pounce on the next perceived evil thing Pres. Trump does, or (2) immediately praise the next perceived wonderful thing Pres. Trump does, it’s very difficult to have reasonable dialogue, separating fact from fiction, and discerning where and where not to be concerned.

I admit: I am uncomfortable with the global rise in terrorism and the significant number of persons who wish to harm Americans and Christians simply because of who they are and what they believe. I would like to find reasonable, compassionate ways to ensure those persons — who truly are the ones most motivated by evil — have lesser access to succeed in such heinous activity.

But I also wish we would never allow our need to screen out the terrorist to extinguish our compassion for the refugee — our compassion for the tired, poor, and the “least of these.”

It helps me, therefore, to think of Pepe. Pepe reminds me of the compassion each of us should have for one another… and yet, we are so stingy with our mercy and grace. Maybe we withhold it from the refugee; maybe we withhold it from those who sincerely desire to keep out the terrorist. The challenge is that too often too many justify withholding it from someone.

I wonder where Pepe is now… how his wife and children are. I have no doubt they are somewhere, thriving… following their father’s example… full of that exceptional, endearing kindness… and reading wisdom on the couch together.

Respectfully…
AR

01/29/2017

“the extremist”

While I’m going out on a bit of a blogging limb here, my guess is that every enthusiastic, active blogger has about 37 different ideas they’re pondering in their head all at the same time. Some develop into immediate posts; others take weeks, months, even sometimes years to formulate into a semi-coherent opinion. (I think my current number stands at 38.)

Hence, for over a year, I’ve been pondering the following post. I’m still not quite finished in its formulation, but it seems there’s a deep truth here — a truth I stumbled upon with a long time friend many months ago. Together we questioned the state of society — the good, bad, ugly, and all that’s in between. It was a great time… so authentic, such a give-and-take with many angles to learn and digest from… excellent, varied perspective… with both of us seeking something better than what we too often witness.

We seek solution… peace… and a “win-win” (Covey Habit #4, by the way).

But in our conversation that fall, we soon stumbled upon a proverbial thorn — far more than a thorn, actually. We identified one aspect among us that is challenging. It always seems to be the one thing actively attempting to pierce any progress. It is an unmistakeable impediment to solution. We identified “the extremist” as a significant, societal problem.

The challenge today immediately evolves, no less, to who “the extremist” actually is…

Who is this?

Who is “the extremist”?

And therein lies the challenge.

The challenge is that without a doubt, “the extremist” exists on both the proverbial left and right. However, we tend to minimize the one who, while potentially “extreme,” shares our bottom line opinion; in other words, we are far more graceful to the likeminded — especially, since we like the way they vote — and don’t want to disrupt that.

And so for my friend and me, we found ourselves in search of a better question. Instead of “who actually is this,” we settled on the better question of what do these pejorative persons most have in common; what are the characteristics that identify “the extremist”?

In total transparency, we never settled on a complete, concise list. I think our conversation will continue. But the below is what we pondered then — and continue to ponder now. How relevant are the following 15 characteristics? Is this what we see too frequently in “the extremist”?

An unwillingness to listen
An unwillingness to admit any wrongdoing or wrongful thinking
An inability to communicate with unlike others
An inability to argue calmly
Anger
Arrogance and condescension
An attempt to instill fear in others
A lack of consistent logic
Scornful of compromise
A refusal to change
No admittance of hypocrisy
Utilization of stereotypes or entire people group designations
Provocation and derived pleasure from provocation
The end justifying the means
And complete blame of the “other” side

If we could find a way to effectively and respectfully wrestle with “the extremist” — even if he/she is among our own likeminded — then perhaps we could find more solution and peace… actually making it a win-win… and building those necessary bridges to so-called “other” sides.

Respectfully…
AR