I’ve thought about this for a while. Be gentle with me here. It’s not the easiest of subjects. But I think it makes sense.
I want to talk about lying. And not so much whether we do it or not. More so, why do we believe it in others?
Because the full-fledged reality is that we all believe some lies. Knowingly or not, we believe some things that we have no idea are untrue or whatever politically correct word we want to call it. Whether it be that Napoleon was short or gum stays in your stomach for 7 years or eating carrots will significantly help your vision, we all believe some set of lies.
I think back to the biggest lies I’ve ever believed. One comes to mind immediately… and I want to be extremely careful and respectful here, as forgiveness has been sincerely requested and given, amends have been made, and sweet, redemptive healing conversation has necessarily occurred.
I had a friend once who, as a teenager, told me she was dying. Only a few months to live. She asked me to heartbreakingly share the news with her best friend. It was awful. One of the worst days of my life.
The only problem was, she was not. She was not dying, not scantly ill. Nothing was physically wrong. Who knows how many months she had yet to live. Even still.
Again, remember that I wish to be most respectful here; it’s both necessary and appropriate. My dear friend asked for forgiveness sometime later; it was genuinely requested and granted; and we both grew immensely from the experience. Love keeps no record of wrongs; therefore, no wise reason for me to keep record either.
But this many years later, relevant to our conversation here, I ask myself: why did I believe the lie?
Why did I believe what was said?
There was no evidence. No collaboration. Nothing that proved nor disproved the story shared.
So why did I believe it?
Why did I believe something that at a later point would prompt much confusion and even in this situation, devastating heartbreak?
There’s an easy, obvious reason, friends.
This is zero rocket science.
Why did I believe the black-and-white lie of another?
Because I wanted to.
I wanted to.
We hear so many lies now embedded in our public discourse. Egad. All generations see it; and so many generations — especially the youngest — want nothing to do with it. I get it. It’s difficult to comprehend… not so much that lies actually occur, but so many dressed up, seemingly intelligent people think it’s an appropriate way to proceed. So many think that lying is ok.
Not only that, but we all see the people who go after the lies of a singular person, but willfully ignore the lies of others. Again — not rocket science — we all know it. Some go after the lies of Trump. Some go after the lies of Biden. Some go after the lies of Bobbert, Harris or another. But the sad reality is that so many do it, and way too often, they ignore the fact-checkers and suggest that the lies of one are so much worse than the lies of the other.
Why?
Because it’s easier. We want to. It fits in our narrative if we can ignore the lies of only one. We can convince ourselves that the “lesser of two evils,” so-to-speak, no longer qualifies as evil.
Let me not suggest that there isn’t personal, valid reason to support one candidate over another; I am simply addressing our singular calling out of dishonesty. I crave integrity. And as one who wishes for all to pass the integrity test, I find myself sitting here, knowing that what we want is not enough; fitting into our desired narrative is not enough. It is inconsistent to suggest only one lies or one lies differently, especially when fact-checkers are rampant in reporting both.
For the record, Napoleon was closer to 5’7” — standard for the time, gum typically exits our digestive system in a max of 7 days, and while Vitamin A does help our eyesight, carrots contain zero Vitamin A.
Just trying to be consistent. It’s important, you know.
Respectfully…
AR