It began as a tribute to one woman. Anna Jarvis to be exact.
Before that — according to National Geographic — it started as an anti-war movement. The goal was to promote peace in wake of America’s Civil War and Europe’s Franco-Prussian War.
This year $38 billion is expected to be spent in celebration of the day (with the highest spending category being jewelry and the most popular gift category being flowers).
The white carnation is the official flower of the day. Said Jarvis 99 years ago, comparing the flower’s shape and life cycle to a mother’s love, “The carnation does not drop its petals, but hugs them to its heart as it dies, and so too, mothers hug their children to their hearts, their mother love never dying.”
The US, Canada, Australia, Denmark, Finland, Italy, Belgium, and Japan are all celebrating Mother’s Day today, with over 90 countries hosting a celebration at some time during the year.
Mother’s Day is a sweet day. It’s a day we honor the unconditional love, sacrifice and nurture from first most important woman in our lives. Said iconic actress Sophia Loren years ago, “When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.”
Here’s to the wonderful person who always had to think twice.
But let’s take a moment to acknowledge this another one of those countless life situations where not everyone experiences the same thing. For some this day is painful…
Perhaps they’ve been unable to have children.
Perhaps they have lost a son or a daughter.
Perhaps they have a broken relationship with their mom. Or with their child, too.
Make no mistake about it. This is hard.
One of the things I believe would make all of us wiser is learning to stop expecting everyone else to experience life the way we do.
Our stories are different. Our circumstances have not been the same. What comes easily for one person may be deeply painful for another. And often, the same day that brings joy to someone can bring grief, longing, regret or loneliness to someone else.
That reality does not make one experience more valid than another.
We are capable of holding two truths at the same time. Celebration and sorrow are not competitors. Joy for one person does not diminish the pain of another, and pain does not invalidate joy.
We can celebrate with someone else while quietly mourning ourselves. We can smile across the table while carrying an ache no one else can see. We can feel gratitude and grief, peace and hurt, fullness and absence — all at once. Sometimes within the very same moment.
Mother’s Day is beautiful for many. It is also difficult for many. Acknowledge that. Be sensitive to it. Extend grace where you can.
And perhaps that’s what days like this should remind us most: not everyone walks through them the same way.
So celebrate if today gives you reason to celebrate. Grieve if today brings grief. And if somehow you are carrying both at once, know that you are not alone in that either.
Happy Mother’s Day, friends… a special shout out to the moms who are dear to me…
Warmly…
AR