It’s true; when I love a good book, I love that good book; and I tend to read or reference it repeatedly. It’s why you may ever so often hear me mention “To Kill a Mockingbird,” “A Thousand Splendid Suns,” the Bible, “Sneetches,” or “When Character Was King.”
One book that has been clearly instrumental in my thinking is “Raising Kids for True Greatness” by Dr. Tim Kimmel. It’s about redefining what success looks like… for our kids… for us. When first read as a far more inexperienced parent (even though I daily find myself having so much more to learn!), I found Kimmel’s truths to be eye-opening…
… What are we raising our kids for? … to be rich? … wealthy? … marry well or get the best job? … how about getting the most “re-tweets” or “likes” in social media?
All are understandable ambitions, but let me be honest; I want something more for my kids. I want them to be great.
Not just successful, but great.
What we witnessed in Mother Teresa was greatness — same as in Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Anne Frank, and Billy Graham. It’s what stood out about teacher-turned-astronaut Christa McAuliffe and cancer-stricken, college basketball player Lauren Hill. It’s not about being famous; it’s about maximizing our gifts and utilizing our God-given potential with whom and how we spend our lives. That, my friends, is far more than success; that is greatness.
One of the concepts, no less, that stands out in how we instill in our kids the idea of pursuing actual greatness is how we view opportunity. Do I look at opportunity as finite and limited? … and there are only so many job opportunities and so many roster spots and so many scholarships available? And that means that if your kid wins any of the above, I can’t be genuinely happy for you. Why? Because there’s now one less for me.
Or… do I look at opportunity as divinely provided and thus infinite or limitless? In other words, each of us is wired completely differently. None of us have identical DNA. We have different gifts.
Think I’m wrong?
Spend an afternoon with my youngest son, Josh, a thriving teen born with Down syndrome. Josh scores a little lower than most on those old IQ tests. But test his emotional intelligence. You will quickly see that while I like to believe I’m a fairly empathetic individual, Josh’s empathy for the well-being of other people far surpasses mine. That’s not a criticism or any selling of self short; that’s an acknowledgement of the nothing less than unique, amazing, divine gifting of my youngest son.
The reason I raise this issue this day, is because all around us, there seems a flurry of activity. It’s the month of May! That means graduations, proms, and parties… sectionals, playoffs, and district finals… scholarships, awards, and all sorts of public acknowledgements surround us. There are a plethora of — shall we say — selfie kind of moments.
Wouldn’t it be great if we could each celebrate them all? The ones we’re involved in and the ones we’re not?
… as opposed to… sitting back, allowing any ounce of comparison to permeate our thinking, comparing one kid’s plight to another… as opposed to ever thinking, “That’s one less opportunity for me or my kid.”
The beauty in the recognition that opportunity is infinite is that it frees us up to genuinely celebrate and support one another. Perhaps my kid didn’t win that scholarship, but that means there’s a better fit for him elsewhere — a fit more in line with his unique, amazing gifting. My desire is to never look at the accomplishment of another and think of myself at the same time.
Ok, off ’til the weekend, friends. First, though, I plan on hanging out on social media for a bit. Some awesome kids are experiencing all sorts of monumental moments; they have multiple individual honors coming their way. I’m so excited for them.
Can’t wait to celebrate… each and every one.
Respectfully…
AR