intramuralist ™

[Note: this is part of our annual Guest Writer Series. Meet guest writer #8.]

What is truth? What comes to mind when you hear the word “truth”? 

Or what does it really mean when someone says: “I’m just living my truth.”?

In my quest to find an answer to this question of “what is truth,” I confess that it is actually the phrase “living my truth” that has prompted my pondering. What does that phrase even mean? There is just something rather unsettling to me about it. If I am “living my truth,” doesn’t that make the meaning of the word “truth” subjective? Hear me out.

The definition of the word “subjective” is based upon or influenced by personal feelings, tastes, or opinions. If every human being on the planet has “their own truth” and their own definition for the word “truth,” then it would stand to reason that the definition for the word “truth” has become subjective — thus leaving the definition of “truth” at the mercy and whim of whoever is defining it.

So, what does the dictionary have to say about truth? Webster’s defines truth as:

1. The quality or state of being true.

2. The property of being in accord with fact and reality.

The property of being in accord with fact or reality… what in the world does all of that mean? 

Being in accord could also be said as to be in agreement. In short, to be in accord with fact and reality is to be in agreement with fact and reality. Therefore, if truth carries the property of being in accord, or agreement, with fact and reality, then we have to conclude that to say we are “living our truth” is to say we are really, in all honesty, just doing, or believing, whatever we want without any of it being grounded in a firm foundation of fact and reality. 

For example, if truth is in accord with fact and reality, we are forced to be honest and say that women cannot be men and men cannot be women. This is one example of how current culture has become influenced by personal feelings. In this situation, truth is no longer in accord with fact and reality. Truth has become nothing more than our own opinion. This is one example of how fact and reality have been lost and our foundation is nothing more than shifting sand.

Good Ol’, reliable Webster has long since been a trusted friend of mine through the years as I have engaged in countless word studies. There is always something to be gleaned from the study of a word. However, there are times when another viewing angle needs to also be considered — which is why I took to the streets of my community and did some research of my own. I asked several different individuals the same question: what is truth? 

Here is a slice of the insight I gained.

“Truth means that if you did something bad you would tell somebody.”  ~ Rubie, Age 7

“Truth means that if you do something bad and someone asks you to tell the truth you tell them.”  ~ Maybrie, Age 9

“Truth to me means the opposite of lies.”  ~ Emma, age 10 and Alyssa, Age 17

“Truth to me is God. God is Truth. God is our foundation. So, that would have to make truth foundation.”  ~ Mayci, age 7

While each of these responses carry their own measure of depth, it is the insight shared by Mayci that struck to the very quick of my soul. 

Truth is foundation.  

Just let that sink in and settle in your weary bones. Let that resonate deep within your soul and, if this were true, wouldn’t that make truth the very thing on which we should build our lives? Truth is that firm foundation that when our emotions are on the brink of being out of control will stand. If truth is foundation, and God is our foundation, then it could do nothing more but stand to reason that God is truth. Sometimes we adults make things far more complicated when all we really need to do is have the simple faith of a child like Mayci and remember that truth is foundation.

Respectfully… 

LJS

[Note: this is part of our annual Guest Writer Series. Meet guest writer #7.]

I have thought a great deal on what we are and are not teaching in US History. Since I spent a lifetime educating both college and high school students I thought that perhaps it was time to educate the masses. In my classes, there were always facts/dates. I once asked when the War for Independence began and then made the case for 1622 when the Virginia House of Burgesses announced they were going to tax themselves and not the Parliament — made them think. My classes were filled with what students labeled “infomercials” — things to know but not be tested on.

So here are a ‘few’ questions I have asked including some “landmark” decisions which have had an impact on the lives of citizens almost from the beginning of what we know as the United States. I always include the Declaration of Independence; we read through the entire thing — analyzing/discussing/debating. Hoping the following spurs an interest in “googling” answers you may and may not know…

1. Do you know the reasons behind America’s intervention into Vietnam?
2. Why does the Speaker invite the President to address the nation in a Joint Session of Congress?
3. Why does the President “knock” on the closed House Chamber doors to be announced requesting permission to enter?
4. What is the reason behind the Presidential Records Act? What does it say?
5. What is the reason behind “impeachment”? (Go back to Colonial New York and the Royal Governor during the reign of Queen Anne.)
6. How are classified documents declassified?
7. Can a sitting president repeal any amendment? (In 2016, it was claimed that Secretary Clinton could.)
8. How does an amendment get added to the Constitution?
9. What are the reasons for the Bill of Rights? (BOR)
10. What are the Articles of Confederation? 
11. What is the National Archives?
12. When the British burned down the Library of Congress, who replaced the books lost?
13. When did John Adams and Thomas Jefferson die? 
14. When was the Secret Service created? 
15. What 2 West Point graduates, besties and roommates, rode from the west (i.e. California) to fight on opposite sides at Gettysburg?
16. How was Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address received?
17. What was the Trail of Tears?
18. What was the Nullification Act?
19. What stopped the slave trade in DC, and what year was the trade stopped?
20. Who was Medgar Evers?
21. What was the March in Selma about?
22. What is the National Institute of Health?
23. What are the first 5 freedoms covered by the First Amendment? Why were they included?
24. Why is one cabinet member not permitted to attend any State of the Union (SOTU) or a Joint Session of Congress?  
25. The Second Amendment has its roots in Colonial America; why was it added to the BOR?
26. Why were the Voting Rights Act of 1965 and Civil Rights Act of 1964 passed?
27. When did all male schools like Washington & Lee and The University of Virginia admit women? And our military academies?
28. When did women get the right to vote, and what president reluctantly signed it into law?
29. What was the Oregon Trail? 
30. The state laws in Louisiana are based on _______. Why?
31. Most western states’ laws are based on _______. Why?
32. The original 13 states and most of the states east of the Mississippi laws are based on _______. Why?
33. What is Juneteenth? 
34. What and when was the Tulsa Massacre?
35. What were the reasons behind Wounded Knee?
36. Why did the Southern States decide to leave the Union? (1860-1865)
37. What is The Gilded Age?
38. Why does industrialization come to the north over the south? 
39. What were the Lincoln-Douglass debates, and why was it a forgone conclusion that Douglass would win? 
40. What were the fireside chats? 
41. Why and when was NATO formed? What is the importance of Article 5?
42. What events led to America’s going to fight in The Great War?
43. Why was America reluctant to get involved in the upheavals in Europe and Japan in the 1940’s?
44. What was the root cause of the Spanish-American War?
45. What was the root cause(s) of the War with Mexico? 
46. What is the Monroe Doctrine? What is the Truman Doctrine?
47. Who were  Thomas Paine, John Marshall, Sandra-Day O’Connor and Thurgood Marshall, and why are they important?
48. What was Iran-Contra about, and why does the Reagan Administration side with them?
49. What was Desert Storm? 
50. What was the root cause of 9/11, and who was president on that day in 2001?
51. Who was John McCain?
52. What illness did JFK have, and how did he injure his back? 
53. Can you name the 5 declared wars America has fought? Who actually declares war?
54. What is a “police action”? (International)
55. What is a ‘banana republic” and where are they located? 
56. What was the Six-Day War?
57. What was the Suez Canal upheaval about? (1956)
58. What is the debt ceiling, and when did it become partisan? Why has it become such a big deal since WW1?
59. What was the Albany Congress? What were the Townshend Acts?
60. What is the actual “line of succession”?
61. What does the entire Declaration of Independence say? (DOI)
62. Why do the 13 colonies declare independence from Great Britain?
63. What does freedom of speech mean? 
64. What event turned George III from his earlier siding with the 13?
65. Who were the men who died at the Alamo? 
66. Why are the mascots of the following named as such: UVA-Cavaliers, Tennessee-Volunteers, and Texas-Longhorns?
67. Why does the UP (Upper Peninsula) belong to Michigan?
68. Why is Toledo in Ohio and not Michigan?
69. Who was Maya Angelou? Who is Toni Morrison? And what is each famous for writing?
70. Who is Toni Morrison, and what is she famous for writing? 
71. Who was Alex Haley, and why was his book “Roots” such a turning point in American and TV history in 1977?
72. How long did M*A*S*H last on TV, and why was it considered trailblazing? 
73. What was the impact when UTEP defeated the University of Kentucky for the NCAA 🏀 Championship in 1966?
74. Why are the following films believed to be game changers: “Glory,” “The Color Purple,” “Schindler’s List,” “Philadelphia,”’ “Brokeback Mountain,” and “The Godfather” (all 3 parts)?
75. Who was Francis Marion? 
76. Who was Sitting Bull? 
77. Who was Chief Joseph, and what is his famous quote? 
78. What does it take for a bill to become a law?
79. Why is the power of the purse in the hands of The House of Representatives? 
80. How many votes does it take to pass a bill in both Houses? 
81. What is “gerrymandering,” and what does it do? 
82. Should we continue to have the Electoral College or does it preserve the voting rights of small states?
83. How many total years can a president serve? (Think LBJ more than a single answer.) 
84. Who is the President Pro-Tempore of the Senate? (4th in line in succession) 
85. What is the line of presidential succession? And do you know who they are?
86. If you graduate from Harvard Law and want to move to Texas to practice law, can you and what hoops would you have to jump through?
87. If wars are and have been fought over land/power/hate, how many wars have been fought for love? 
88. What were the Salem Witch Trials really about? 
89. What is Arthur Miller’s classic “The Crucible’ set in Salem of the 1600s really about? 
90. What is McCarthyism (not Kevin), and what was the HUAC (aka the House Un-American Activities Committee)?
91. What was the New Deal? 
92. What are the qualifications for the SCOTUS and lesser courts? 
93. Does the Preamble to the Constitution include the word “God”?
94. What was the 3/5ths Compromise and the Great Compromise?
95. When was “under God” added to the Pledge of Allegiance and why?
96. What groundbreaking Broadway musical focused on civil rights/equal rights/Vietnam War while letting in the “sunshine”?
97. Who was Cesar Chavez, Gloria Steinem and the Chicago 7?
98. Who authorized the Clean Air and Water Act in the 1970’s?
99. Why do the Brits drive on the wrong side of the road? 

And…

100. Can you name the Commonwealth States? And why are they  Commonwealth States? 

Also, some landmark court cases to learn from (see www.Oyez.org to learn more about each case):

1. Chisholm v. Georgia (1793)
2. Marbury v. Madison (1803)
3. Martin v. Hunter’s Lessee (1816)
4. McCulloch v. Maryland (1819)
5. Gibbons v. Ogden (1824)
6. Jones v. VanZandt (1847)
7. Dred Scott v. Sanford (1857)
8. Schenectady v. United States (1917)
9. Korematsu v. US (1944)
10. Brown v. Board of Education of Topeka (1954)
11. Mapp v. Ohio (1961)
12. Gideon v. Wainwright (1963)
13. NYTimes v. Sullivan (1964) 
14. Miranda v. Arizona (1966)
15. Loving v. Virginia (1967)
16. Tinker v. Des Moines Independent Community School District (1969)
17. Roe v. Wade (1973; overturned in Dobbs v Jackson’s Women’s Health Organization in 2022)
18. US v. Nixon (1974)
19. Bush v. Gore (2000)
20. Moore v. Harper (2023) 

Always learning and asking questions…

Respectfully…

JBR

[Note: this is part of our annual Guest Writer Series. Meet guest writer #6.]

Oh, how the mighty have fallen….

Donald Trump is as likely to end up in jail as he is back in the White House.

The New England Patriots are no longer a playoff team.

And Bud Light is no longer the top selling beer in America.

How did this happen? Unless you’ve been sleeping under a rock for the past several months, back in April, someone at Anheuser-Busch made the decision to send commemorative cans of Bud Light to transgender influencer Dylan Mulvaney to mark “365 days of girlhood.” Dulvaney proceeded to put posts on social media in a dress drinking Bud Light and in a bubble bath dancing around with it. And the boycott was on.

To understand the significance of the boycott, realize that Bud Light has been the top selling beer in America for more than 20 years.

This has to be the dumbest brand marketing decision in the history of brand marketing, right down there with New Coke, but even that was not even close. What is the first rule of marketing? Know your target market. What was Bud Light’s target market? Men who enjoy sports and socializing. Frat boys and bubbas.

I can promise you this: other than those catering to gay and bisexual men, no fraternity in America wants any association with an image of boys who think they are girls drinking beer in dresses and bubble baths.

When I was in college, two men were caught in a compromising situation in one of the fraternities. Rightly or wrongly, there was zero interest in anyone rushing that fraternity for years to come.

And while I have less experience to speak on the subject, I think it is safe to assume a similar reaction from bubbas as frat boys.

I look forward to reading the Harvard Business Review case using this example to teach future MBAs the principles of marketing. But it may be years until it is socially acceptable to write about it.

I do not have any issue with Anheuser-Busch or any other beer maker marketing a brand to the LGBTQ+ community. Enjoy a Montucky Cold Snack with the rainbow on its annual pride can, as I have. In a blind taste test, most people cannot tell the difference between brands of beer anyhow. It is all about image. And Bud Light just royally screwed up its image.

Which begs the question, what in the world were they thinking? Bud Light’s (former) VP of Marketing, Alissa Heinerscheid, stressed the need to “evolve and elevate” the Bud Light brand away from the “fratty, kind of out of touch humor” brand of the younger generation.

You mean the target market that has made you the top selling beer in America for 20 years?

This should set off alarm bells demonstrating how pervasive political correctness has become in corporate America. Companies are now getting graded on their “ESG” scores (environment, social, and governance), and being viewed as socially in vogue was more important to Heinerscheid than protecting FIVE BILLION DOLLARS in annual sales of Bud Light. That she could be so blinded by political correctness that she put all of that at risk should make us all realize how prominent this has become in the minds of our corporate leaders, all else be damned.

Bud Light has put itself in an impossible position. The right thing to do would be to apologize to its customer base for being insensitive to their perspectives and for calling them “fratty” and “out of touch,” that it was in fact they who were “out of touch.” But such a move would almost certainly unleash a backlash from the LGBTQ+ community for not standing behind Mulvaney, implying that their partnership was a mistake, even though it clearly was. And so they do nothing, as if it did not happen, hoping it will go away.

It will not. This is not as simple as bringing back Coca-Cola Classic. At this point, no one wants them. If they are not going to renounce their action, they might as well just go full rainbow.

Let’s look at this from the perspective of the boycotters. It is no fun to be one who holds traditional values in America right now. Those pushing different agendas have successfully made it socially unacceptable to do so. So we smile quietly when our employers observe Pride Month, fearfully hoping no one calls us out for not celebrating with enough enthusiasm. When is Traditional Values Month? Where is the “God created them male and female” parade? They do not exist. Only one side gets to celebrate.

I am all for diversity, equity, and inclusion. All Americans should be. It is one of the founding principles of our country. “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men [and women] were created equal.” It does not help that one side of the spectrum has politicized the word “equity,” meaning vote for us, because the other side does not. We all should.

But those who do not flock to the other side, which appreciates their votes, even though their perspective should be flatly rejected.

As with so many things in today’s world, the right answer is in the middle, and there is no one in the middle.

But my affirmation of equity does not mean that I should have to embrace perversity. I have gay friends and family members whom I love dearly. I have no problem with the orientation, and I think gay couples should have the same legal rights as heterosexuals. I also believe that the behavior is a sin. We all sin, and I am no better than anyone else, so I try to treat everyone with respect. But believers are called not to accept sin in our lives, but to turn away from it.

In today’s world, we are told we must be tolerant of everyone except those who believe as I do. Those beliefs are forced beneath the surface to avoid the social conflict that would result. For years now, we have been forced to hold our tongue to get along. We dare not share what we really think for fear of being ostracized. Cancel culture is real. But every time we hold something back, or keep quiet when our employers, the stores we frequent, or our government spend resources celebrating only the other perspective, all of that emotion gets pent up inside.

Then along comes Bud Light. Their choice to associate with Dylan Mulvaney gives me a safe, quiet, anonymous way to vent all the emotion that has been building up inside for quite some time now. I can simply never buy a Bud Light ever again.

And I never will.

All perspectives should be valued. Including mine.

Respectfully…

CAZ

[Note: this is part of our annual Guest Writer Series. Meet guest writer #5.]

“Isn’t it strange that princes and kings

And clowns that caper in sawdust rings

And common folk like you and me

Are builders of eternity.

To each is given a bag of tools

A shapeless mass and a book of rules

And each must make, ere time is flown

A stumbling-block or a stepping-stone.”

— R.S.  Sharp

Many years ago, I was asked to speak at the Life Celebration for a long-time family friend, a man who was really a guide for many, including me, in this business of life. He was respected for his leadership as well as his servant heart. I concluded my remarks with this poem because it was a fitting statement to reflect how he had lived.

Now whenever I re-read it, I wonder if this poem isn’t more relevant to how we are living our life now, not just a statement about how one has lived it. In fact, maybe it should be part of a diploma or something we receive at the beginning of adulthood. Maybe the more fitting application might be to ask ourselves, “What are we/I building? Now, not someday?”

First, the “We,” meaning our home, our community, our country, our culture. Our media seems to be filled with what some would say, “Going to hell in a handbasket.” There seems to be more angst than amicability, more depression than decency, more shouting than solidarity, more panic than peace. So, we tend to wring our hands, separating the “I” from the “We.”

So instead of the “We,” should the “I” not look in the mirror? And ask, “What am I building?”  The poet says that each of us is given “a bag of tools, a shapeless mass, and a book of rules.” He does not say these are identical, but suggests that we are all equipped. The question seems to be “Okay, now what?” Do I evaluate them and their use in my life? Do I envy the equipment of others and thereby waste and neglect my own? Do I seriously ask what I am building, honestly asking myself if I am building a life of purpose and meaningfulness for myself as well as others? 

When I see a construction company at work, it is obviously a team of various skills committed to achieve a unified end. If both the “I” and the “We” recognized this teamwork, it would seem the result of such awareness would negate the handbasket and create stepping stones for both the “We” and the “I.”

Respectfully…

DWL

[Note: this is part of our annual Guest Writer Series. Meet guest writer #4.]

I’m honored to be asked to write for this blog as I have found it to be an open and curious place to meet others not always like myself. One of the things I appreciate most is the ability to pose questions that do not have a fast or definitive answer and so that is where I’m headed today. In the role I play in my “day job,” I’ve encountered a growing trend of what many call “anxiety.”

In technical terms anxiety is classified as both a trait and a state. A trait, a part of an individual’s personality that provides nuances to how one perceives and responds to events in their lives, i.e. “I am a nervous or anxious person.” A state, a temporary condition that will soon fade and return to equilibrium, i.e. “I am feeling nervous about this.”

Because of these two aspects of anxiety, it seems popular in culture to refer to someone as either being anxious or having anxiety. However, what I find in most people I speak to about this is that it is more likely something very common in all humans — which is a state of anticipation or rather an intolerance for uncertainty.

We now live in a world where most things can be learned or received rather quickly, and so we do not have as much of a need for the time that it takes for a feeling to amp up and then slowly return to baseline. In the brain studies have shown this takes about 20 minutes. I’m finding through scrolling through social media and in public forums most people consider their thoughts surrounding uncertainty or “what if’s” cause for concern that they might “have anxiety” as if it is a condition to be treated and extinguished rather than a trait and state to be considered. Once considered, one can decide which tools to use to help regulate the system back to baseline.

Sometimes the best tool to be used is to see if there are other feelings tied to what is being lumped into the word anxiety. Sometimes it is worry, avoidance, dread, or vulnerability, and even more often it can be excitement or anticipation. Sometimes I will have people move their body (bilateral stimulation, aka something that uses both sides of their body like walking, yoga, bike riding etc.) and they find that the anxiety dissipates. So sometimes anxiety can even be unused energy.

Another aspect that is often looped into anxiety is the concept of fear. Fear seems to be the catalyst towards many of a reactionary social media post or tweet. 

Fear is a negative, short lasting, high alert emotion in response to a perceived threat and like anxiety it can also be measured as a state or trait. (Brene Brown Atlas of the Heart 2022)

Experiencing fear is visceral and immediate in the body. Increased heart rate, dilation of the eyes, rapid breathing, and extremities tingling (from the blood rushing from your limbs to the body’s core). Many who describe fear believe that to be anxiety. Experiencing fear has great qualities for our survival. Many times these responses are what keep us alive and thriving! “Boy that river is running awfully swift, maybe we should cross elsewhere” — or “the milk doesn’t smell — right maybe I should pour it out.” Fear can help us in making us pause and consider rather than rushing in unaware. 

In both anxiety and fear it seems the best action we can take is to lean in with curiosity what it is we are actually feeling, then stay curious about “the why” behind “the what.” For instance, check my surroundings and ask: is anything around me that would cause me harm? Is this a visceral response to my physical environment? Is what I’m experiencing just mere uncertainty? Is it because this person, event, or choice is unfamiliar to me? Does this thing make me question something I had previously felt certain about? Is there something I can learn from this? How can this make me grow to be a better version of myself?

Just as with everything in the universe there is a sun and a shadow side. We have to remember how these gifts from our human body are meant to help and not hinder our growth and wellbeing. As long as we remember when their use is necessary and when their use is not, both fear and anxiety can serve us well and may not need the elimination or immediate extinction that popular culture demands. 

It is my hope in this post that the next time you feel something resembling something akin to anxiety or fear, you’ll stop to consider instead of race to erase.

Respectfully…

NHS

[Note: this is part of our annual Guest Writer Series. Meet guest writer #3.]

I’d like to think the most uninteresting thing about me is the color of my skin. At first glance, this is somewhat of a jarring statement, but nonetheless the truth. With that being said, I think the heritage I come from, which is reflected by the color of my skin, is one of the most interesting things about me. 

Isn’t that a funny paradox. 

Being an Indian-Dominican girl growing up in a predominantly white, suburban neighborhood is the sort of thing that makes you realize from a young age that you are totally different from everyone around you. Not only do you find yourself facing the age old struggle of accepting your individuality, realizing that not all the other kids think your hobbies and passions are the coolest things in the world (in my case, musical theatre and writing), but you also are faced with the realities that come with the stereotypes people place on you because of the pigment of your skin. Understanding yourself at 10 years old is already not an easy thing, but when everyone is expecting you to grow up to be Dr. Singh and all you want to do is direct Broadway shows, it doesn’t make matters much clearer. And maybe you’re not even expected to accomplish anything that grand at all, because your parents were not raised in this country and didn’t attend school here either, so what is to become of you?

As you get older and reach the age of college applications, which you do in fact plan to attend, there is a new problem to be faced: now everyone expects that you’re going to get into any college of your choosing because of the color of your skin. 

Solely because of that. 

You seriously would not believe the amount of times I got told I was only offered an interview from Columbia University because they are looking to “increase their diversity quota.” While in the end I may not have been accepted, I can assure you the reason for me being offered an interview was not because of any amount of melanin my skin may have. In high school, I made sure to be involved in a number of extra curricular activities and worked hard to obtain leadership positions within them. That is what drew an admissions officer to want to speak to me. I committed a lot of service within my community and had impressive letters of recommendations from more than a few of my teachers that I formed genuine connections with. Those are the qualities that got me an acceptance into my university. Now, this is not to brag, while I am extremely proud of all that I have accomplished. This is all to say that I believe the qualities I’ve listed about myself are far more interesting than my ability to “increase a diversity quota.” 

At the time, I used to think the whole “diversity quota” thing was an annoying joke adults would make when the topic of college applications came up at social gatherings. I would just politely laugh and brush it off. Now, I realize that they were actually right, but not in the way they thought they were. My ethnicity is not the sole reason I was accepted into college or have acquired any sort of opportunity for that matter. It is, however, extremely important that I am a woman of color in these settings. It is important because my lived experience as a woman of color and a first generation student contributes a necessary perspective to any institution or job or anything I may find myself part of. 

I am currently completing an internship on an editorial team for a book that is being written by a Broadway director and artistic director at Columbia (how full circle, right?). Another opportunity that provides an opportunity for the adults aforementioned to reduce my qualifications to my skin tone. I have never been more confident in the fact that I received a position solely based on my own merit, especially seeing as I provided no mention or insight as to my race or ethnicity before being chosen as a finalist for the internship. The comments unfortunately get to your head, especially at my young age, and sometimes you truly begin to believe that maybe the only interesting thing about you is that you contribute physical diversity. 

Being selected for this internship was the first time in my life I felt completely confident in my own talent and qualifications. 

I believe that it is so important that women of color understand how vital it is to believe in their own merit. Because it is true what they say, that institutions have diversity quotas to fulfill, but that is not the end all be all of a person’s qualifications. And when given the opportunity, it is important that as a woman of color I infuse my ideas and perspectives into my work, because they are interesting and deserve to be heard, which has nothing to do with my skin tone. It is because as someone who identifies with a foreign culture, I have so much to offer along with those around me. 

Because while my cultural background is quite intriguing, the pigment of my skin is not at all. 

Respectfully…

PS

[Note: this is part of our annual Guest Writer Series. Meet guest writer #2.]

There were two 18^th century revolutions that despite being close in time, were very different in the spirits they embodied.

In July 1776 in Philadelphia, the Second Continental Congress declared America liberated from the rule of King George III and Great Britain. The delegates adopted the Declaration of Independence which claimed the self-evident right of all people to live their lives and pursue happiness in any way they saw fit. After winning the revolutionary war in 1783, Americans were free to go about their business without being told what to do. This live-and-let-live attitude was built into the DNA of the fledgling country.

In July 1789 in Paris, French citizens stormed the Bastille in opposition to the rule of King Louis XVI due to frustration over economic and social inequality. The monarchy eventually fell and was succeeded by the violent Reign of Terror. The king was executed in 1793 via guillotine along with tens of thousands of others not supportive of the revolution. More bloodshed followed, as warring factions continued to fight for power. Instead of people free from being told what to do, the result was a struggle for who got to do the telling.

So here we are in July 2023. Does America today exude the spirit of the American Revolution or that of the French Revolution? In other words, are we Philadelphia or Paris?

The answer is obvious, is it not? We may not be in a revolution, but we certainly are in the midst of a culture war and neither side is simply seeking to live their own lives as they see fit.  One side of the political spectrum has embraced Marxist critical theory which invalidates opposing viewpoints, and on the other side the leading candidate for the presidential nomination has told his supporters that “I am your retribution.”

It’s fine to hold beliefs on social issues, even passionately so. What runs contrary to America’s founding is the desire to impose your beliefs on others who disagree with you.

It doesn’t seem that long ago when the mantra was it’s nobody’s business what goes on inside the privacy of your own bedroom. What the heck happened? Why is all the sex and gender stuff front and center? The push from many on the left has gone from wanting tolerance to wanting to be validated. The thing is, implying that people who disagree with you are bigots isn’t going to win many converts. And taking it a step further, efforts to shape kids’ sexual attitudes in schools, especially without parents’ knowledge or consent, will only invite a massive and vehement pushback.

Those on the right have witnessed the shift in the culture and the frequent “cancelling” of those expressing conservative opinions. Somewhere along the way, their tactics shifted from playing defense to going on offense. To take a recent example, some states have tried to make drag shows illegal anywhere children might be present. Such legislation puts the lie to the claim that lawmakers are even being tolerant. You can’t say on one hand Christian bakers shouldn’t be forced to bake a cake for a gay wedding and then on the other hand prevent people from engaging in free expression.

We cherish our rights to freedom of speech, religion, and conscience. It’s a given that we are not going to speak, believe, and think the same. Therefore, in order for any of us to have these rights, we all have to have these rights. We must seek to resolve our differences with pluralistic approaches where we can live and let live.

Of course, not all political issues allow for solutions where each of us can do our own thing. In those situations where the choice is between X and Y, we can still engage in debate with civility and respect. As the saying goes, you have two ears and only one mouth for a reason. Try listening to understand where the other person is coming from. Chances are you will learn something and just might change your mind.

Every four years we are told, “This is the most important election of our lifetimes!” To the extent that sentiment is true, it’s only because we perceive that the party in charge will get to tell the rest of us how to live our lives. If we returned to a live-and-let-live attitude about our public affairs, we could focus on electing the most qualified candidates instead of only considering those who share our perspective on cultural issues.

Can we please return to Philadelphia?

Respectfully…

PJM

Yes, I know that is quite a title, and no, I did not make it up. I originally heard that analogy from my colleague MJ several years ago when complaining about poor behavior displayed by someone we both interact with at speaking conferences. The actions I unfortunately witnessed were misogynistic, rude, critical, and full of hubris. I had never been impressed by the dude’s character traits, and even less so with those who defend his disappointing behavior with the phrase, “that’s just Charlie.” I had heard it countless times over the years… “That’s just Charlie” and “You know Charlie. That’s just how he is,” as though I should pipe down, ignore it, and turn the proverbial blind eye.

It wasn’t just me. Many people were aware and disgusted by it. Even Charlie himself knew his behavior was questionable, to which he outwardly touted, “I’m on the spectrum,” or “I was just teasing.” But… was he? When overtly flirting with a striking, married woman, the also-married Charlie was anything but Aspergerish. Clearly, he had flirting down pat. Additionally, he was serious about his craft, and on stage, he spoke with ease. It would seem, by all appearances, that Charlie did not have special needs, but rather, acted on the belief that his needs were special. He used those excuses as an out, which was repeatedly bestowed on him by the disclaimer ,“that’s just Charlie,” (often by his mostly-male cohorts).

It was during that frustrated rant to my highly respectable colleague MJ that he expertly introduced the unpalatable phrase, “that’s just Adolf.” It took me aback at first. What a horrible descriptor! Then the meaning hit me. Wow, I thought to myself. Exactly! That’s exactly what this is! How is it that Charlie’s behavior has gone on so long, and has been excused by so many, that he was a one-man wrecking ball without anyone confronting the man in order to stop him? Or perhaps someone had tried to deter him along the way, maybe multiple people had, but the evidence of change was negligible, so the Charlie in the china shop kept breaking everyone around him. All of this led me to wonder how does someone become a Charlie, and what do we do about them?

If you live long enough, you will encounter your own Charlies in the world. Some of us work with them, some were raised by them, some unknowingly befriend or marry them, and some of us are governed by them. We see this every day in our culture. How did we get there, and more importantly, what do we do about it?

Everyone has an opinion these days, so be careful what you ask. (I am often more curious than careful.) I’ve heard some folks say to do nothing at all. You’ve probably heard the saying that having high expectations for others leads to inevitable disappointment. I get that. I have often expected way too much from people, often unfairly so, and the relationship has suffered for it.  There is something to graciously accepting people with all their warts, acknowledging “that’s just how they are,” and moving on. I am also grateful to have been the beneficiary of that grace on numerous occasions.

Yet, when the pattern of behavior is negative in the extreme, isn’t it appropriate to curb the destructive pattern of unsavory character and stop it in its tracks before anyone gets seriously hurt? If we were each an island unto ourselves that wouldn’t be necessary, but when we interact with others there are consequences to these actions, sometimes irreparable ones. When is it time to preemptively mitigate the damages caused by a lack of self-awareness in order to deter sentient tornados who leave human debris in their path? These days it seems that everyone is easily angered, yet paralyzed to act. Rage itself accomplishes nothing. But as the great orator J. Allen Petersen wrote, “Our actions may speak louder than words, but it is our RE-ACTIONS that speak loudest of all.” So what do we do? What should our reaction be?

I don’t have all the answers, but I do know this. I believe Edmund Burke who famously said, “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.” I’m not accusing Charlie of being inherently evil. Only God can judge that. However, his actions cause pain, as do the phlegmatic “friends” who idly stand by and supply his absolution. The Putins, Madoffs, Epsteins, and yes, even Hitlers of the world are just a few examples of out-of-control egos who thrive on the fuel of indifference by those who see their abhorrent behavior, do nothing about it, and then wonder why the world has gone crazy. Those men did not wake up one morning as monsters, but rather, went to bed night after night undeterred, enabled, and unthinkably, even encouraged to play out their sick games on humanity. So clearly, doing nothing is not a solution. Looking the other direction, or placating evil is only adding fuel to the fire. In the end, our actions and re-actions are a game plan every man, woman and child can get on board with.

I challenge us all to be vigilant in the world so far as we are able. Employ the Golden Rule to treat others as we would wish to be treated. Vote in every election. Be the template for kindness and gratitude. Call others out when appropriate, and put your money where your mouth is. Sometimes that is all we can control.  Dealing with evil begins with our own behavior and self-awareness. Accountability is the key to staying in check, being able to humbly receive feedback with a vulnerable spirit. Erect healthy boundaries with destructive people who have had a lifetime to improve their behavior but have chosen not to. When we do so, we can more easily identify the path to a better human existence for our families, businesses, communities, and the world at large. Don’t lose heart. Stay strong and do not tire of doing good.

The Charlies of the world need us now more than ever.

Respectfully… 

SLB

Well, this is it.

You know our mantra here at the Intramuralist. We are a respectful dialogue of current events. 

That means the following…

• All topics are welcome.
• Disagreement is completely acceptable.
• The only caveat is that all opinion, perspective and conviction must be stated in a way that is respectful toward the one who disagrees with you.

Hence, there is no denigration, insult nor targeted vulgarity. 

In order to aid in said standards, there are also aims and objectives we frequently advocate for and sincerely encourage, believing they are good and wise and true. For example…

• Learn what it means to honor other people.
• Figure the faith thing out.
• Listen — and listen especially to a variety of voices.

One of culture’s current challenges is that many of us only listen to the same sort of voices over and over again — and then walk away thinking we have a solid opinion and perspective because we’ve heard the same thing so many times. If the voices all come from like sources, then we’re unknowingly ignorant of the insulated bubble we’ve conveniently prepackaged ourselves in. That bubble then impedes conversation. Why? Because we’re thoroughly convinced we’re right, unaware of our own ignorance.

Such is why we advocate listening to different voices… people from all walks of life — age, ethnicity, education, profession… people with all sorts of experience — easy, hard, silly or serious… people with different stories to share.

One of the reasons we struggle to solve problems is because we equate singular experience — or similar experience heard repeatedly — as truth. The key — and a key that I wish absolutely every legislator, leader and lawyer knew and acknowledged — is that wise and effective solution comes when we listen to the different, when we work to understand alternative points of view, and pragmatically discern how they all fit together, rather than trumping one angle as truth and getting stuck in our own bubble.

Here at the Intramuralist, we practice what we preach.

As has been our creative, annual custom in our near 15 year existence, it is time for our 2023 Guest Writer Series!!

I am so excited, friends!

Over the course of the next several weeks, you will hear from all sorts of people — that variety of voices. You will hear from a former politician, licensed professional counselor and educator. You will hear from working professionals, a stay-at-home mom and at least one still college student. 

The topics vary, too, as do their passions. From masking to anxiety to 100 questions with a historian, this talented group has much to discuss!

We learn from one another no doubt.

So while personally I engage in a brief season of intentional rest — a practice that the older I get, I question why I didn’t develop the discipline earlier in life — our 2023 excellent guest writers have a few things to share with you.

Know now that I will not agree with everything they say. They do not speak for me. But these are men and women from all walks of life who are committed to respectful dialogue. Thus, they are people from whom we can learn, grow and be encouraged. Such will always, always trump agreement.

Enjoy, my friends. Fire up to start on Wednesday…

Respectfully… and ciao for now…

AR

Seriously. Who/what do you follow?

Those on Instagram, for instance, who have the most followers, are:

1. Cristiano Ronaldo — The Portuguese professional soccer player has more followers than many have in their own country with 593 million followers. 
2. Lionel Messi — The Argentine soccer player gets close to Ronaldo, but only with 475 million followers.
3. Selena Gomez — One of the fastest recent risers, this non-athlete talks about far more than being the Biebs’ ex-girlfriend. Her food and mental health conversations have found her with over 423 million followers.
4. Kylie Jenner — Here comes the first of this familial clan, as this media personality and young business woman now has 395 million followers.
5. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson — This retired professional wrestler, now actor and tequila connoisseur finds himself 5th on the list with 385 million followers.
6. Ariana Grande — The pop icon with an impressive four-octave range tunes in with 375 million followers.
7. Kim Kardashian — A half-sister of the aforementioned Jenner, this media personality slightly trails the above with 360 million followers.
8. Beyoncé Knowles — Unquestionably, “Queen Bey” is one of the greatest entertainers of her generation, evident by her 312 million followers. 
9. Khloe Kardashian — Next in the famous family tree is the “reality” TV sister with 309 million followers.
10. Nike — At 10th comes our first non-individual, with the popular shoe brand currently netting some 299 million followers.
11. Justin Bieber — One of my personal faves, the Canadian-born pop star has 292 million followers.
12. Kendall Jenner — Another Kardashian/Jenner celebrity — daughter of Kris and then Bruce — now Caitlyn — has a respectable 291 million followers.
13. National Geographic — The only other non-individual focuses on authentic beauty without any make-up, as noted by its 279 million followers.
14. Taylor Swift — Swifties shake off any idea that their icon isn’t in the top ten, regardless of also only 264 million followers.
15. Virat Kohli — And lastly, in spot 15, we’re bookended by one more sports star, this one a cricketeer with 252 million followers.

My personal feed includes a few (far) lesser known personalities, such as Omgitswicks, the “part tour guide/part wise uncle” who provides hilarious sketch comedy focused on Florida nuances, and TJ Therrien, the middle child who showcases family therapy by amusingly exaggerating the differences in the oldest, middle and youngest child approaches. 

But all that to make a singular point this day…

All of the above are known as who/what we enjoy… we like… at the very least we’re curious and want to pay attention them. Hence, we follow them. 

But my strong sense, with absolute all due respect to each of the above, is that current culture has diluted what it means to follow.

Whether it be a new diet, the Golden Rule or Jesus Christ, for example, to actually follow doesn’t mean simply to enjoy, like or pay attention to. It doesn’t mean being curious or behaving however we want to. To “follow” and “follow halfheartedly” are contradictory. To follow, friends, is to be wholly in. What we like or agree with are secondary to why we chose to follow the who/what to begin with.

Seriously.

Respectfully…

AR