intramuralist ™

Oh, how I long for a September 12th mentality…

… a day we came together…

… a day we knew that life was short…

… a day we knew what was good and right and true…

… a day we knew all lives mattered…

… a day we weeped together…

… a day we cried out to a holy God, recognizing we need help and we are not Him…

… a day we encouraged one another…

… a day we listened well to others…

… a day we loved our neighbor…

… a day we focused on the big picture…

… a day social media rants were recognized as unhelpful…

… a day we knew being divisive wasn’t wise…

… a day politics didn’t matter…

… a day we weren’t so polarized…

… a day we respected firemen and law enforcement…

… a day leaders led…

… a day leaders fought the real enemy and not one another…

… a day leaders knew who the real enemy was…

… a day we knew shaming all Democrats or all Republicans was shortsighted…

… a day even in disagreement, we respected our President…

… a day where collectively we knew that love is always stronger than hate…

… a day where we learned hate was only associated with evil…

… a day in which we kept the main thing, the main thing…

… a day where we were kinder…

… a day we knew the Taliban was bad…

… a day we all knew sports was just a game…

… a day we always shook hands at the end of the game…

… a day when imperfect as we are, we still respected the flag…

… a day we were humbled as a nation, but full of resolve…

… a day we knew what mattered most…

As Jeff Parents, founder of the New York Says Thank You Foundation — an organization which is devoted “to build hope and provide healing to people around the world to continually ‘pay it forward’ for the humanity, kindness, and volunteer spirit New Yorkers — and all Americans — experienced on 9/12 — as Parents said…

“We’re not about what happened on 9/11. We’re about what happened on 9/12.”

Let me say that once more…

“We’re not about what happened on 9/11. We’re about what happened on 9/12.”

May we not forget either 9/11 or 9/12.

May we not lose sight of what’s most important.

May we stop allowing lesser things to get in the way.

Respectfully…

AR

20 years ago today, I was attempting to grapple with a coming new reality. It wasn’t expected, wanted, nor bound to be easy. While simultaneously thrilled and overwhelmed with the thought of soon raising another child, it never ever occurred to me that the plan for my life would include a son with a perilous heart defect and potentially special needs, too. The number of thoughts swirling in my head and the pace at which they swirled were far more than I could comprehend.

Three days later, hiding in my home somewhat, preparing to soon somehow balance all the ‘new’ on my plate, my friend, Cathy, called — knowing I never turn on the TV in the morn — emphatically imploring me to turn it on now.

The North Tower had been burning for several minutes, with American Airlines Flight 11 crashing into floors 93-99, killing everyone on board and still hundreds more inside the building.

Succinctly said, it was impossible to make sense of what we were seeing.

I walked out of the room briefly (since two already born toddlers also needed tending to). Soon then United Airlines Flight 175 slammed into floors 75-85 of the South Tower, also killing all on board and hundreds more inside.

That made comprehension harder, as now we knew this was not an accident.

The President spoke 28 minutes later, identifying the scene in lower Manhattan as an “apparent terrorist attack on our country.” Innocent people were intentionally murdered. All in the name of evil.

Our eyes remained glued to the TV. Still trying, yearning, aching — something — trying to somehow make sense of it all. That’s the problem; isn’t it? Evil makes no sense.

Still sobered by our senseless shock, rumors were flying of additional attacks. The Pentagon was hit — American Airlines Flight 77. There was talk of the White House and the U.S. Capitol building being next. Some 3,300 commercial flights and 1,200 private planes were quickly grounded.

And then perhaps, when we had mistakenly concluded our shock could swell no more, at precisely 9:59 a.m., the South Tower of the World Trade Center began to crumble. 

I remember watching as it was happening — seemingly in slow motion… increasingly aware of the gravitas of the moment… still carrying that single, new life inside of me… while other lives were dying. As much as I had my own fears swirling up inside, it did not compare to what I was witnessing on TV.

In the days and years past, I have oft reflected on that time — again now, as my son approaches the twentieth anniversary of his birth. I can’t help but remember all the compounding emotions of the season.

Of course, there was continued horror on the actual day… United Airlines Flight 93, which crashed in Western Pennsylvania… and then again, at 10:28, when the remaining tower returned to dust. 

In our reflection, no doubt there is still so much to learn and glean… so much embedded within the unforgettable, awful tragedy…

One, evil exists on this planet. It existed in 2001; it exists in 2021. There are people who desperately want to kill the innocent. There are people who deeply desire to rid the world of persons unlike them — persons who don’t think like them, believe like them — sadly, in our country, even vote like them. Stop it, friends. That’s pure folly. Unlike thinking does not equate to evil.

Two, life is bigger than self. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our own experience — or the experiences of those closest to us — that we become incapable of seeing the bigger picture. While I was pretty rocked in my own emotional world going into 9/11, there was far more going on than what was happening to me. Life will never be defined by a sole set of circumstances. 9/11 made that painfully clear.

And three, it’s important to keep the main thing the main thing. The bottom line of September 11, 2001 is that the militant Islamist terrorist group al-Qaeda deliberately attacked the U.S., killing 2,977 people. Our country responded by invading Afghanistan to depose the Taliban. That’s part of what’s made recent weeks so incredibly frustrating; it’s not that any “war on terror” needed to be re-waged, but how we exited Afghanistan and who we left behind was once again horrific. Terrorists remain housed there — including al-Qaeda. How we are proceeding? Who are we trusting? We need to remind ourselves what the main thing actually is.

And so I sit here on the eve of the twentieth anniversary of the deadliest terrorist attack in human history… 

Very aware of and thankful for life…

Very aware of innocent lives lost…

And still, very sobered… even 20 years later.

Respectfully…

AR

In recent years I went through the process of becoming my youngest son’s legal guardian. And while an incredibly skilled and gifted individual, as a young man with a few special, special needs, it’s important that another be involved in his personal, financial, and possible medical decisions going forward.

Noting that it’s slightly varied state-by-state, allow me to briefly describe what we experienced, which I believe to be comparable to other state processes. It took months, was a mountain of either actual or online paperwork, included visits and/or records of most every physician ever involved in his care, took multiple in-person appointments with the courthouse, attorneys, etc., interviews, and a few hundreds of dollars. Last but not least, once approved and all requirements were met, I had to attend an all-day class to be officially certified as his legal guardian. I had to do all this, as his mom.

To be clear, if any other would have desired to be my kid’s legal guardian, their process would have been almost, exactly the same.

Let that sit in for a moment. The 18 years I spent shaping, teaching, guiding, directing, disciplining, enjoying, investing in, caring for, feeding, funding, blessing, etc. — granted, all imperfectly so, as outside of heaven, there is no perfect parent — counted for absolutely zero. Zilch. Nada.

I can remember talking with a respected attorney early on in the process. More stupefied than offended, I questioned the credulity of what we were required to do. The legal process, the laws crafted and actions dictated by the governing authorities, were embraced and enacted in order to protect all wards from any potential abuse of care. Some who become the legal guardian of another take gross advantage of their role.

That scenario has continued to prompt extensive pause in me. It’s made me think about how law is crafted and how government proceeds.

Let me humbly rephrase. 

It’s made me think about who and what we prioritize when law is crafted and government proceeds.

How spurious to assume that as an active, engaged and pretty decent parent to my kid over the entire course of his life that I still needed one more course. How vacuous to disregard our family history so sweetly and diligently built in those previous 18 years. But I am not the one prioritized by the law nor government. The chosen priority of the law and government — and no doubt an understandable concern — but their chosen priority allowed them to ignore me.

That’s the tension here, friends. When we stand and cheer or tweet or whatever for singular sides of any debate, are we humble enough… insightful enough… shrewd enough to recognize how our passionate position often ignores someone else?

That’s my question: who are we justifying ignoring?

Who are we suggesting as a result of this law, what happens to them is lesser?

Who or what in our priorities, are we saying does not matter?

If we are going to stand behind the mantra and virtue that all lives really do matter, then we need to wrestle with who each of us is ignoring in the passions and positions we hold so conspicuously dear.

Before my guardianship experience, I remember sitting with a speaker, a little frustrated with his teaching, because he justified tailering his teaching to 70% of his audience. He gently but firmly said I needed to recognize I was in the other 30%. He then equated what he perceived as a lesser percentage with no need to pay attention to them. No need, dare I say, to respect or work to understand either.

Let me suggest that a wise and civic society does not ignore the 30%. With absolutely every issue facing our politically polarized and thus paralyzed public — from here to Afghanistan — we can’t ignore the others; we can’t count them as lesser. Unfortunately, though, to justify that ignorance, we often go further, demonizing different perspective and experience instead. Sorry, friends, but that feels even more foolish to me. Actually, inaccurate and unfair, too. Demonization is most often used to embolden our own position as opposed to wisely wrestle with all who are affected by what we’ve chosen to believe. 

Wisdom thus compels us to compassionately wrestle with the different. Wisdom makes us refrain from equating percentage with lesser. And wisdom requires us to not allow priorities to justify who and what we’ve chosen to ignore.

Ignorance is not bliss, my friends. It’s not wisdom either.

Respectfully…

AR

It was Sen. Daniel Patrick Moynihan, I believe, who first articulated that “you are entitled to your opinion, but you are not entitled to your own facts.” Moynihan was a unique statesman; long before the present days of polarized partisanship, the New York Democrat also served in various advisory positions to Presidents Kennedy, Nixon, and Ford.

Unfortunately, no less, we often ignore facts. Sometimes they are inconvenient in the binary conclusions we’re tempted to cling to…

This person is all bad… this one is all good…

This party is all bad…

This church is all bad…

And then we compartmentalize the facts in such a way that we never have to wrestle with how they contradict some of our opinions. As has been said here in various ways in multiple days, to conclude that this, the past, or another administration is all healthy, competent and full of integrity — or not — is probably to have misconstrued the facts. Oh, how I wish our government was consistently known for both its integrity and competence. Compassion and financial prudence, too.

Allow us, therefore, to simply provide a tool today from a fact checking perspective. For example, did you know that fact checkers also have known bias? … and that influences the presentation of their conclusions?

Snopes, NPR, Politifact — they each lean left. Breibart, National Review — they lean right.

Understand that bias does not necessarily reflect accuracy nor credibility; bias instead plays itself out in the fact checking world by what or who the checker chooses to cover and how subjective analysis is included.

Writes AllSides, one of the Intramuralist’s favorite, recommended, respectful news sources: 

“Fact check websites like Snopes and Politifact reveal their bias numerous ways. Often, fact checkers will analyze information for the reader and draw a conclusion about the meaning of the facts, which is subjective in nature. Other times, they’ll display bias based on what facts they choose to downplay or to highlight. They also show bias based on story choice — for example, primarily fact checking left-wing politicians, or only fact checking right-wing claims.”

Based on reader feedback, notice AllSides interpretation of fact checkers here:

(To be clear, the above is different that charts we have previously posted; this simply addresses those who claim to check facts. The Intramuralist checks The Dispatch and RealClearPolitics daily.)

I wonder what it would do to the depth and respect level of our conversation — and to the humility we extend to one another — if we recognized the bias even embedded in the so-called “facts.” What would it change?

Would our conversations be better?

Would we make more progress?

If we realized our opinion was emboldened because of bias, would it soften the brash tenacity with which we oft feel compelled to speak? … especially on social media?

Many thanks, Sen. Moynihan.

No doubt we each still have more to learn.

Respectfully…

AR

Saturday mornings are a great time to take a long, leisurely walk in our community. We’re pretty wellness focused here; in addition to the neighborhood gym, there’s some 40+ miles of walking trails. Yesterday, in fact, was especially sweet. Almost all of a sudden, displayed on dozens of front patios and lanais, the American flag was proudly displayed.

Let’s be honest. Some have struggled with the flag in recent years. Some have used it as a brash source of protest. Some as a bold sign of patriotism. Some have wished to fly it or trounce it in the face of another. Still others use it to mop up tears or to drape a casket in the ultimate sacrifice.

I would like to believe, no less, the flags flown in my neighborhood are for something else this week…

That we know who our enemies actually are.

One of the most grievous errors of even the intelligent is the mistaken identity of our enemy. Let’s go one step further. One of the most grievous errors of even the intelligent is the mistaken identity and promotion of that enemy.

Such is part of what has been so difficult and confusing about the week behind. The images in Afghanistan have been awful… people killed, suicide bombers, babies thrown over fences, people in absolute desperation, fearing for their very lives…

The Taliban have taken over the country. Let’s remind ourselves briefly of who they are…

The Taliban — or “students” in the Pashto language — enforce what the BBC refers to as “their own austere version of Sharia, or Islamic law.”  Ruthless adherence to this “austere version” is demanded, with the Taliban having a long history of gross abuses and attacks especially on women, Americans, and on any civilians and journalists who dissent. They are a religious movement that relies on physical force.

When they ruled the majority of Afghanistan pre-9/11, note Wikipedia’s report: “The Taliban and their allies committed massacres against Afghan civilians, denied UN food supplies to 160,000 starving civilians, and conducted a policy of scorched earth, burning vast areas of fertile land and destroying tens of thousands of homes. While the Taliban controlled Afghanistan, they banned activities and media including paintings, photography, and movies that depicted people or other living things… The Taliban prevented girls and young women from attending school, banned women from working jobs outside of healthcare (male doctors were prohibited from treating women), and required that women be accompanied by a male relative and wear a burqa at all times when in public. If women broke certain rules, they were publicly whipped or executed. Religious and ethnic minorities were heavily discriminated against during Taliban rule.”

And yet these are the people to which the American government recently gave a list of US citizens, green card holders, and Afghan allies wanting to get out of their country. These are a group of people unquestionably marked by authoritarianism and violence. And these are a group of people we are attempting to trust.

To say our government’s approach to withdrawal has been incredibly poor is being kind. The inconsistency and inaccuracy of their messaging may be worse. But let me also remind us that we are not the enemy.

While the Taliban is not currently designated as an official Foreign Terrorist Organization (FTO), they still have not taken tangible steps to break the ties with the enemies they continue to house. Al Qaeda, ISIS, ISIS-K, etc. are still active in Afghanistan. Dare we go out on a limb here, they are our enemies.

Hence, the next time one of our American leaders attempts to paint an entire political party as our enemy, let them be convicted of their foolishness.

The next time we cheer along with the rhetoric — concluding that because of the way another thinks or votes or wants to wear/not wear their mask — that they are our enemy, let us be quieted in our judgment — choosing humility instead, with a commitment to grow in our understanding of others.

And the next time we get so frustrated with the imperfections in our country — those existing pockets of oppression and injustice, inefficiency and hardship — let us not fight to trounce all others and tear all systems down. Let’s work together, recognizing we are not the enemy. There’s a reason people are throwing those babies over fences. There’s a reason people want to come here. There’s a reason we take refugees.

That’s what working together takes, my friends. It starts by ridding our rhetoric of its inherent folly, changing our harsh, divisive thinking, and recognizing instead who the enemy actually is.

Under no circumstances is it us.

Respectfully…

AR

One of the three zillion things drilled into me as a kid was to let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’ and your ‘No’ be ‘No.’ In other words, say what you mean and mean what you say. In my spirited adolescence, I far from fathomed that such would be equally challenging for many in adulthood. Why is it so hard to speak accurately?

Maybe there’s an unspoken caveat worth wrestling with… is inaccuracy due to ignorance or dishonesty? While ignorance and dishonesty may manifest themselves identically, motive separates the two. 

To be ignorant — to misspeak, per se — means to unknowingly say something wrong. 

To be dishonest — to mislead — means to say something wrong intentionally.

There is no chip off anyone’s integrity for misspeaking. There is far more than a chip off for misleading.

One of the challenges with many of our leaders — and this goes back far more than the past seven months — is that their “yes” hasn’t always meant “yes” and their “no” not “no.” It’s then up to us to discern intention. Are they misspeaking or misleading?

Better yet, what determines our assessment? Is misspeaking or misleading based on…

… whether we like them or not? … because liking someone is an accurate gauge of discernment…

… whether we voted for them or not? … because if we voted for a person, surely we wouldn’t have supported anyone other than a beacon of integrity…

I’ll be honest — and I indeed mean no disrespect — I’m simply respectfully sharing a sincere opinion. I have struggled with the communication especially of the two most recent Presidents. I was not a fan of Pres. Trump’s often arrogant, over-use of Twitter nor of Pres. Biden’s often press-avoidant, over-reliance of the teleprompter. There have been far too many inaccuracies by both. 

Sometimes I feel like our leaders are telling us what they think we want to hear — or what they think sounds best — or they’re trying to talk us into something — like we can’t handle the truth. The messaging, for example, on the current turmoil in Afghanistan has been grossly inconsistent and wrong. And that’s the reporting of news sources all across the biased political spectrum.

So we ask once more: is inaccuracy due to ignorance or dishonesty?

The reality is we can’t always tell.

Vanessa Van Edwards, author of the best-selling book Captivate, suggests that while 82% of lies go undetected, 54% actually can be spotted if we know what to look for. Since in her extended research, she shares that “only six out of ten Americans claimed to tell the truth every day,” I’m thinking it might be wise to have a few more tools in our discernment.

According to Van Edwards, these ten signs help discern when people may be lying:

1. A change in speech patterns
2. The use of non-congruent gestures (when body movements don’t match a person’s actual words)
3. Not saying enough
4. Saying too much
5. An unusual rise or fall in vocal tone
6. Direction of their eyes
7. Covering their mouth or eyes
8. Excessive fidgeting
9. Finger pointing (literal or figurative)
10. Self-identifying as a “good liar”

Looks like there’s lots to discern. 

Letting our ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’ and our ‘No’ be ‘No’ would be easier.

Wiser, too.

Respectfully…

AR

Ok, I admit it. There were many days over the course of the past month in which it was incredibly tempting to pick up my pen (or actually, open Pages) and craft a post. But two premises rang louder: one, the guest writers of our annual summer series articulated themselves thoughtfully on some terrific topics; and two, rest is vital; breaks are necessary; we are better at what we do when we are intentional with our rest.

So let’s mark today’s return with some select shout outs…

A shout out first to those guest writers…

Thank you for your thoughtful, inspiring words. You modeled well how to express that about which you are passionate without ever adding insult or “you idiot” to the end of your sentence. I continue to learn much from you, once again recognizing that just because I, too, may be passionate, there may well be more than one valid perspective. That is wise for us all. May the passion of our perspective never blind us to the acute angle of another.

A shout out next to all the healthcare professionals, dealing especially with this Covid crud…

What a tough time in the industry. I can only imagine. No doubt you didn’t pursue this professional course for celebrity or political status; you wanted to make a difference in people’s lives. And you are.

I can’t imagine what it’s been like, striving to do your job well during this oscillating pandemic. You’ve had to creatively, wisely navigate through a changing protocol and challenging public. God bless you. Unfortunately, we the people can be an opinionated bunch. With great grace and understanding to the immunocompromised, may we always be aware and honoring of those around us.

A shout out to all the Olympians from earlier this month — and especially to you, Simone Biles…

So we don’t all think the same way on this… that’s ok.

When Simone, you made the decision that you were incapable of participating, I’ll be honest; it was hard. So many of us across the country and globe had come to gleefully cheer you on these past five years. You’re the G.O.A.T. And America loves her goats.  

But what some of us omitted in our reaction was that hard as it was for us, it had to be harder for you. One of the things I think we often forget — or I’ll make this just about me, throwing no one but self under the bus — but one of the things I often forget is the importance of proximity. Here I was feeling bad — a little heartbroken honestly… wanting to still cheer… thinking you could still somehow do it… feeling bad, too, for maybe someone who could have made the squad had you discerned this earlier… and then I realized how far I was away. I speak not of the approximate 7,250 miles between here and Tokyo; instead I acknowledge that I’m simply a fan on TV. I don’t have any intimate or close up view. My perspective is therefore limited by my proximity. Your perspective, Simone, is a zillion times better. Knowing that, I have great admiration for the one who realizes how important their mental, physical, and spiritual health is. I admire the example you are for the rest of us, being intentional in self care. May each of us always be aware of our proximity.

A shout out, too, to those who have reacted and responded to the current turmoil in Afghanistan honestly, transparently and with zero other agenda…

What’s happening in this Central-South Asian country is heartbreaking. The real life images are absolutely awful. That’s where I believe we should be most focused; let our prayers be heard. 

What I also believe is that the foresight, execution, and communication of the current administration has been chaotic, confusing, and deeply concerning. Hear me clearly: four administrations have had a role in what has transpired over the past 20 years; they thus hold some degree of culpability. But Pres. Biden’s actions and communication (or lack of it) have been equivocal at best. His unavailability to the American press and public is dubious. The entire situation is soberly disappointing.

I say all that first because due to our hyper-polarized political state, it’s tough to admit when someone we support makes a significant mistake; in fact, as a people, we’ve become pretty stingy in our extension of grace, thinking our leaders should never be susceptible to error. That doesn’t make sense to me. May we thus always offer mercy and grace — remembering mercy triumphs over judgment — but may we be humble enough, too, to admit our obvious errors in judgment.

And our final shout out, to you, the reader…

Writing the Intramuralist is truly a labor of love. I enjoy the writing, researching, observing, learning and interacting… I enjoy the humbling truth of knowing and acknowledging that I’m not always right. I don’t even always realize when I’m not right. But life is journey, a journey God gives us to learn and grow and learn how to love and respect one another. I thus am grateful to you… being on this journey together.

Respectfully — and thrilled to be back…

AR

Often, I need the thoughts of others to touch my perspective, to renew my spirit, to balance my focus.  Sometimes I would like to send these words to others who in my limited observation appear to need them too, need them for the same reasons I do.  So, I share some I value and humbly suggest how they may affect other readers.

For all those who are over-stressed and over-booked, always with an i-phone in hand, those who think life is a race to be won, not a privilege to enjoy, I’d send the words  of Nicholas Sparks: “Imagine life is a game in which you are juggling five balls.  The balls are called work, family, health, friends, and integrity.  And you are keeping all of them in the air.  But one day you finally understand that work is a rubber ball.  If you drop it, it will bounce back.  The other balls — health, family, friends, and integrity — are made of glass.  If you drop one of these, it will be irrevocably scuffed, nicked, perhaps even shattered.  And once you truly understand the lesson of the five balls, you will have the beginning of balance in your life.”

To all my teacher colleagues in any area of education, I’d send the words of Haim Ginott: “I have come to a frightening conclusion.  I am the decisive element in the classroom.  It is my daily mood that makes the weather.  As a teacher I possess a tremendous power to make a child’s life miserable or joyous.  I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration.  I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal.  In all situations it is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or de-escalated, and a child humanized or dehumanized.”

To those of us who are concerned about where our culture is headed, I’d send the words of Gandhi: “Things that will destroy us are politics without principle, pleasure without conscience, wealth without work, knowledge without character, business without morality, science without humanity, and worship without sacrifice.”

To those who want the word “Success” chiseled on their tombstone, the words of Emerson speak: “To laugh often and much.  To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children.  To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends.  To find the best in others.  To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition.  To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.  This is to have succeeded.”

And to those of us who are at the stage of life where we say, “Okay, now what?”  because of retirement, health, age, I’d send the words of John Wesley: “Do all the good you can by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can.”

There are also a few adages I like whose speakers are unknown:

War does not determine who is right, only who is left.

You have a right to your own opinion but not your own facts.

Life is not a contact sport.

You never get ahead trying to get even.

You do not learn by talking, only by listening.

We judge others by their actions, ourselves by our intentions.

And my favorite:  Love is the answer; never mind the question.

I’ve read that people who think make others think… that is what the Intramuralist does, and hopefully these shared words with do that too. 

Thanks for this opportunity.

Respectfully…

DL

Perspective is a very personal, unique part of ourselves. Perspective provides a wonderful motivation to make change but can also hinder our ability to change. Our perspectives change as we glean more information on a subject or become more “solid” as we become overloaded with too much information. The interdependence between the two are intriguing.

Historical perspective is the understanding of the social, cultural, intellectual, and emotional settings that has shaped people’s lives and actions in the past. This requires comprehending the differences between us both in the present and the past. Historical perspective has an impact on who we are, how we view ourselves, how we view others. Our perspectives impact change.

Recently, my husband and I were watching an Australian murder mystery that presented not only a traditional academic view but also a strong Indigenous point of view regarding an archaeological dig located in northwest Australia. Although the show’s plot was fictional, it presented moral and practical dilemmas regarding a dig on the Indigenous People’s land. 

The University staff were trying to preserve bones and artifacts that would prove life existed on this particular location longer than anyone in the academic world had thought, thus securing the department’s future funding. The local people who had inhabited the lands for thousands of years saw the dig as intrusive for they knew through their strong oral tradition how long their ancestors had inhibited the lands. They knew their place in time and history. Ironically, there was a changing tide pattern threatening to sweep the bones away into the sea in six weeks. 

The Indigenous community did not want their family members displayed in a case or in a traveling exhibit. The question arose: don’t ancestors have the right to rest in peace?  The Indigenous community brought up the point that the scientist only cared when there was something in it for them. The scientist argued that the rest of the world would have this new knowledge and if these items were not recovered they would be gone forever. Different perspectives. Who was right? Who was wrong? Or were they both right?

I found this an interesting dilemma. Each perspective was compelling. How many of us have good intentions looking in, but do we really understand? Do we want outsiders digging up our great-grandma only to display her bones in a museum far away from the land that she nurtured? Where is the reverence for the dead? Do we only care when it is about us?

It also got me thinking about the many questions that have been raised the past few years regarding the teaching of the history of the United States. Here are some questions that came to mind.

• Who owns history? 
• Do we want to be ”economical” with the truth? If so, why?
• Does everyone deserve their connection to the past?
• What is our relationship to time? 
• Should healing be a part of teaching history? 
• Is revisionist history healthy?
• If it is the truth, why are we afraid to reveal it?

We are a nation with changing perspectives. Not everyone’s history has been recorded in the history books. What is wrong with recognizing the contributions of several? Why are we afraid to know that some of George Washington’s teeth were taken from slaves and not made solely of wood? Forty-one of the fifty-six Founding Fathers owned enslaved people. Women basically could not own property when this country was formed and could not get a credit card in their name until the mid-1970s. Standards of citizenship, property ownership, marriage and several other rights have evolved differently for different people as perspectives have changed. Our founders understood that their way was not going to be the only way of doing things. 

Gouverneur Morris, the “Penman of the Constitution,” wrote regarding the mindset of the framers of the Constitution that “Surrounded by difficulties, we did the best we could; leaving us to take counsel who should come after us from experience, and exercise prudently the power of the amendment, which we had provided.”

Unrest and events that have caused our nation to have different perspectives have been a part of the beginning of this country …Boston Tea Party (1773), Trail of Tears (1830), Stockyard Strike (1904), Triangle Shirtwaist Fire (1911), Matewan (1920), Puerto Rican Cancer drug trials (1930s), Institutions of Wartime Civil Control (1942-1946), Tuskegee syphilis study (1946-1949), Puerta Rican birth control pill trials (1950s), Emmitt Till (1955), March on Selma (1965), Stonewall Riots (1969), Legalization of Same Gender Marriage (2015), George Floyd (2020) and many more. 

Your relationship to the time of these events can have an impact. The rapidness of change impacts perspective. 

The 2020 U.S. Census showed for the first time in the history of the U.S. Census since 1790 that the white population has not grown, and race-ethnic minorities are responsible for all national growth in the United States population. The white population is declining among the total U.S. population years ahead of the expected trend. 

Consider how rapidly population rates are starting to change. The U.S. was 88.9% white in 1910 and 88% white in 1970. By 2010 the white population was just over 70% and is approximately 60% in 2020 census. I have to wonder how this has impacted all people’s view of their perceived power and their standing in society. Has this demographic change impacted perspectives on the many changes that have happened the past 20 years? Maybe. 

The United States is a tapestry of people with different perspectives. There is great strength in the diversity of strands. For my beautiful multiracial, multi-ethnic grandchildren, I hope America recognizes them as more equal partners to be valued for their rich, diverse heritage. Their unique heritage and perspective will help them and others be the courageous problem solvers this beautiful country needs. They need to be full participants, part of the evolving change we are witnessing. Their perspectives are needed for the change that is ahead.

Respectfully…

VEE

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(Intramuralist Note: we are experiencing technical difficulties in this posting and are currently unable to edit our “person/quote” of the day. Allow me to introduce you to VEE…)

VEE

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I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: I can’t remember a time when VEE and I weren’t friends.  From endless summers debating the old N.L. West and who was better — Garvey or Rose — VEE and I grew up together. In fact, I would suggest, we are still growing up together. 

Perhaps one of the most empathetic hearts one will ever meet, even though our life’s journeys have taken us via different routes, I have always had tremendous admiration and respect for VEE. Her positive attitude, zest for life, and genuine love and concern for other people make her a blessed gift to me and many.

The Story…

I remember sitting there in awe. Joe talked about how they went to San Francisco and the school was paying for it. They visited companies like Google and Apple. The group was Honors Cohort, a selective honors program in the Fisher College of Business at The Ohio State University. I was only a freshman, so I could not apply until a sophomore. Joe was a member of the program and made the experience sound unreal. From that day on, Joe had me sold on applying for the program. So I got as involved as I could from day one… working on campus, leading blood drives, joining a sports club and fraternity… other things. Yet I did not think any of those would prepare me for the real world like Honors Cohort could.

Flash forward to sophomore year. I had two things on my mind: applying to Honors Cohort and finding a summer internship. With summer fast approaching, I updated my resume, threw on my newly-bought suit, and headed to the career fair. While I spoke with numerous companies, most of them shared I was too young for an internship as an underclassmen. However, one company, known as Vertiv, gave me a shot; we planned an interview for the future. At the same time, I submitted my application for Honors Cohort, which included essays, interviews, and other short answer questions. I could not wait to find out if I made it.

I will never forget the week before spring break, my sophomore year. Certainly it was exciting knowing I was headed to south Florida for break, but regardless, it was a big week for me. That Wednesday, I was supposed to interview with Vertiv for their marketing internship. Additionally, the results of my Honors Cohort application would come out, two days after the interview. I was a bundle of anxious, nervous, and excited. With Wednesday approaching, I reserved a quiet room on campus for the upcoming phone interview. The nerves I quickly left, however, when I read an email from my contact at Vertiv, saying they cancelled their marketing internship. I felt betrayed, since I did not even have the chance to prove I was a reasonable candidate… still promised an interview. It not an ideal situation. 

Although I was upset about Vertiv, I was not entirely distraught. I just had to keep applying. That next day, I applied t maybe 25 internships on Ohio State’s job board. I was simply motivated to find something for the summer. I was not even sure what companies I applied to. Motivation, however, was secondary to the excitement I had about Honors Cohort. I was not one to check my email, but as soon as I woke up that Friday, at the bright hour of 7:00 am, I was spamming my refresh button and I finally found it: an email from the Honors Cohort Director. Only it was not what I wanted to hear; it was exactly what I wanted to shut out. I did not make the program. I was denied. 

Getting denied from Honors Cohort and Vertiv was not a positive way to begin spring break. I started asking my friends and classmates about Honors Cohort and their upcoming summers. Turns out, most of them had internships. Whether it was with JPMorgan, L Brands, or another company, most people knew what they were doing for that summer. Also, my former roommate let me know he was selected for Honors Cohort. He pointed out how his friend, who he considered to be an average student at best, also was chosen. It really felt as if I was on the outside looking in when it came to this honors program and summer internships. To be honest, I did not really know what to do, so I did the only thing I could think of… 

When I was growing up, I did not take criticism well. I am not exactly sure what kid does take criticism well, but I definitely was not one of them. As I grew up, through resolving conflicts with my brothers and playing sports, I realized that to get better, to grow as an individual, you have to realize what you are not good at. Later on that Friday, the same day I had been rejected and lost significant motivation, I emailed the Honors Cohort Director back. My email read as follows: “I thank you for considering me for Honors Cohort. If you feel I could have bettered myself during this process, in any aspect, please let me know. I believe any constructive criticism can help me in my future endeavors as a student here at Ohio State and beyond.” I simply assumed if I was not succeeding, I needed to do something about it. 

The director actually did not get back to me until after Spring Break, but he was honest and direct. I was not good at interviewing, he told me. I did not communicate well in the interviews for my application and I did not compare favorably to the interviews of other candidates. I would not say I enjoyed hearing this, but it did give me a place to start. I called my friend, one of those who had his internship secured for summer. I told him I needed help interviewing. Fortunately, he obliged, and helped me improve my interviewing skills. 

When I think back to sending that email to the director of Honors Cohort, it may have been the smartest move of my college career thus far. It targeted my focus. It allowed me to look at my failures as reason to improve, not to be sad or demoralized. While it was not easy to admit I was bad at interviewing, I had to. I needed to improve and was fortunate to have a friend who would help. A few weeks after I sent that email, I remember doing homework; finals were only a few weeks away. Out of seemingly nowhere, my phone rang. To my surprise, it was a representative from The Coca-Cola Company. The representative said he saw my application and wanted to ask me a few questions. I most definitely did not remember applying to their company at that moment, but I was not going to mention that. After the call, we set up a second interview. 

Interestingly, the day after I was denied by Vertiv, when I applied to multiple jobs, I applied to The Coca-Cola Company. If everything would have worked out with Vertiv, I never would have even applied to Coca-Cola. After numerous interviews, Coca-Cola offered me an internship in their sports marketing division. I enthusiastically accepted it. I thought back to being denied from Honors Cohort. That program was a dream. I thought it would set me up for 

success! And truthfully, it did. Honors Cohort made me realize what I was not good at and prompted me to fix it. I would have undoubtedly failed once more in the Coca-Cola interviews if my interviewing skills were not improved. To this day, I am so glad I sent that email. 

I was recently reminded of this experience because of another company I have been interviewing for summer: PlayStation. One part of the interview process was to create a potential marketing partnership for the company. After crafting my idea, I called my former boss at The Coca-Cola Company. He helped me iron out the Powerpoint I would send to PlayStation. One thing he emphatically stressed was including the cost of the partnership; he said I needed to include the potential cost for the project. So I obliged and sent it to PlayStation. 

Sitting in my bed the other day, I scrolled through my Instagram feed and found my old roommate, the one who was selected for Honors Cohort. Looked like they just took their annual trip to San Francisco. It certainly seemed like it was a great time. Sometime after, I got a call from PlayStation. They really enjoyed my presentation but said one thing stood out: I was the only applicant to include a potential cost for the project. I was offered the internship a few days later. 

It is hard to believe all that has transpired in the past few years. First, I was denied from Vertiv. That made me apply to The Coca-Cola Company. Next, I was denied from Honors Cohort, which helped me vastly improve my interviewing skills and secure a position with The Coca-Cola Company. Because of the relationships I created at The Coca-Cola Company, I was able to get an internship at PlayStation. Oh, and did I mention where the PlayStation internship is located? San Mateo, a city 20 miles south of San Francisco. I truly could not be more thankful for the failures and struggles I had early on, as they have led me to where I am today. 

The Commentary…

Looking back on that story I wrote, it was one I could not be more proud of. I went from being rejected numerous times to an internship experience that would benefit me for a lifetime. It all played out perfectly… that is, until it did not. As it turns out, my life would take another turn. The internship would not last a lifetime, nor even a day. Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, my internship was cancelled. It was gut-wrenching. I thought I had it all planned out. I had overcome adversity; why was I not rewarded? Truth be told, it was not the best reward I could get. 

I have always thought that satisfaction can be tied back to expectations. A great example is the game of golf. Now I am nowhere near proficient at this sport, but I have played numerous times. When I started, I expected bad shots. I had never played; why would I be good? When I hit a good shot (every 1 in 100 times), I was astounded. Compare that to now, where I hit a good shot more often, I get significantly more frustrated when a bad shot comes off my club. Why? Because I expect to play better. 

I urge you not to make consistent life metaphors out of golf, because the frustration will only build, but I think it makes a solid metaphor here. The cancellation of the PlayStation internship hurt most because of my expectations. I expected to be spending my summer in sunny California, marketing video games which I had played since I had been a kid. Instead I was stuck at home with nothing to do, or as it seemed. 

I mentioned earlier that the spring break of 2019 was an impactful moment for me. Coincidentally, A year later, the United States was introduced to the coronavirus. I sat at the 

dinner table with my family sometime around then, not knowing what to do that summer. I almost felt as if I was in the sequel of some movie. Stay with me here, but in the first movie, I faced a number of conflicts, whether that be Honors Cohort or Vertiv, and like any good entertainment, the story concluded with a happy ending. I faced a bigger conflict in movie #2 and I had to make my own happy ending. Well, not my own, but my brother’s. If you do not know the kid, Josh is an eccentric 19 year-old with a flavor for entertaining the masses. I took that and pledged to make Josh famous on social media. 

Making a person famous is certainly a unique task. Nonetheless, after a year and a half on the social media platform TikTok, Josh has right around 1000 posts, over 240,000 followers, and right around 7,500,000 likes (I write similar stats in my cover letter if you are looking for marketing help). While I direct, edit, and produce his videos, Josh is the star of the show. Whether it is dancing, comedy, or just something random, the kid has a knack for entertainment. I’d say the sequel to the original plot is going quite well. 

The Reflection… 

One of my more humbling moments is that I was wrong in all that I wrote above. I thought I could get into the Honors Cohort. I could not. I thought I could get a job with Vertiv, but I was wrong again. I thought my internship getting cancelled was just a second wave of conflict. Truth is, there is no sequel, trilogy, or (if you’re a Star Wars fan), 9-part series on life’s problems. We have to face them everyday and how we respond significantly influences the impact of the conflicts we face. I probably could have used that advice before I got to college, but here I am nevertheless. 

I have always liked writing. As a kid, I used to try to come up with poems, songs, or anything else I thought would be fun to write. That’s probably why I took the chance to write this piece. This is my second time doing such and I hope I get the chance to do so next year. If so, I’ll check back in. Not to share how my new job is going nor the exciting, new career opportunity I have, but ask me about my younger brother, and I certainly have some words. Love talking about that kid. 

Respectfully…

JT

PERSON/QUOTE

JT