Infamous, celebrity butter connoisseur, Paula Deen — the Paula Deen of the millions of dollars Deen cooking empire — acknowledged the previous use of a racial slur. On Friday, Deen apologized for “the wrong that I’ve done,” following this week’s admission that she said the “N-word” years ago. Almost immediately, the Food Network fired her. The Emmy-winning chef has worked for the Food Network for the past 14 years.
Allow us to begin with a few caveats and statements of fact. First and foremost, none of us know everything; we continually make judgments and build perspective based on limited information. Second, the name calling was not (at least admitted to be) in public. And third, the “N-word” is a racial slur that many of all skin colors still reserve the right to say for some reason. That said…
I wonder… (as you knew I would…)
How forgiving of a society are we?
When exactly does a person “cross the line”?
When has their debt or wrong choice gone too far?
70 times 7? When do we legitimately choose to forgive… or to not?
Please don’t equate consequence with forgiveness. Such is a separate topic; there are consequences for poor choices. Today my question centers around forgiveness… especially as we hear the “aghast’s,” “oh my’s,” and “she should pay” in regard to a Paula Deen.
Can we extend forgiveness that far?
For many we say they don’t deserve to be forgiven…
I’m reminded of the historical king’s account who decided to forgive the monetary debts of his servants. As he got under way in the squaring up process, one servant was brought before him who had run up a debt of a hundred thousand dollars. He couldn’t pay up, so the king ordered the man, along with his wife, children, and goods, to be auctioned off at the slave market. Yes, an awful fate.
The poor wretch threw himself at the king’s feet and begged, “Give me a chance and I’ll pay it all back.” Touched by his plea, the king let him off, actually erasing the debt.
The servant was no sooner out of the room when he came upon one of his own peers who owed him only ten dollars. The servant seized him by the throat and demanded, “Pay up. Now!”
This poor wretch threw himself down and begged, “Give me a chance and I’ll pay it all back,” but he wouldn’t do it. The original servant had him arrested and put in jail until his debt was paid. When the other servants saw this going on, they were outraged and brought a detailed report to the king.
The king summoned the man and said, “You evil servant! I forgave your entire debt when you begged me for mercy. Shouldn’t you be compelled to be merciful to your fellow servant who asked for mercy?”
Isn’t that seemingly half our problem? Even if it’s a poor choice we have also made, we still often hold others to a higher standard than ourselves. We ask for mercy; yet at the same time, we often withhold it from others. We withhold mercy. We refrain from freely offering forgiveness. “They don’t deserve it!” we are tempted to adamantly reply. Paula Deen obviously made a poor choice, but the reality is that many among us — including those at the Food Network — have most likely said the exact same thing or something comparable or even worse. And yet, there is no forgiveness. There is sadly, seemingly, only more “aghast’s,” “oh my’s,” and “she should pay.”
Respectfully,
AR