Daily Life – Page 13 – intramuralist ™

07/28/201507/28/2015

playing by the rules

Funny how this world works… how one thing leads to another… how what we learn in one area is so often applicable to something else…

As the year’s summer baseball season wraps up for my middle son, we found ourselves neck-and-neck in the late innings of one game in a highly competitive tournament last weekend. In fact, since this team has found significant on-field success, we were playing mostly teams a year older.

This game was especially tight, but with two on and no out, our cleanup hitter came to the plate. He quickly smacked a long double to right center field, giving us a two run lead, which seemed somewhat insurmountable in a game where runs were rare.

Before the cheers had yet to subside in the stands, the coach of the other team was out of his dugout, yelling at the umpires. “Check his bat! Check that bat!”

Yes, we were playing in a wood bat tournament, a series where no metal nor composite wood bats are allowed. Funniest thing… our four hitter’s bat sure looked like it was wood. And it was. But buried deep within the rules was the edict that the bats must be made of a singular piece of wood. The bat in question was actually made out of two pieces. Granted, it was not a error of deception; rather, it was an innocent error by a teen with a previously-thought, cool looking bat. After an extended conference with both umpires and opposing coaches, the batter was called out and our two run lead was erased.

Let me be clear. The opposing coach was right. He was completely within his jurisdiction to question what was a potential violation of the rules. In fact, I learned later that this coach was a baseball bat salesman; he knew what he was talking about.

Here’s the problem. Remember we found ourselves neck-and-neck in the late innings of the game. This was the third time the cleanup hitter was at bat. The previous two times at the plate, his at bat did not affect the outcome of the game. Only when it affected the outcome of the game did the opposing coach speak up.

Hence… my questions of the day — my learning from one area applied to another…

How often do we play by the rules only when it affects the desired result?
How often do we demand that others play the rules only when it affects the desired result?
How often are we silent about the rules — because we don’t necessarily want to totally play by them either — until, of course, we can gain some sort of advantage?

I wonder when we play by the rules and when we don’t.

I wonder how often we announce the rules… and… when we choose to stay silent.

Does the end justify the means? Does the game matter?

Is it hypocrisy? Is it unethical? Seems to me way too many inconsistently play by the rules, embracing them when they want to — ignoring them when they don’t.

Let me again say that the coach had every right to come out of the dugout. He was right. The challenge is, though, that too many only come out of the dugout when it benefits them… when it affects the outcome of the game. In business… in government… in activism, etc.

Oh, how I wish what we learn in one area would affect other areas as well…

(And FYI… for the record, the good guys still won. 🙂 )

Respectfully…
AR

07/26/2015

pausing

As I’ve said multiple times previously amidst these posts, every now and then there’s an incident or event that promptly causes me to dismiss what I originally intended to say. Today is one of those days.

In the late hours of Thursday night, just before midnight, a long line of traffic was slowed to a near standstill due to construction on the interstate near my alma mater. Notably in line were a semi-truck, Honda Pilot, and Toyota Yaris. Behind them was a fourth vehicle — driven by a man who when he looked in his rear view mirror, shockingly saw an 18 wheel tanker rapidly nearing at full speed behind them — not slowing for the construction zone. The driver of the fourth car somehow was able to swerve his car out of the way, but the tanker then hit the three aforementioned vehicles, reportedly at full speed.

The Yaris was first knocked into the adjacent ditch, killing the driver, a promising postdoctoral physics student at Purdue. Next hit was the Pilot, driven by a beloved mom and respected optometrist — a member of the community in which I grew up. Also in the car with her were her two young sons, 8 and 10.

When the tanker hit the Pilot, it caused the stationary vehicle to spin initially into the median. The tanker then struck the semi, at which time the tanker caught fire and the Honda Pilot spun into the two semis, also then catching fire. When police arrived on the scene, the tanker and the Pilot were fully engulfed in flames. The driver of the tanker, the mom, and her two children were killed.

My heart aches. I simply cannot easily, emotionally grasp the depth of this tragedy.

Hence, what caused me to pull my planned post today is the thought that moments such as this should make us pause. These moments should stop us. These moments should stop us in our tracks, shake us to our core, and prompt us to ask ourselves what we really believe. What we believe should then affect how we behave.

But we’re too busy. We go from one thing to the next to the next to the next. It’s not that we’re engaged in so-called “bad things”; we just keep going on life’s continuous treadmill without stopping to take note of the surroundings.

If we did take note of the surroundings, I wonder what we’d do differently…

I think we’d be better at putting ourselves in the shoes of another… I think we’d take more time to listen and honor and view the perspectives that are different than our own… I think we’d be better empathizers… I think we’d quit shouting at singular people or people groups…

I think we’d be less likely to embrace and repeat extreme, rhetorical rants — realizing that the often, originally legitimate rant sometimes evolves into a disrespect of someone else… I think we’d be more respectful as a whole… I think we’d be humbler… I think we’d have fewer blindspots…

I think we’d be better at taking time to acknowledge and thank the great big God of the universe. Ever since the world was created, God’s invisible qualities — his eternal power and divine nature — have been evident. Often, though, we don’t seem to pause long enough to see him… thereby becoming far too dependent and puffed up on self.

As said, it’s hard for me to shake the death of this mom especially. As any who have felt such dire loss across the country — from California to the Carolinas — we share in the grief of the families who today struggle with the depth of such unthinkable tragedy.   How do we honor the victims?

Might I suggest we begin with a pause…

Respectfully…
AR

07/23/2015

belief

Anyone who is President or runs for President tends to do three things:

Kiss babies.
Claim to know Econ. And…
Talk about God.

As the 16th entry into the diverse 2016 GOP presidential field, Ohio Gov. John Kasich concluded his announcement on Tuesday with the following:

“As for me, I’m just a flawed man, a flawed man, trying to honor God’s blessings in my life. I don’t even understand it. He’s been very good to me. And I want you to know that I will do my very best to serve you, because you are in my mind’s eye… God bless you and God bless America.”

Ah, yes, to appeal to the masses, we like to invoke the name of God; it sounds good. But when is such a reflection of what we really believe — and when is it merely a strategic manifestation of — shall we say — lip-service?

Even in our seemingly all-things-go society, non-belief is still politically unpopular. I speak not of atheism or agnosticism — those who claim God doesn’t exist or simply say they do not know him. According to the Barna Group, 75% of us believe in God; 92% say Jesus Christ was a real person who actually lived; and 62% of us have made a commitment to Jesus that we say is still important to us today.

But my sense is that belief means something more. Belief cannot be qualified as lip service. Belief changes us. And belief radically changes how we behave.

Belief in an omniscient, omnipotent, amazing grace-giving, compassionate God means we learn to love our brother and sister well. It means to look out especially for the poor, sick, elderly, and orphan. It means that all lives matter.

Belief in this great big God of the universe means we trust more in him than in ourselves. That means I allow my prayer and my pause to direct my heart, mind, soul, and strength. That means I am submissive to someone other than myself.

Belief in God means that I recognize that I don’t have life all figured out… that I don’t know all there is; and I can’t. My experience doesn’t equate itself with exhaustive truth. I recognize there must be someone greater and wiser than me.

Time and time again, I find myself struck by those who share their belief in God, but then seemingly, in the same breath, turn around to chastise another… to only love one person or people group well… or to arrogantly proclaim only they or their tight knit people group has been solely, divinely enlightened. So many times I have been struck by the lack of humility claimed by those who say they believe.

Allow me one more notably, transparent sentence: so many times I have been struck by my own lack of humility.

To say we believe means we are changed. It means our trust comes from God, our empowerment comes from God, and thus our peace and confidence comes from him. That person will be like a tree planted by the water, that sends out its roots, but doesn’t fear when the tough weather comes. The worry is less. The need to control is less. The need to only love some people is less. The need to trump one people group over another is less. The need to proclaim one’s own enlightenment is less. The need for arrogance is less. God is more; we are essentially… “less.”

Make no mistake about it; believing isn’t always easy. It takes faith. It is peace giving and confidence building, but it takes investment on our parts. It takes time. It takes pause.

So many proclaim their belief, but we should also be able to see their belief in how they behave.

It’s too easy to simply kiss all the babies.

Respectfully…
AR

07/12/2015

belief vs. behavior

As duly noted, the Intramuralist has a long stated obsession with the question mark. It’s the only piece of punctuation, friends, that requires a response. The exclamation point is for the shouters — who listen to few others — and the semi-colon, creative as it may be, is for those who tend to ramble and keep on talking; they keep talking; and they keep talking.

Let me be clear: it doesn’t have to be me that asks the question. I stumble upon great, thought-provoking questions daily. For example (with the help of CNN, the International Business Times, National Geographic, and Yahoo News), this week the following questions each gave me pause:

“What’s a ‘sanctuary city,’ and why should you care?”
“Does Greece prove Margaret Thatcher correct that ‘the problem with socialism is that eventually you run out of other people’s money?’ “
“How good is Serena Williams?”
“Now will you believe Bill Cosby’s accusers?”

And (one of my favorites)…

“Did you see that on ‘Shark Week’?”

One question, though, stood out far more than any of the above. Is was a simple question asked by a respected friend. It was a question that combined how we behave with what we believe. I must also acknowledge: it was beautifully profound.

Does your morality dictate your theology — or — your theology dictate your morality?

In other words… do we base how we behave upon what we believe? Or… do we change what we believe because of how we behave?

Do we change what we believe because of how others behave? Or… how people we love behave? Do we change what we believe? Is that wise?

Perhaps no example of such moral relativism stands more poignant in history than England’s King Henry VIII, who ruled from 1509 to 1547. Note that in English tradition — as actually established by Henry VIII — the British monarch also holds the title of Supreme Governor of the Church of England.

While further study of this topic is both deserving and insightful, history shows that Henry VIII had multiple disputes with the Roman Catholic Church and papal authority. Hence, during his reign, he separated from Rome, establishing the Church of England as the official, state-endorsed religion, and he then inserted himself as the church’s head — the perceived moral leader of England.

One of the key, revealing areas of conflict for the King was the Roman church’s teaching on the sanctity of marriage — a problem because Henry VIII no longer wanted to be married to his wife. In fact, there were many wives Henry wished to no longer be married to. After separating from Rome, and thus any strict adherence to the Catholic church, Henry VIII was married six times — four of which ended with the divorce, annulment, or even the beheading of his spouse. He was rumored to have multiple affairs… obviously completely contradicting any sense of sanctity of the marital union and commitment.
King Henry VIII led a nation. He is described in “The Tudor Monarchy,” a historical account depicting the power and politics in England’s history, as “one of the most charismatic rulers to sit on the English throne,” a powerful, attractive, and accomplished king.   I wonder how he would have answered the question: did his morality dictate his theology — or — his theology dictate his morality?

What do we do? What do we change because of how we wish to behave?

As always, great question.

Respectfully…
AR

07/05/201507/05/2015

the end

As expected, I spent our nation’s annual Independence Day pretty much consistent with the past dozen years — as any baseball parent will tell you — dust flying, sweat dripping, lots and lots of testosterone, at the diamond with a complete slew of games. With tournaments for the older two boys and my youngest proudly fulfilling his role as a “batboy” (not too far a stretch from his revered perception of a “batman”), our day was full.

Amidst the fullness, however, one significant moment stood out…

There was my interaction with the opposing coach… who when I conferred with him at the end of an inning to ensure our individual scorekeeping was in sync, he was silent about an inaccuracy in the scoring — because, as he soon acknowledged, he was “hoping you didn’t catch it.” I wondered how often are we silent… because a miscommunication benefits self. But alas, this wasn’t the moment that stood out.

There was the umpire who made an obvious wrong call, calling a ball “foul” after it touched the catcher in fair territory. He didn’t see it, but upon confrontation, he simply entertained no dissent. I saw the ball. My angle was actually clearer than his. It mattered not; as said, he entertained no dissent. How often do we simply refuse to entertain dissent or opposing viewpoints? … especially if it means being humble enough to acknowledge a mistake? Again, alas, such was not the moment that stood out.

There was also the interaction with the fans in the stands of the opposing team. Over these past dozen years, at times it’s been my privilege to coach third base. Yesterday that meant a proximity far closer to persons I knew not nor with whom I shared the same passions or loyalties. It mattered not; we were able to talk about things more important than baseball (…yes, there are things more important than baseball, sports, games, you-name-it…). Still, though, this was not the moment that stood out most to me.

For the second in our slew of games, my oldest son was on the mound. Ever since those initial, teeny tee ball days, Jake has found solace and success on the pitcher’s mound. This game, however — if lost — would be his last. (Note: church softball leagues come next.) As the tight game continued on — and as victory was in jeopardy — this moment began to stand out.

Let me first note that this is a recreational league. After years of select baseball and select, select baseball, my boy and his buddies simply decided it would be a blast to play rec after the completion of their high school season. The goal was to play hard and have fun. That, they accomplished.

But as the game continued and I was keenly aware we were nearing the end, my mind rapidly sorted through the past 18 years. I sorted through Jake’s successes… his failures… and his failures that have led to obvious growth and successes…

I thought through all the moments we cheered… and still, too, the moments we walked away… in silence, tears, even disgust.

I must say I wondered how I would feel in this moment. Would I grimace? Would I cry? How would I feel at the actual end?   Friends, I understand the tears. I get the many who find the moment — the end to a past mainstay activity as sad or bittersweet. But that wasn’t how I felt yesterday. Maybe it’s been all that’s happened in the past few months. Maybe its been the depth of our sorrow and the height of our joy. I wasn’t sad.   I see the end of Jake’s past, promising baseball career as the necessary entrance into what’s next. At 18, there is obviously so much ahead of him — for each of our youth — so many good things! Jake’s solace and success on the mound has thus helped prepare him for what’s next. My whole heart celebrates whatever that is.

Hence, as the final innings evolved and Jake was still on the mound — now going longer than expected, Jake told me he unfortunately needed to leave the game early; he had to get to work. Duty calls, as the summer before freshman year, these kids have to raise money for college. Work comes before recreational sports.

And so there Jake went, pitching through a final inning, striking out the last batter he would ever face for out number three. He walked off the mound a final time. High fives. He then left the field… and went to work.

Fitting…

Well done, son. Happy Independence Day…

Respectfully…
AR

07/02/201507/02/2015

yearning for connection

Consistent with my daily routine of scanning diverse news sources, yesterday I read an editorial in The Washington Post debating the possibility of VP Joe Biden running for President of the United States. Yes, I find it fascinating…14,000 people running for the Rep’s… one waiting to be coronated by the Dem’s… and neither scenario currently, totally appealing.

But as the editorial weighed the prospects of a Biden candidacy, I stumbled upon this huge a-ha:

“In a lot of ways, Biden would be the true anti-Hillary. He is completely uninhibited, he is impossible to script — which makes him seem authentic — and he has a human appeal that everyone can relate to. Clinton, on the other hand, is running a surreal campaign that avoids crowds, media and spontaneity of any kind. She is protecting her lead in the most standard, unimaginative way possible. Compared with Clinton’s robotic, stiff approach, could having a reputation for occasionally saying the wrong thing and hugging too much work to Biden’s advantage in an era where voters want the real thing?

The Democrats appear to be yearning for an emotional connection with their candidate, which could explain the flurry of excitement surrounding the Bernie Sanders campaign. Sen. Sanders seems to have an outsize appeal, which could be a product of how his outside-the-box approach contrasts with the stale Clinton march. But whatever Bernie can do, can’t Biden do it better? Maybe Sanders’s candidacy has exposed the opening that exists for Biden in the Democratic primary. Maybe this is Biden’s moment.”

Friends, this post is not intended to address any aspect of partisan politics — nor to again aver the Intramuralist’s stated desire for ideas fresher than those hailing from a Clinton or Bush. What fascinated me in the above editorial was this line:

“The Democrats appear to be yearning for an emotional connection with their candidate.”

Let’s remove the partisan reference…

We want an emotional connection with our candidate.

We want an emotional connection with our President.

We want an emotional connection with our celebrities, sports figures, politicians, you-name-it.

My sense is we crave connection.

Years ago I remember laughing when ABC found unique success positioning their “Bachelor/Bachelorette” series as “reality TV” [insert big grin here]. I laughed further still at the vocabulary they added to our colloquial conversation.  ..

“I still feel great about Courtney because when I’m with her, I feel really connected to her.”
“Thanks to everyone for hanging in there with me this season. We totally had a connection.”
“I truly thought we had a connection, but I never seem to be anyone’s number one.”

Connection… connection… connection. We crave emotional connection.

It’s why many appreciated Pres. Obama singing “Amazing Grace” last weekend in Charleston; many connected with him emotionally. It’s also why many have not appreciated his leadership on healthcare; he has not cared about emotionally connecting with the majority of people.
It’s why the people of Cleveland root for LeBron James — because of the emotional bond they share, as he admirably returned to the city they love. It’s the same we feel with women’s soccer and this year’s national team — connecting with them — and their patriotism, as they represent us all.
A Joe Biden candidacy? The Intramuralist isn’t here to weigh the merits of any one candidate’s qualifications; we make no endorsements. But I will say this… as a man who often puts his foot in his mouth, a man who seemingly knows how to laugh at himself, a man who has made some major mistakes, and a man who knows deep, deep, recent sorrow — on a totally, nonpartisan level, I feel like we connect.

To me, that’s important… in reality… and not reality TV.

Respectfully…
AR

06/11/2015

needing forgiveness?

Last Friday evening, 12 police officers responded to reports of a disturbance at a gathering at a community pool in McKinney, Texas. One of the officers from the Dallas suburb was caught on a cell phone video wrestling a 14-year-old girl to the ground. At one point, he pulled out his gun, after two youths had approached him near his gun.

As said by the McKinney police chief, Cpl. David Eric Casebolt’s actions “as seen on the video of the disturbance at the community pool, are indefensible. Our policies, our training and our practices do not support his actions.” Note that Casebolt is white; the teen is black; and there were no sustainable injuries. Casebolt resigned on Tuesday. His attorney acknowledged the wrongdoing and expressed his apologies.

The reaction to this case is interesting. Some have called for Casebolt to be criminally prosecuted; some have questioned why any are paying attention. Some have called on “white people” to “wake up”; still others have come to Casebolt’s entire defense. I am continually struck by persons who are stuck in a single stance — who can only see one, typically emotionally-driven perspective. There are about 3,000 angles and aspects to consider regarding this situation; it’s not a simple, sided issue.

A couple thoughts strike me immediately… (1) the video doesn’t show all that happened nor all that was said; (2) Casebolt obviously overreacted; and (3) it’s amazing the power the free promotion of a YouTube video provides.

I’m led, though, to contemplate a deeper question. Clearly, Casebolt made a signifcant mistake. What should be the consequences? Does he deserve our forgiveness? And how do forgiveness and consequences fit together? I pose these questions in light of those who believe his resignation is not enough. Many believe Casebolt should never be allowed to be rehired. By anyone. Ever.

I understand. There are times in my life where persons have wronged me — even to the point of significant physical and/or emotional harm. Does that mistake mean the person responsible should never be allowed to function in such capacity again?

I’m wondering if the more insightful (but uncomfortable) bottom line today wrestles with the appropriateness of forgiveness. How does forgiveness play itself out? Does it only go so far? Are there places where people cross a perceived line, and forgiveness is no longer an option? And then, it’s as if we demand the right not to forgive…

We demand, for example, that Ray Rice never again play in the NFL because he hit his then fiancée (now wife); he should not be forgiven and thus lose his right to play. We demand that Adrian Peterson also be banned because he used a “switch” on his son.

I know these are serious issues, but what if people are sincerely sorry? … from Rice to Casebolt to you and me? Does that mean no second chances? And yet…

Many of us quickly forgave Kobe Bryant, even though he settled out of court after sexual assault allegations against a 19 year old girl. He is still celebrated in the NBA…. many of us quickly forgave Bill Clinton, even though he has been involved in numerous incidents of infidelity. He still is celebrated by multiple, political masses.

Friends, I’m not suggesting the Intramuralist knows who is and is not deserving of forgiveness. I am noting instead that we often demand that some are not deserving, but turn around, and generously offer it to another.

My sense is that offering forgiveness is always a better approach. While forgiveness does not equate to an absence of consequence, condemnation for singular mistakes does not seem wise.

Many times I have needed forgiveness. I didn’t deserve it, but I needed it. (I knowingly needed it, in fact, just last week.) But that lack of deservingness is precisely what makes forgiveness so powerful. Only when we are aware of how much we need forgiveness — and will continue to need it — are we good at generously offering it to others. Just my two cents… ok, maybe more.

Respectfully…

03/24/201503/24/2015

arrogance vs. confidence

Arrogance or confidence — how can we tell the difference? I’ve heard some say a healthy dose of arrogance is needed. I’m not so sure. Far more valuable and necessary is a humble confidence. A humble confidence is evident in the one who never puts too much emphasis on self… who never thinks more highly of himself than he ought… and one who willingly defers to other people…

The arrogant man looks down on other people.
The confident man wants to learn from other people.

The arrogant man believes the world revolves around him.
The confident man teaches others that it does not.

The arrogant man cares more about impressing supposed superiors.
The confident man never measures the difference between superiors or the perceived below. (Note: there is no such thing as “inferior” in the confident man’s mind.)

I believe the most attractive professional, politician, and person is one who is confident — not arrogant.

So help me; is it arrogance or confidence exuding from the following?

From Mark Twain: “When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”

From Hillary Clinton just after Bill became President: “I’m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.”

From then candidate Barack Obama after winning the nomination: “I’m LeBron, baby. I can play on this level. I got game.”

Not to mention talk radio’s Rush Limbaugh in his seemingly daily proclamation: “I’m Rush Limbaugh. I have talent on loan from God.”

And from the Wall St. Journal’s Ben Cohen just this week: “It was obvious from the first day of this college-basketball season that there was one game everyone in this sport wanted to see: Kentucky vs. Duke. Now, after the first week of the NCAA tournament, this dream matchup is more than a mere possibility. It’s the likeliest national-championship game.”

Arrogance or confidence. Some say it doesn’t matter. I say it does. It gives us a window into the integrity of a person’s heart…

Arrogance is unattractive.
Confidence is attractive.

Arrogance manipulates people.
Confidence genuinely leads people.

Arrogance is fleeting.
Confidence lasts.

Hence, the question isn’t so much whether it’s arrogance or confidence that exudes from the man; the better question is: to us, does it matter?

Respectfully…

03/12/2015

who cares

So join me, if you will, in a bit of a facetious exercise…

I don’t care if Hillary Clinton used only a private, personal email server during her entire tenure as Secretary of State. I don’t care if her explanation seems muddled and her mood both calculated and cold.

What I do care about is that any person desiring to be the President of the United States be ethical, honest, and transparent. I care that their character never be in serious question.

Hence…

I don’t care if New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie (just to make sure I’m “fair and balanced,” equally picking on both parties this day) may have collaborated with staff to create rush hour traffic jams in Fort Lee, NJ as possible retribution against the borough’s mayor. I don’t care if he ordered it or was involved.

What I do care about is that any person desiring to lead others can be trusted to consistently do the right thing.

I don’t care whether former Olympic decathlete Bruce Jenner chooses “Belinda” or “Bridget” as his new transgender name. I don’t really care about keeping up with any of the Kardashians or how long any of the latest “Bachelor/Bachelorette” couples last.

What I do care about is that I don’t get lost in too much mindless TV — and confused about what actually is reality (note: “reality TV” is not reality).

I don’t care whether Pres. Obama or Congress is offended at how each interacts with the Islamic Republic of Iran (Iran’s official name). I don’t care about their ongoing political tit-for-tat — where each seems to arrogantly self-proclaim their own moral high ground but then attempts to simultaneously yank it from the other.

What I do care about is that a country with a long, dangerous, and unquestionably violent history doesn’t add nuclear weapons to their arsenal.

And I don’t care whether the evil, radical, Islamic terrorist group ISIS releases another horrendous video.

What I do care about is that the rest of us recognize and work to extinguish the evil.

One of the things impressed upon me in recent days is how vital it is to keep what’s most important, most important. We get lost in too many things. We get lost in individual passions and perspective, situations and circumstance, exuberance and emotion — each of which often then either blinds or numbs us to what’s truly most important.

When we get lost and lose sight of what’s most important, we begin to justify disrespect and other unhealthy behavior. Even the seemingly most intelligent find themselves justifying insult and arrogance; intelligence doesn’t seem to matter, as it’s not nearly as vital as wisdom.

What matters most, my friends, is what we actually care about… even if, in semi-facetious exercises.

Respectfully…

03/10/2015

hawks

Throughout the course of history, man has looked for a sign from God…

From Gideon’s thrown out fleece — multiple times — asking God to make the plan perfectly clear — to Jim Carrey crying out to Morgan Freeman’s God character in “Bruce Almighty,” asking how to make people love him — man has long cried out to God. They’ve long asked for a sign. Sometimes, however, things get in the way…

Circumstance.
Pain.
Intelligence.
Stubbornness.
Insult.
Arrogance.
Lack of submission.
Feeling of being wronged.
Need for control. .

… and so much more.

As many are painstakingly aware, I said an earthly goodbye to my young sister this weekend. It was hard. It was hard not only for me, but for my entire family… and the hundreds and hundreds and maybe even thousands of others who loved and admired this beautiful woman.

Nicole’s example has taught me more than any passion or policy or class or curriculum ever could. Her message was more poignant and powerful than any intellectual theory. Note that Nicole remained hopeful and positive as she endured some of life’s seemingly harshest circumstances. She did not waver. She did not cower. She was beautiful and unquestionably brave. Those who stood in line for hours to pay their respect knew what I knew; her message spurs us on. I desire to honor her in the way I now embrace the hope and encouragement she generously and consistently offered to others. I will be a better person because of my sister Nicole. This world is definitely in need of something better.

Driving home yesterday — the near seven hour drive from her house to mine — I had much to ponder. As I like to say, it was time to grieve and rejoice, kind of all at the same time.

But the additional reality is this is still hard — gut-wrenching, actually. Life is hard.

Hence, on the way home, something, uniquely, beautifully, special happened…

For years, my husband and I have seen the hawk as a personal sign, a sign that God is clearly present and loves us in a precious way like absolutely no other. On a good day, we might see a hawk or two. On a seven hour trip, we might see approximately seven. Yesterday, on the drive home, I said, “I know we will see more hawks today than ever before.”

We saw 50. We counted 50.

Did I say 50?

Time to grieve and rejoice all at the same time.

Respectfully…