Month: December 2025

What do we do when see life crumbling around someone near to us?

Better yet, what do we do when we see life crumbling to a public figure — to one we don’t know but in some ways, feel like we do?

Those in the sports world refocused their attention this week on who did/didn’t make the upcoming college football playoffs to instead what’s unfolding at the University of Michigan. Allow us to provide a brief, factual, albeit incomplete summary.

Head coach Sherrone Moore became the 21st head football coach in Wolverine history in January of 2024. He had been on staff since 2018, quickly rising through the ranks with prominence and success. He is 39 years old.

Last Wednesday, after only 2 seasons, Moore was abruptly fired. Said the university athletic director, Moore was “terminated, with cause, effective immediately. Following a University investigation, credible evidence was found that Coach Moore engaged in an inappropriate relationship with a staff member.”

Details of the inappropriateness have begun to emerge. The hidden romance lasted for sometime, and on Wednesday morning, the 32 year old woman Moore was involved with shared evidence of their affair with the administration, after denying such in a summer, internal investigation. Moore was terminated later that day, but responded by soon breaking into the woman’s home, allegedly threatening to harm both the woman and himself. A 911 call shared the dispatcher saying that a woman on location was “being attacked” and that the man at the location has “been stalking her for months.” Moore is married with three young children.

Moore was held for two days in police custody, now charged with home invasion, stalking, and breaking and entering. Questions about his mental health have been rampant to say the least.

So now what?

Obviously, the university has some work to do. They need to look at who knew what when in regard to Moore. They also would be wise to examine if there’s any systemic pattern behind the unfortunate, unscrupulous coaches’ behavior in their athletic department these past 3 years.

But what about us? How do we respond? How do we react, as obviously, Moore’s career/life/reputation, etc. — being the head of a major attention-receiving, status-building, revenue-producing program — has come to a demonstrably crashing halt… a halt from which he may or may not ever recover. His life as he knows it, has crumbled.

Isn’t it interesting how we respond? With more than just a healthy curiosity…

It’s fascinating in some ways… although “fascinating” does not necessarily equate to good.

Rumors abound. Judgment runs rampant. Commentary comes from all over the place.

School rivals debate deservingness. Racial advocates address from a demographic angle. A mass majority of inquisitive onlookers tune in to know what/where/and why… how absurd… and why would someone so prominent risk so much… fall so short… and forget about what’s most important. Talk about the frailty of the human condition. 

It’s hard. 

People who hate Michigan might hate him.

People who think they’re incapable of falling prey to the deceptive sin of adultery might say “go get him.”

I get all of the above. And yet I pause.

There is so much we don’t know.

And even when we know it, what good does the judgment do?

May whoever experiences such a disturbing downfall — whoever he represents — get better. Whether a coach, politician, or next door neighbor, may they get the help they need. Find a mental healthcare professional. Learn to rely on a solid, active faith. And let the rest of us stand aside, recognizing our perspective really doesn’t matter at all.

Respectfully…

AR

Recently we discussed the concept of something being a lack of rocket science, meaning it’s not all that complicated and thus not too difficult to understand. One societal attribute that isn’t rocket science is that we generally don’t like to wait; we don’t like to stand back, stay put and just patiently rest until we get what we want. We want what we want now. 

Companies have crafted whole marketing strategies on such… we pay more for Amazon Prime to get more stuff faster… Fastsigns made the trait their namesake… and Domino’s Pizza literally used to offer the “30 minutes or less or it’s free” concept until they had one too many delivery car accidents. The reality is that we don’t like to wait for what we want.

That’s part of fascinating irony of the season we’re now in. Hear me here…

Hanukkah begins on Sunday, December 14th.

Christmas comes Thursday, December 25th. 

And Three Kings’ Day (or Epiphany) falls into the new year on Tuesday, January 6th.

They are wonderful days and wonderful things to celebrate. And part of what makes them so wonderful is that we wait.

Steeped in ancient church tradition as part of the waiting is the current celebration of Advent. Originating in Europe in the 4th or 5th Century, Advent began as a season of heart preparation in the weeks leading up to Christmas.

To prepare this many days ahead of the holidays, the tradition encourages an active waiting… what is wise to do?… what can I work on? … what kinds of things are healthy to be stirring in my heart?…

Hence comes Advent…

There are four themes of these weeks: hope, peace, joy and love — obviously, good for us all regardless of where we are faith-wise…

Hope. Hope is that expectant waiting — that feeling of eagerly waiting for something to happen. It’s motivating and delightful; it so powerfully spurs people on. At Christmas, we acknowledge the waiting in need for a Savior, especially obvious in a broken world, full of chaos and heartache. For Christians, the expectation is two-fold, as we also wait for Jesus to return.

Peace. No doubt that broken world is a reality; just note all the discontent and crying out in the microcosm of social media. And while we may or may not personally be walking through a season of difficulty, we don’t always feel at peace. Yet part of what the historic scriptures teach us is that Jesus is our source of peace and is always available; we just have to look in his direction. It’s amazing how peace-giving that surrender of self can be.

Joy. There is so much to celebrate! But let’s be clear; joy is not simply a fleeting feeling of happiness. Joy is something deeper. Never-ending. My circumstances, hard as they may be, don’t have to eradicate the depth of what I feel inside. The calm. The peaceful jubilation. There is so much joy which is so obvious this season.

And love. There’s so much to say here. As we oft repeat, so much of the faith can be summed up in loving God and loving other people; that’s something we can all work on. (Who are we justifying not loving?) But the other thing that’s so key to the holidays is the focus not so much on us, on who we love and how we love, but rather, on just how incredibly much the great big God of the universe loves us. That’s immense. And cannot be overstated. Sitting with that may be my favorite seasonal activity.

Thus when I ponder all the things in my life — and all the things I never have to wait for — I find myself thankful that this Hanukkah and Christmas season, in the days before the holidays, we have opportunity to work on something deeper, something healthier, something more. 

So grateful for the time.

So glad to have to wait.

Respectfully…

AR

“Making movies” says Julia Roberts.

“Makeup” says Cindy Crawford. 

Guns N’ Roses drummer Steven Adler says “rock and roll”… former North Dakota Sen. Byron Morgan, not permitting drinking and driving… Dave Ramsey, “personal finance”… personal trainer Bob Harper, “weight loss”… Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff co-author Kristine Carlson, “having a great marriage”… and marketing professional Donny Deutsch, “being a businessman.”

All of the above are things the opinion staters believe not to be rocket science. 

I’ve kind of always loved that idiom. The idea that “it’s not rocket science” means that something is not all that hard to understand. Some things take work and consistent effort, but for the most part, they’re fairly straightforward.

For example, for me, it’s not rocket science that we’re called to be kind to people.

It’s not rocket science that wisdom warrants we respect the holders of opposing opinion.

And it’s not rocket science that not everyone’s a sports fan.

One more in my voluminous rocketry category is that it’s not rocket science that social media is not all good. In fact, many times it’s not good at all.

Refrain, please, from the suggestion that this semi-humble blogger is some sort of Negative Nelly, being overly critical and only seeing the downside… Facebook keeps me in touch with all my forty plus year old friends. Instagram shows me your latest vacation sunset. And TikTok provides me with the oh-so-necessary, latest catchy dances.

But (and that’s a big but)… 

As most of us know, multiple studies have concluded that social media usage has been linked to increased anxiety, depression, loneliness, envy and poor self-esteem. Comparison is rampant — and way too often a determiner of self-worth.

It can be a platform for harassment and/or bullying. 

It can rapidly spread false and/or misleading information.

And in one relevant pet peeve, it can convince grown adults that one or two sentences qualifies as respectful dialogue or relationship.

Obviously aware of this lack of rocket science, effective this coming week, Australia has mandated that 16 be the minimum age for all accounts on YouTube, X, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, Reddit, Twitch, Threads and Kick. Serious about this chance, tech companies that own these platforms could face fines of up to $50 million if they don’t take reasonable steps to stop under-16s from having accounts. Australia has realized social media is not all good.

No doubt there will be a mixed reaction to the ban on younger teens and adolescents. No doubt, too, that with the prominence of fake IDs, etc., many will find a way to bypass the legal restriction. It is expected and acknowledged that the implementation of the ban will be imperfect.

So what will happen next? 

Will the critics along with the imperfections make the ban futile?

Or will the rest of the watching world follow suit?

Lastly, what will the lack of rocket science impel?

Respectfully…

AR

I feel like we struggle with how to respond to the refugee, especially when we consider individual vs. collective response. Change the word “respond” if you wish — to handle, care for, whatever-word-makes-sense-to-you-here. But I’m not certain we always know what’s wisest and best.

Allow us first, for clarity and communication purposes, to define some terms and add context…

A “refugee” is a person who has fled their home country. To be clear, it’s not just a person who has fled; they are a person who has been forced to flee due to a well-founded fear of persecution. This persecution may be based on their religion, ethnicity, political opinion or more. They have crossed an international border and cannot return because their life or freedom is in danger. 

Another key person is an “immigrant.” An immigrant is a person who has moved to a country other than their birth country with the intention of living there permanently. Note they have not been forced. 

There is also the “migrant.” A “migrant” describes a person who moves from place to place, but has yet to reach a final destination.

Much of the wisdom in responding to the refugee is embedded in Judeo-Christian principles. Granted, the Bible never uses the word “refugee,” but it repeatedly calls for the compassionate treatment of “strangers,” “foreigners” and “sojourners.” Adding to our context, “strangers” are persons we do not know, “foreigners” are persons not belonging to a particular group, and “sojourners” are people staying somewhere temporarily. We are called to never oppress the above trio, meaning we are not to keep others in subservience, especially via the unjust exercise of authority.  As with all people, we are called to love them as we love ourselves. So much of Judeo-Christian ethics are summed up in this — in loving God and loving others.

And so we look at the wisest way to respond to the refugee…

My sense is we are to respond with compassion. We are to be generous in hospitality. We can offer practical care. And we are to be motivated by love — not fear. Too often I think we are sadly instead motivated by fear.

When I wrestle with the why, my sense is that in both our individual and collective responses, we’ve mixed up the varied roles defined above; it’s not easy to treat all people the same for precisely the reason that all people are not the same. Not every stranger, foreigner or sojourner who enters this country is forced. Not every stranger, foreigner or sojourner who leaves their nation of birth would be persecuted if they one day returned home. And certainly for those who’ve come from a country known to be hostile to this land of the free and home of the brave, should they come with a desire to still adhere to said hostility, they do not qualify as one in need of compassion, ignoring their animus bent.

Isn’t that the issue?

So often in order to remain firm in our stance, we negate the inconvenient; we minimize the part that dilutes the passion in our response. We ignore the angle that makes our perspective a little less penetrable.

Name your issue. Pick your point. What aspect are we underestimating?

Not all immigrants are refugees. Not all self-identified refugees have been forced to leave their country. Some who have entered America need our help; they need we the people to help them secure liberty and ensure domestic tranquility. Others have entered America who don’t need our help, but want the entitlements and benefits; there exist ways to work for such honorably. And there are still more, unfortunately wickedly, who are here to harm.

It’s logical, therefore, to conclude that a one-size-fits-all collective, government approach is likely to be grossly ineffective. It’s not that easy — letting all in or keeping all out.

Hence, I find it wise for our response to the refugee, immigrant and even our next door neighbor to be based more on Judeo-Christian principle as opposed to any partisan policy. 

Respectfully… humbly, too…

AR