Years ago I had a friend who was hosting a frolicking trip south for a limited number of couple friends. The weekend was to be epic — full of all sorts of fun, intentional festivity, flowing food and drink. Something about the allure of South Beach made it extra enticing. It was indeed going to be wonderful.
I showed up at her house when she was packing the day before, wanting to add some extras to her bag, adding to the weekend festivities. I was so excited to celebrate with her. Let me also be clear: my spouse and I were not invited.
Such was a really good lesson for me…
Did I wish to go on the trip, too?
Indeed!
Could I have made all the logistics work?
Totally.
But was it ok to not be invited?
Absolutely.
Hear me out here…
One of the things I think our culture is not especially good at is celebrating other people and other people’s good fortune. Too often we look at the success, blessing, and/or prosperousness of another and think that’s not fair… they don’t deserve it… or… some of that should be mine…
And if we’re not included in the good fortune of the other, we lead with judgment, jealousy or our own self-entitlement. That clearly is so not so good and right and true. It’s not healthy nor virtuous either.
One of the healthiest things adulthood has taught me is to celebrate the wins of other people.
Hear, no less, the words of Jerry Hayden, a professional team builder and problem solver, who echoed my learnings on LinkedIn this past winter:
“As leaders, professionals, and individuals striving to reach our own goals, we often get caught up in the hustle of our personal achievements. The next milestone, the next deal, the next promotion – these are the things that keep us focused, moving forward, and striving for success. But if we step back for a moment and think about what true success looks like, one of the most powerful markers isn’t just about what we accomplish ourselves. It’s about how we celebrate and support the wins of others.
In a world that often emphasizes competition, it can feel challenging to genuinely cheer for others’ victories. We may worry that someone else’s success diminishes our own, or that we’ll somehow be left behind. But this mindset is not only limiting – it’s also counterproductive. The ability to celebrate other people’s success isn’t a sign of weakness or insecurity; it’s a sign of strength, wisdom, and emotional intelligence. It’s also a mark of true leadership.” (Emphasis mine.)
As we continue to tiptoe through a culture in which equity and equality are routinely confused for one another, it would indeed seem wise if we could first learn to pause and genuinely celebrate the good fortune of another for what it actually is: theirs. It is no less good fortune even though it is not mine.
As Hayden concludes, “In the end, life isn’t just about individual triumphs – it’s about the collective growth we experience when we celebrate each other’s wins.”
Cheers, friends. Here’s to one another.
Respectfully…
AR