There are a lot of things I believe but don’t always say.
For example, I’m a big believer in the First Amendment — in the essential freedoms each of us has to speak our mind, practice our faith, gather peacefully, report independently, and hold government accountable.
I struggle with our Presidents and also the elect, especially when their leadership has been marked by erraticism, narcissism, partisanship, and/or lack of mental acuity.
I believe government is too big, too expensive, and significantly inefficient. Too often, it attempts to do things it was never designed to do. I believe, too, government is incapable of being the moral authority of the land.
And I believe loudly and clearly that no one is anyone else’s Holy Spirit. There’s only one of those, and we’re not it. That means it’s not our job to convict someone else of what is good, right, and true.
Let me be clear: I believe each of the above passionately, strongly, and deeply.
I am a fan, too, of the late Sen. Howard Baker and his keen, lasting wisdom.
Known as the “Great Conciliator,” Baker was deeply respected across party lines for his integrity, humility, and willingness to listen well. Part of that humility was captured in a phrase he oft repeated: “You know — the other fellow might be right.”
In other words: “I might be wrong.”
I have no doubt that some of my opinions are wrong. I’m certain there are issues and areas where I’m wrong and have absolutely no clue. And there have been multiple conversations and exchanges of ideas over time that have notably changed my perspective.
But there are also places where I have not changed. There’s a reason for that.
It lies in the difference between argument and persuasion.
An argument is an exchange of opposing views that often becomes heated. Worse, it usually becomes personal. We insult the person who thinks differently than we do, assuming the only reason they disagree is because they are ignorant, foolish, blind, or malicious.
Persuasion is different.
Persuasion actually moves someone toward a different belief or understanding, usually through reasoning, relationship, patience, and sustained trust. Consistent with my earlier point, persuasion is not playing the Holy Spirit in someone else’s life. It’s not forcing conviction upon them. It’s engaging in an honest exchange of ideas in a way that genuinely allows another person to consider their perspective.
Arguments rarely produce anything lasting. Persuasion often does. And the difference between the two is rooted in humility.
Rarely is my perspective changed by the argument of another. Often, though, it is changed by the humility of another.
Baker spoke often about humility, especially in how we listen and communicate. It’s not merely that another person feels heard; it’s that they actually are heard.
Want people to think more like you? I understand that. What we believe, we oft believe strongly.
But if I truly want my perspective to resonate with others, it’s not merely my arguments or talking points that need refining. It’s the humility within my own heart. That’s what people find convincing. That’s what people find attractive.
Respectfully…
AR