‘Tis rare we begin a post with a prayer, but I continue to be unable to shake the profound, contemporary relevance…
Lord, forgive me for so often being forgetful of your goodness, for acting as if I deserve anything more or different than what I have received…
It persists in plaguing me that we don’t live in a “have/have not” society. We simply live amid the “have not’s.” Regardless of stuff, status, wealth, or wonder, we continually compare ourselves to others, focused on what we “have not.” We focus more on what we don’t have, than on how each of us has been blessed.
I understand the admirable ambition in being aware of what we don’t have and working toward that goal; such ambition seems zapped, no less, when instead of embracing the process of attainment, the pursuit is exchanged for feelings of entitlement — feeling that stuff or status is deserved. The feeling only comes from a comparison of others… and its passion expands as we focus on the have not.
According to Gregg Easterbrook’s The Progress Paradox: How Life Gets Better While People Feel Worse:
- Since 1960, real per-capita income has doubled.
- Over the past century, life expectancy has doubled.
- Since World War II, the average size of a new American home has doubled.
- Also, the average Westerner is more prosperous than 99.4% of everyone who’s ever lived.
We are blessed with circumstances and stuff. And yet, the number of Americans who describe themselves as “happy” is no higher today than in the 50’s.
Friends, there is no magic pill. There is no magic policy. There is no magic that makes everyone suddenly feel better when the pill, policy, or rhetorical promise is rooted in comparison of someone else. Comparison only pits people against each other; it does not satisfy the soul.
As acknowledged recently, my son’s show choir group of 50-some talented teens performed in a highly competitive contest over the weekend. They faced several nationally recognized groups, not knowing where they would stand at day’s end. When the entertaining day ended — out of a total of 500+ points — my son’s group was named 1st Runner Up — by only 4 points. They almost won! In our “have not society,” there’s a problem, though. Too many of us — and too many will teach our kids — to focus on those 4 points. Focusing on those points — on the “have not’s” — keeps us oblivious to the blessing.
On a related tangent… my family also recently travelled to an NBA game. As our family of 5 strode to our seats, my youngest son (whose special needs have been previously shared) was suddenly, completely paralyzed with fear by the excessive stimulation of the environment and the height of our seats. For lack of better words, he freaked out, throwing his body on the ground in the middle of a crowded walkway. There was nothing I could do or say to ease his legitimate, yet irrational fear. And so we paid $40/50 each to instead sit in the corridor outside the arena. We didn’t see the game.
Near the end of regulation, some sort of internal switch went off in my sweet son’s head. With zero prompting, he made a proclamation: “I’ll be brave. I don’t want to spoil your fun. Let’s go.” And on that note we headed to our seats. Yes, with 3 minutes left in the 48 minute game.
With 8 seconds left, my hometown favorites hit the shot that sent the game into overtime. Excellent! I was so thankful! Yes, instead of focusing on the 45 minutes I missed, I was thankful to have an extra 5. That was a blessing.
Respectfully,
AR