I had another “a-ha” moment last week — one of those things you believe really should have been learned in kindergarden or at least somewhere along the way — one of those learnings that even the most educated among us seem to neglect…
I stumbled upon life’s arguably, most omitted word… an unusually small word, but a word so powerful it changes perception… a word when included, it actually alters the meaning of the message.
I’ll be honest (as if I’m sometimes not)… omission of the word is easier; to include even its mere two letters — a single vowel accompanied by a consonant — means having to acknowledge “life’s gray.” In other words, life’s a little easier when we dabble in black and white, resolutely asserting opinion — ardently proclaiming “this is true” and “this is not” — never having to wrestle with the possibility that a scenario may be different than we perceive it… never having to consider that we may not have all the information… and never having to contemplate that our perspective may be misguided or the depth of our passion unsubstantiated.
The word is simple: “IF.”
If.
“If” changes the meaning. Allow me to demonstrate, utilizing a masculine pronoun for rhetorically simple purposes this day…
If he is guilty…
If he is innocent…
If he is racist…
If he is a bigot…
If he is a homophobe…
If he is any kind of “phobe”…
If he is ignorant…
If he doesn’t understand…
If he doesn’t care…
If he doesn’t know…
Instead, in our incredibly convenient, “black and white” world, we far too frequently assert:
He is guilty.
He is innocent.
He is racist.
He is a bigot.
He is a homophobe.
He is some kind of “phobe.”
He is ignorant.
He doesn’t understand.
He doesn’t care.
And he doesn’t know.
It makes life easier when we can omit the “if”… perhaps omitting the “and’s” and “but’s,” too. But once again, life being easier does equate to the manifestation of wisdom. Living in a black and white world means never growing from the reality that we are sometimes “off” in our opinion and perspective. Even the most educated and intelligent are sometimes off; the passionate are off. We are off.
We would be wise to refrain from omission. If only the world was so wise…
Respectfully…
AR