I had opportunity this past weekend to sit down with a small group of high school girls — primarily seniors. Any time such a favorable moment arises, I feel adults should embrace it… not simply because of what we can teach them — but also because of what they can teach us. The younger generation has so much to offer.
This weekend these budding young women wanted to talk about feminism… great topic! They knew much; they were well versed. They were passionate and feisty and knowledgeable and humble and discerning all at the same time. Here was a group of young women — most of whom are about to embark on a brand new adventure come fall — and they are so desiring to figure life out (… I love it… granted, I omitted that the rest of us are still working on that figuring-life-out thing…).
They started by defining what they thought feminism is…
“Equal rights… equal rights for men and women… Equal value… no one is lesser or more… Everyone doesn’t have the same talents, but no woman’s talent is any lesser than a man’s… No one is lesser; no one is over anybody else.”
Most chimed in quickly; few conversational prompts were necessary. It was an energetic, lively discussion. When a slight pause ensued, another passionate gal — this one slightly meeker, however — boldly piped in: “I think that’s what feminism should be, but it’s not.”
I love it… I love how the teenage brain thinks. Ok, so just to be clear… I’m not affirming the days dirty clothes have strung across seemingly every inch of my oldest son’s bedroom — nor am I advocating any of the hygiene habits that at times borderline a bit on the obsessive-compulsive; but I love how the teenage mind thinks. There is so much to figure out — so much they don’t know; and they feel the freedom to think and wonder and wrestle, recognizing they have their whole life ahead of them. They don’t know it all… even when they act like they do.
So if that’s not what feminism is, what exactly is it?
Over the course of our evening together, we spoke of how so many only elevate themselves by stepping on someone else… how wise. For example… how the key to women’s success is that men must understand… the key to the racial divide is for white people to know — for black people to know… the key to any ethnic, gender, or cultural difference is for someone else to step aside. Notice how the supposed “key” is always focused on someone else?
What I loved about my time with these precious young women is that their focus wasn’t deferred to anyone else…
- What do I think?
- What can I do?
- How can I value all people?
- How can I respond in a wise fashion?
And our bottom line question: how can I support equality of any kind, if equality and value involve the lessening of someone else in the process?
Great question. Did I mention I love how teenagers think?
Respectfully…
AR