I will never forget that first official, performance review. As a rising, white collar professional with a great job and greater expectations, fresh out of college and ready to roll, it was finally time for my superiors to tell me how wonderful I was. 🙂 Yes, there are times we believe we have the world at our feet — and even more times when we need to be humbled (…uh, always and still…).
Truth told, my review was wonderful. On a scale of 1-5 with “1” being excellent, “3” being average, and “5” being the area in need of greatest improvement, of the 12 specific categories, I received all “1’s” and “2’s”… except for one. In a single category, I received a “3.” I was deemed “average” in one category.
Hence, being the ever mature, twenty-something that I was, I did the obvious, most seemingly honorable thing to do at the time: I pounced on the “3.” I challenged the authorities above me — not for the rave review just assessed — but rather, for the audacity of someone awarding me with a stinkin’ “3.”
Challenging authority is hard. Challenging it respectfully is harder.
Let me add one more “hard”: responding to a challenge respectfully is equally difficult.
Authority relationships exist in most life scenarios… in our homes, hobbies, associations, clubs, churches, government, etc. Authority exists in all of the above. In most organizations, there are persons bestowed with the responsibility of making decisions on behalf of other people. So how do we handle it when we legitimately, passionately disagree with some of the decision-making?
This past week, I’ve witnessed multiple, reactionary manifestations when authority has been challenged. Some reactions have been especially eye-opening…
- The authority quickly attempting to sully the reputation of the challenger — as opposed to humbly weighing the worthiness of the objection.
- Supporters of the authority jumping immediately to defend him or her — as opposed to thoughtfully weighing any critique.
- The authority, challengers, and supporters of both engaging in instant ad hominem attacks — steadfastly attempting to turn attention elsewhere — as opposed to dealing with the root issue — and the issue that’s most current.
I’ve also watched…
- One side call the other “ignorant.”
- One side call the other “idiot.”
- Another suggesting one belongs in a “cult.”
- And still more rhetorically attacking what I term our “reputation jugular.”
Both sides feel justified in calling the other names and in all sincerity, utilizing despicable, disrespectful adjectives. Also, intelligence doesn’t always diffuse the disrespect; it typically only makes the disrespectful descriptions sound better.
Let’s be clear: authority can and should be respectfully questioned. No man nor human institution has life all figured out, so no man nor human institution is incapable of error. But it’s difficult to navigate through the challenging-of-authority process when other factors are in play. For example…
- Listening well to other points of view is rare…
- The sense of decorum is long gone….
- Self-focus is often rampant…
- None of us especially like criticism… and…
- Social media has made the process worse (…did I say “far worse”?).
It’s ok to question authority if solution is the goal. It’s equally ok to push back on the questioner as long as one listens first, weighs the opinion, and is completely humble in response. There is no place for arrogance permeating any part of the process… even…yes… for a white collar professional with a great job, fresh out of college, who thought they were wonderful at the time.
Respectfully…
AR