As the final seconds ticked away and the buzzer sounded, a collective “crumple” could be heard from coast to coast. The crumple sound was that of brackets busted. Every March basketball fans both diehard and novice fill out their brackets in hopes of selection swag and bragging rights. Crumpled up paper aside, there is something joyful about a low seed defeating a top seed at the big dance.
Is it petty envy? Perhaps. Or is it our desire to root for and witness the success of the often overlooked underdogs? No doubt, it is a bit of both. Jealously of others and joy for others are both components inherent in human nature.
The seeding isn’t exclusive to March Madness. It is a ubiquitous part of our culture, particularly in the halls of high school. A lot of teens are grateful to survive high school with little drama. It is to be expected and part of the dance. But it is with an incredulous sadness to watch kids be categorized and put into brackets based on talent, looks, academics, athleticism and economics.
This bracketology became apparent when mentoring a young person several years ago. A very bright and socially awkward high school student to whom first bell through the ringing of the last bell was a daily torment. A lot of defenses (some not so positive) were built up. This student was a dealt a “low seed” by the self-appointed selection committee roaming the halls and cafeteria. Their bracket was even worse than “overlooked”; it was “undesirable.” Using coping strategies helped ease the challenging years. What was truly reassuring and exciting was the hope that in post high school and/or college, they would find their group of friends without the social mores of high school dictating their seed. Post high school/college begins a new chapter with a clean slate. As a young adult, this person flourished in college, joining organizations of their choice and embracing friendships and fun. Although a very challenging and desirable degree was earned, they were sad to leave college where they created their own identity.
Not only can the anxiety of the school day plague many young people, they are also faced with the scrutiny of well-intentioned parents. These high school brackets bare some self- examination by parents as well. All too often, we find ourselves trying to oversee the selection committee, whether it be for protection, well-being or even to live vicariously for their own “selection swag.” Are parents interfering their child’s independence and interests so they can have an acceptable seeding? Does this higher seed give them more happiness or pressure? It is their duty and prudent to protect them from harmful influences. Do they take it too far by directing their homecoming dance groups? Does a child being in a desirable bracket make the parents a higher seed? Do parents impede their child’s independence? All motivations included, it is difficult to know the right answer.
Ironically, it is often the overlooked seeds who soar after high school. They have already played in a tough game environment and are well equipped to take on a new road to the big dance. They don’t have to rely on their past bracket to define them. It’s a clean slate and they chart their X’s and O’s. In high school one’s friends are friends largely by circumstance — in college one’s friends are friends by choice. It is beyond the halls and cafeteria when all the brackets get crumpled. It is a time for the underdogs to dance.
Respectfully…
CK