“conduct issues”

On a recent trip out West, we took time out for a baseball game at Chase Field in Phoenix, Arizona. It was a fun game, with the local taco joint promising the tortilla treat to all in attendance if the Diamondbacks scored at least five or six runs.

There were multiple non-sports aspects that got my attention that night — aspects other than the enthusiastic taco pursuit. It was bobblehead night… and a not-so-nice fan actually stole two of our bobbleheads (… yes, sin does exist on this planet). There was also a 9 year old birthday boy, who after ardently advertising his special day, had a ball thrown to him in the stands. His glee was immediately obvious… that is… until he dropped it.

Still, though, another aspect prompted a blog-worthy thought. It was a simple announcement — probably one comparable to messages shared across the country in our stadiums, arenas, and other mass venues — perhaps it oft goes unnoticed. On the large screen, they announced:

“REPORT GUEST CONDUCT ISSUES BY TEXTING:
DBACKS <space> LOCATION and ISSUE TO 69050.”

Simple, I know. 

Ordinary, I know.

Makes total sense.

And then it donned on me…

I understand the idea that in the setting of a game, concert, etc., that designated officials would be responsible for attending to guest conduct issues. The audience is there to enjoy the activity for which they gathered; others are taking away from that enjoyment. My sense, though, is that we often take this too far… when we get outside the venue. Notice what’s happening in our our own, small circles…

We all witness “conduct issues” — people behaving in ways that we deem disturbing, disrespectful, and/or odd.

My parents and role models instilled in me years ago that the most effective means of curbing inappropriate behavior was to go straight to the source. Go to the person. Point out the fault. Just between the two of you.

If they listen to you, you have won them over. They still feel respected because you care enough to talk to them one-on-one. You have thus positively influenced their conduct and potentially curbed future behavior. If they don’t listen — and it’s clear the behavior is inappropriate — that’s when you get others involved. That’s when you “text 69050,” so-to-speak.

What makes this a blog-worthy thought, no less, is the realization that we tend to skip a lot of these steps. If we see disturbing, disrespectful, or odd behavior, rarely do we go to the “disturber” first. We often first go to the likeminded, finding ammunition in their knowingly-biased support… and then we’re really good at making passive-aggressive comments on Facebook and elsewhere.

You know what I’m talking about… those indirect expressions of hostility. They may be cleverly worded; they may be witty and make the rest of us laugh out loud. And the slam at the other’s oddness or character sometimes even makes us feel better. Yes, the social media shouting lets the world know of our offense and disgust!

However… it avoids going to the person first.

And going to the person first, one-on-one, respectfully, is what best has the potential to curb the behavior…

Respectfully…
AR