learning from more than the likeminded

photo-1429051883746-afd9d56fbdafPrevious to these past 10 days and the excellent ensuing, daily dialogue, we heard the respectfully-articulated insights and perspectives from persons other than me in our annual summer Guest Writers Series. (P.S. I thought it was great!) Thank you, friends, for writing and listening. I have learned from you!

I believe that we grow when we are willing to listen and dialogue regarding diverse perspective. Far too many are only able to converse with the likeminded. Hence, we end up with a lot of really smart people — who are still very blind. They never allow their mind to be altered from where it is right now. They still may be smart, but their pursuit of wisdom is sadly, severely hampered.

 In the weeks I was away, I pondered the thoughts of our guest writers… Like you, I listened and learned. Like you, I often read certain portions of posts twice. Like you, I didn’t necessarily agree with every opinion embedded, but also like you, I desire to be stretched and challenged. Agreement and consensus are secondary to active listening.

Here were some of the articulations that struck me most from our summer series:

“If you don’t like the law, elect different representatives, and they can pass new laws. That’s democracy.”

“Think again about who you would want to speak at your funeral. What do you want them to say?”

“During those formative years when we were transitioning from girlhood to womanhood, our society and media wasn’t telling us that our physically displays of affection with our peers had sexual connotations. We were free to hug, touch, and run arm and arm. We were free to accept each other no matter how we were made. We learned how to be good friends, strong and reliable, and that love had very little to do with sex, but with our willingness to be there for one another.”

“What is best in a society: personal freedom to choose no matter the consequences or personal freedom to choose with possible financial penalty if you choose the socially-selfish option? Perhaps a mix of the two is best.”

“I will give examples of ‘dignity squashers’ first — then move on to the ‘dignity encouragers.’ Let me give the exact definition of dignity so we’re on the same page. Dignity is pride in oneself, self-respect, self-worth. By not teaching our children life skills that evoke dignity, we as parents are setting them up to fail.”

“What we should do instead is develop a ‘live and let live’ legal framework.”

“Ironically, it is often the overlooked seeds who soar after high school. They have already played in a tough game environment and are well equipped to take on a new road to the big dance. They don’t have to rely on their past bracket to define them. It’s a clean slate and they chart their X’s and O’s.”

“A favorite tactic in today’s debates over anything controversial is to question your right to hold a belief, or to label your opinion itself as ‘bigoted’.”

“How many of us will let our passion trump our reason? How many of us will lose friendships over words we type on our keyboards? Think about that before you hit post. Maybe you think it doesn’t matter, that if someone disagrees with your opinion you are better off without their friendship. But what about their respect? When did we become a country where people either agree with you or they are wrong?”

“Do you want to be right or do you want to be righteous? Do we always have to be right? … or will we allow for our character to be carved and to grow?”

[And quite possibly, my personal favorite…]

“I listen to the music now… with tears, for she taught me so much more than I ever taught her.”

There is so much we can learn when we shelve our deeply entrenched stances — and actually listen to other people, too.

So thankful to be back… cheers, too, to each of our guest writers…

Respectfully…
AR

perceptions

photo-1438503733096-e5c5560f05edAs most of you know, we have been wrestling with some tough issues here. Thank you. I have always said there is no topic the Intramuralist will intentionally avoid. Some topics are tougher than others to discuss — some will have far less consensus and prompt many more angles and tangents and potentially messy opinions — but we won’t shy away. As long as we are respectful — as long as we are willing to articulate thought and opinion in way that is sensitive to those who may not agree — we can talk about all things. I believe learning to talk about all things is key to making progress and crafting solution.

One of my greatest gripes about Washington (and wherever), in fact, is that we make so little progress together; we are not unified. Why? Because instead of learning to humbly listen and speak respectfully — in a way that makes us actually want to work together — we simply justify shouting louder. Note to all: that never works.

Hence, returning briefly to Tuesday’s topic surrounding the #BlackLivesMatter movement, I found the ensuing discussion incredibly insightful and thought-provoking… that is… for those who were willing to soberly listen and consider all that was said.

Later that day I engaged in another conversation regarding a transgender teen, at the heart of a controversy in Missouri. The teen desires to use the high school girls’ bathroom even though he is physiologically still male. Again, this is a tough topic to be sensitive to all people and perspectives. It’s often tough to have empathy for people who think different than “we” or “me.”

So as I wrestled with what is good and true and right, I began to think about the whole idea of “lives mattering” — a beautiful concept, no doubt, as we are each uniquely and wonderfully made.

Is our challenge that in all of our life mattering issues, there exists at least a perception (not necessarily a reality) that one life is more valuable than another?

Hear me here; there is zero harshness in my voice. I am attempting to process this together…

At the heart of the #BlackLivesMatter movement, is there a general perception in those genuinely advocating, that the lives of white people mean more — hence the motivation for the movement?

Regarding the accompanying mantra that cops’ lives matter — is there a perception that cops’ lives don’t matter as much as the grass roots’ movement?

Let’s extend this further…

In regard to the disabled — an issue near and dear to my heart — is there a perception that the life of a special needs individual is less valued and/or capable of contributing to our society?

And to the elderly, because they are old, are they perceived to have any less to give?

What about the delicate issue dealing with the unborn — is there a perception that the baby’s life is less valuable than the mother’s?

Or regarding that mother — is there a perception that her life matters less?

Friends, I am not attempting to set off any fresh, new hot button. I desire to wrestle with all that is good and true and right. And as I hear you and your many diverse, excellent insights, I wonder if there are multiple perceptions surrounding the quality of life that some of us — perhaps none of us — totally get. I appreciated, for example, the comment of a friend who respectfully offered that in regard to #BlackLivesMatter, there are some aspects white people simply don’t comprehend; just as when we consider the increasing violence against police, there are some aspects that those so emotionally entwined in the Black Lives movement also miss.

I wonder: is there some separate aspect of empathy each of us is missing when it comes to black lives, cops, the disabled, elderly, unborn, transgender, etc. etc. etc.?

What are we missing? What perceptions may be slightly skewed?

And can we… can we talk about it?

Respectfully…
AR

everyone counts

Unknown

(Next in my series of observations while away last month…)

Roll up your sleeves. Take off those partisan hats. Exhale any opinion ready to pounce. Let’s talk about what we’ve observed regarding #BlackLivesMatter.

Originating in the wake of the acquittal of George Zimmerman in 2013, the #BlackLivesMatter movement campaigns against perceived police brutality in the United States. Note that according to Wikipedia and The Daily Beast, the movement is reportedly a decentralized network, with no formal hierarchy or structure in place. As summer has progressed, we have seemingly still witnessed an uptick in activity.

Many have felt oppressed. Many are frustrated. Many have experienced grievous injustice. Many cry out. At the very least, they/we deserve to be heard.

The danger for any of us, friends, based on our own experience and the depth of our individual passions, is when we conclude that we deserve to be heard more than anyone else — that it’s completely acceptable for us to drown out all other voices… all other perspectives… be rude, disrespectful, you-name-it.

In Houston, Texas last Friday night, 47 year old policeman Darren Goforth was off duty but still in uniform. He was innocently pumping gas at a Chevron station in a northwest suburb. A young African-American male came up and shot him from behind — with no known provocation — killing the officer — also, gut-wrenchingly, continuing to fire even after Goforth had fallen to the ground.

Ironically, planned ahead of time — and unrelated to Goforth’s murder — the very next day, 350-500 #BlackLivesMatter protesters shut down multiple entrances to the Minnesota State Fair. While their stated aim in this instance was to draw more attention to economic and social disparities, many of the activists still chanted, “Pigs in a blanket, fry ’em like bacon” — all while receiving a police escort for their protection.

Protests in Minnesota. A murder in Texas. Unrelated. But what can we observe?

On Saturday, in response to the death of his deputy, Sheriff Ron Hickman explained that investigators currently believe a “dangerous national rhetoric” against police officers led to the seemingly unprovoked attack. Hickman then, soberly added this:

“We’ve heard ‘black lives matter’ — ‘all lives matter.’ Well, cops’ lives matter, too. So why don’t we drop the qualifier and just say: Lives Matter. And take that to the bank.”

The reality is that all lives really do matter. If we’re all created equal, then yes, we all matter… black lives matter… white lives matter… cops’ lives matter… Hispanic lives matter… Muslim lives matter… evangelical Christian lives matter… Jewish lives matter… women’s lives matter… men’s lives matter… gay lives matter… elderly lives matter… babies’ lives matter… transgender lives matter… special needs’ lives matter… young lives matter… deaf lives matter… lives matter. Period.

Hence, from my observations — politically incorrect as they may or may not be — when we’re at the point where we can only acknowledge that one (or some) of the above lives matter — when we are no longer listening to any reasoning other than our own — we are then missing a vital, dire aspect of wisdom. A society that is unable to admit that all lives matter is a society that will forever suffer from oppression and inequality — as individual people groups only advocate for their own.

I think of my oldest son. Recently, he trekked off for his freshman year of college (yes, more observations coming here quite soon). He, no less, by all accounts, is quite proud to now be a Florida Gator (…insert appropriate chomping sound here…). 

I’m reminded even more of the University of Florida’s extensive, summer orientation — an informative, encouraging time when one of their programs was arguably emphasized above all others: “U Matter, We Care.”

Instead of the focus being on how much “I” matter, the university boldly proclaims how they care for all people; they know that everyone counts.

There’s a beauty and freedom in acknowledging all who count. If only we knew… and only believed…

Respectfully…
AR

the rise of trump

Donald_Trump_by_Gage_Skidmore
During our excellent, annual Guest Writer Series (a topic upon which I will soon more reflect), I made multiple observations. In all honesty, such is one of my favorite things to do — sit back, be silent, just watch and learn. Too many seem to fill their surrounding air time most with the sound of their own voice. It’s often far more fun (and uh, wise) to be intentional in our observations.

Hence, one of my observations comes in the political arena… yes, I speak of the controversial, mind-boggling, oft-fascinating, to-some-infuriating, at-times-funny, rise of Donald Trump. Donald Trump is a serious candidate for President of the United States in 2016.

Ok, first things first. Take a deep breath. Take off your partisan hats. This is not an endorsement nor any show of opposition or support. We are making observations. We are simply attempting to watch what’s happening and examine potentially why. There is very little emotion embedded in the process of making observations.

Over the past month, we have observed the following:

  • Donald Trump’s support increasing.
  • Hillary Clinton’s support decreasing.
  • Growing interest in candidates Carson, Fiorina, Kasich, and Sanders.

In a head-to-head match-up (which — by the way — is way too early), in June, Clinton held a 24% lead over Trump; now, it’s less than 6% (per CNN).

So back to our observations. Why the attraction to Trump? I understand that many of us are not attracted to him, but the reality is that many people are; that’s what I’m attempting to observe. Here is a man, with all due respect, who has made some preposterous statements. He has been rude. He has flip-flopped. He has evolved. Sometimes I question his comprehension of the Constitution. He comes off as incredibly arrogant, and without a doubt, he really seems to like the sound of his own voice. And yet, for some reason, he has been surging. The media has been eating it up. What is it about Donald Trump?

There is one trait Trump exhibits as a potential President, that this country has not seen consistently manifest for over two decades. Note the following:

  • While in the White House, Bill Clinton’s grand jury comments about his behavior with women damaged his credibility with many.
  • While in the White House, George W. Bush’s stated motives for pursuing Saddam Hussein damaged his credibility with many.
  • Still in the White House, Barack Obama’s multiple misstatements about ObamaCare damaged his credibility with many.

My point is that whether we agreed or disagreed with the motives of the man in the office, we have had valid reason to believe whether or not the sitting President of the United States was telling the truth. Are they being honest with us? Or are they assuming we are stupid and/or undiscerning of what they really think and mean?

Enter Hillary Clinton — a candidate with a reasonable resume to run for the highest office in the land; she has extensive political, legal, and foreign policy experience (although personally, I’m thinking we need fewer lawyers in the White House). But Hillary seems to struggle before cameras, press conferences, and large groups — especially when her notes are removed. She seems stiff — a little robotic; her answers seem proven and poll-tested. And on that whole, yukky, ongoing, emaily thing, she keeps hedging and contradicting herself. In other words, there’s a growing sense we are not getting the truth, whole truth, and nothing but the truth from her. I thus find myself always wondering if what candidate Clinton is saying has been filtered and edited,  and if everyone on her campaign team has sat around and said, “Ok, good one; let’s go with that!” It just doesn’t feel authentic.

Why? Because authenticity means saying what you mean and meaning what you say.

We crave authenticity.

Let’s be clear: Donald Trump says some of the darnedest things. I don’t get how he does it. But he doesn’t need notes; he doesn’t need a TelePrompter; and his campaign staff hasn’t filtered everything he says. He at least appears to be authentic — even in his often rude, preposterous statements; we know what he means. From my initial observations, that authenticity seems a similar reason driving the growing interest in candidates Carson, Fiorina, Kasich, and Sanders. They may not be totally authentic, but there’s something in their individual speaking styles and interactions that’s attractive and refreshing to many.

Say what you mean. Mean what you say. Let the rest of us decide from there.

Respectfully…
AR

something like this

photo-1440557958969-404dc361d86fI’m back.

(Note: I had a post ready to publish, but the events of yesterday altered my thoughts — and thus my plans and our ensuing, respectful dialogue.)

On Wednesday morning, as the Virginia dawn was breaking and many more were waking, a television reporter and a photo journalist were shot and killed during a live broadcast. They were shot by a former, said to be “disgruntled” employee. It was intentional. The very initial investigation seems to indicate the murders were premeditated.

Heinous. Horrific. Give me whatever word you want. As my longtime, sweet school friend shared with me — a friend who is also an accomplished photo journalist — I’m “numb. Just numb.” She told me about yesterday’s newsroom… how their typically bustling set was only quiet and devastated. There is “no ABC, CBS, NBC, FOX, or CNN” on days like yesterday; our newsrooms are a close knit community. There are so many emotions — for them, for us — yet so few words to adequately describe.

It seems true on this planet, when bad things happen, we really struggle with how to respond… wisely. I get it. If we’re not numb, we’re outraged. Maybe, often… both. And when we’re outraged, we react immediately. We are a reactionary people.

I thus paused, observing the plethora of instant, varied reactions to Wednesday’s awful event…

  • Some immediately adopting the eye-for-an-eye verdict (although their words aren’t quite as nice as mine).
  • Others decrying gun violence.
  • Still more denouncing all private gun ownership.
  • Others ranting about racism.
  • More, too, demanding new policy initiatives.

… all in the seemingly immediate, initial instant after the awful event.

I get it. Does America have a gun problem? … a violence problem? … a racism problem? We certainly struggle with each of the above; many people are legitimately passionate about these issues. Let me first add a related concept. I believe we also have a significant problem in this country with mental illness; we’re not good at acknowledging it nor discussing it — a topic the Intramuralist believes gets way too little air time.

My sense, no less, is that each of the above conflicts are topics on which we could/should undoubtedly host a longer, respectful dialogue. My sense is also that our instantaneous outrage in these areas often impedes us from seeing a far bigger, bottom line.

Bigger than the problems with guns, violence, and race, America seems to have a “sin” problem (… sorry… I know we have trouble and great discomfort acknowledging and discussing this; I just don’t like to avoid any topic). Hence, allow me to explain…

If sin is “an immoral act considered to be a transgression of divine law,” we need to at least attempt to discern what “divine law” is. What does God actually require of us?

Yikes. I must confess that the Intramuralist was never blessed with some ultra-omniscience capable of articulating exactly what God requires and does not; in fact, I’m pretty confident no human has been so seemingly blessed. But if asked, I would start with something like this…

The great big God of the Universe wants us to love him and love other people (… let me repeat that…). Love him and love other people. He wants us to be humble, act justly, and love mercy. If each of us simply started with that, my even keener sense is that there would be less problems on this planet — yes, less of a gun problem… less of a violence problem… and less of a racism problem.

If yesterday’s killer had humbled himself before God — submitting in some semblance of prayer his emotions, experience, and so obvious (to us) wrongful belief system — before the living God — he would not have killed Allison Parker and Adam Ward. Instead, this killer was seemingly “mad as hell and not going to take it any more.” He knew no divine law at that time.

I think of the two innocent people who died Wednesday morning… two people, doing their jobs.

 As my dear friend said, I’m “numb. Just numb.” Maybe that humble pause should be the first reaction for each of us… accompanied by tear-laced prayers for the families of Parker and Ward. May God be with you now.

(P.S. I’m back.)

Respectfully…
AR

right or righteous?

photo-1437623889155-075d40e2e59fRight or Righteous?…

That is the Question!

There are times in our lives when we feel as though we are in a refiner’s fire — those tough times or circumstances that refine — or seemingly purify — us… when, for whatever reason, it is as if every situation or interaction we find ourselves in brings about the same message. The message arises so much that you begin to ask yourself:

“Am I ever going to catch a break here?”

This is a picture of how my summer of 2001 was spent. At the time, I was on staff as a full-time missionary with Youth With A Mission – Nashville. YWAM is a non-profit ministry focused on service and training across the globe, that started over 50 years ago. My job and primary focus was to train and lead our college age volunteers as they led the youth groups. I LOVED my job! I was in my element!! I was doing what I love to do.

So, why in the world was I facing such confrontation at every turn? And from one staff person in particular at that? Everyday I found myself asking:

“What is his deal?”

Then, one day, after yet another head-butting, down right frustrating confrontation with this fellow staff member (did I ever mention how much I dislike confrontation? Well, I dislike it… A LOT!), a dear friend spoke these words to me and, still, today they resonate within me — especially in those moments when I find myself going head-to-head with someone and all I want to do is yell:

“I know what I am doing!!! I can take care of it myself!!”

Here is what my dear friend, Tiny, had to say:

“I know the things you have endured, but do you want to be RIGHT or do you want to be RIGHTEOUS?”

Do we always have to be right? … or will we allow for our character to be carved and to grow?

Can we say ouch?!! That hurts the pride and the rightness of it all!

Hear this: there is no disgrace in being right. This world needs more of what is right and good and true. It is just in those moments the challenge becomes more real and true and honest.

Hanging with you in the fray…

Respectfully…

LJ

facebook arguments

wi9yf7kTQxCNeY72cCY6_Images of Jenny Lace Plasticity Publish (4 of 25)I saw this quote posted by a friend today on Facebook : “You don’t have to attend every argument you are invited to.”

The funny thing about that is it’s the third time this week I have seen that exact same quote. The first was on a bumper sticker, the second on a coffee mug in a gift store. It has me thinking that the Universe is trying to tell me something. I don’t think of myself as argumentative or combative. In fact most people who really know me would say that I do my best to avoid confrontation. So why me, Universe? Why now?

Why not, say eight or nine years ago? Back when social media was a pretty new thing for people of my generation and there was a presidential election in full swing. At the time it seemed like finally those of us who loathed confrontation had found the answer to getting our point across-just post it. I could say whatever I wanted because I wasn’t actually arguing face to face with anyone. Which also meant I didn’t have to accept ANY opposing opinions about anything! If I didn’t like what they had to say in response to my post I could just ignore it, or delete it or let someone who agreed with me go after them in the comments; it was a beautiful thing. Until it wasn’t any more… turns out Facebook confrontation are the same thing as real confrontations — go figure?

Those arguments I was typing with the distant relatives of my best friend from nursery school? Turns out they were actual people and not just dialog boxes, and the “discussions” we were having were being read and judged by all of our friends. And you know what else? The only opinions any of that critical closed-minded dialog changed were of me and the others who participated in it. No one suddenly changed their entire belief system based on a Facebook argument. Shocker right?

I know this because my small hometown has a Festival every summer. It’s the one time of year you can be guaranteed to run into old classmates and long ago friends. Every one comes back and what used to be three days of catching up has morphed into three days of talking about what you have posted on Facebook recently. And let me tell you, it isn’t nearly as much fun to apologize to someone for arguing with their Mom about immigration as it is to remember the time we hit a pig on the highway after the homecoming dance.

So without even knowing it, I learned that I didn’t have to attend every argument I was invited to. I stopped posting political pieces. Stopped commenting for the sake of starting up a fight. I weighed in here and there but I chose my words carefully and bracketed it with things like “respectfully” and “we don’t all have to agree”. I became mindful that, for most of my Facebook friends, what I posted was the only definition they would have of me. I don’t speak to many of them face to face. They don’t know how I live my life, that there is more to me than my posts and replies. And I didn’t want that to be their truth about me. I am more than just my political beliefs or my religion or my alma mater (though that one I still have a hard time not defending). I am a sum of all of those things and more.

And now another Presidential election is upon us. I know this because I live in Iowa and here things start getting revved up pretty early. We already have commercials and candidate forums. Editorials are being printed in our newspapers and opinions, lots and lots of opinions. And slowly but surely, those one sided political posts are starting to make their way into my newsfeed. I shudder to think how this one will go. After all, we’ve had years to sharpen our blades and our social media skills. How many of us will let our passion trump our reason? How many of us will lose friendships over words we type on our keyboards? Think about that before you hit post. Maybe you think it doesn’t matter, that if someone disagrees with your opinion you are better off without their friendship. But what about their respect? When did we become a country where people either agree with you or they are wrong? Maybe it was around the time we all started posting our opinions instead of talking about them in person.

Respectfully…
Jules

why we should all care about abortion

photo-1428699190791-2c4f8b144d06This is a post I’ve wanted to write for some time, one that brings abortion numbers into clear focus. One casting abortion into its rightful place among the various forms of violent death prevalent in the United States.

Unfortunately, there’s been a problem, one that has stopped me dead in my tracks on several occasions.

You see, I’m a man.

Conventional thinking among abortion advocates holds that a man has no business expressing an opinion on this subject. Abortion, the advocates say, should be between a woman and her doctor. In this view, it appears that a man’s sole role is merely to “support his woman” — emotionally, should she choose abortion, physically and financially, should she not. Otherwise, men are apparently expected to hold our collective tongues and keep our hands off of women’s bodies.

Of course this point of view implicitly concludes that a fetus is not a human being, and does not merit the protection that normally accrue to anyone qualifying as a person. Many pro-abortionists offer an alternate explanation of a fetus’s nebulous status – that “life” begins at birth as opposed to at conception (or at another, subjectively determined time in between) and that prior to birth it is simply a “clump of cells.” The pro-abortionist appears to base this argument on the belief that a child must be capable of survival outside of the mother’s body (as per Roe v. Wade) or even later before it actually achieves the rank of “unique, protected human life.”

I appear to be missing the scientific and moral arguments that underpin this position. It seems to me that identifying the “beginning of a unique human life” at any point in time other than when a sperm fertilizes an egg is arbitrary. Fertilization is when, after all, the stuff of creating a new, distinctive set of DNA actually occurs. Everything beyond that seems to me to be a stage of subsequent growth and development. Many on the pro-abortion side of this controversy appear to sidestep the question of when life begins. I saw one argument that asserted the “personhood” of the fetus was immaterial as long as it existed in a woman’s body, and until it was no longer dependent on her to survive it was her right to kill it. At will. The logic behind her argument – something theoretical about society’s right to dictate how a person’s body is used – was quite unconvincing to me.

If one disagrees with the abortion advocate’s viewpoint (and honestly, I have a difficult time comprehending how abortion advocates can characterize a fetus as “a clump of cells” or a “parasitic organism”), there is another, ugly, alternate name for abortion that unavoidably comes to mind — murder.

If one sees a fetus as a human life, then one must also see abortion as murder. And murder is a subject that no one — male or female — has any business ignoring. Religious beliefs aside, I struggle to see how any civilized society can advocate murder in any form (abortion, capital punishment or euthanasia). If someone does have a persuasive argument in favor of murder, particularly one as seemingly weak as the pro-abortionists “freedom to manage my body the way I want,” then why not extend that argument to include advocating the murder of young children? Any parent can tell you that children represent a substantially larger burden (mentally, physically, and financially) after birth than they did when in the womb. Why don’t pro-abortionists advocate for “child convenience killing?” After all, if human life’s beginning is arbitrarily determined to as a point between conception and birth, it seems an argument could be made to withhold the designation of “personhood” until a child can smile, right? Or crawl? Or speak? Or perhaps until they have a high school diploma?

We don’t make such arguments because we know they are wrong.

Of course, there are many wrongs in today’s world, all screaming for a tiny sliver of our attention. We know murder is wrong. And so is assault. Racism is wrong. As is cruelty to animals. So what makes abortion such a big deal?

It’s the numbers.

To illustrate my point, I collected data on various forms of violent and non-violent death in the United States from 2010 (the latest year with complete data). Here they are:

  • Criminal executions — 46
  • Murders – 16,539
  • Suicides – 38,364
  • Influenza & Pneumonia — 56,979
  • Strokes — 128,978
  • Cancer — 584,881
  • Heart Disease — 611,105
  • Abortions – 765,651

Based on the numbers, abortion stands out. It is the leading cause of death in the United States. Greater than the “great killers” of heart disease and cancer. Almost 50 times more common than murder. Four orders of magnitude greater than the government’s executions of criminals.

It is an astonishing total.

And although the abortion body count has declined in recent years – a desirable outcome, to be sure – it makes my heart ache to live in a country where the routine murder of the unborn is common. Abortion as the great moral crisis of our time. And I cannot remain silent, even if present day thinking claims that men’s opinions on this subject are invalid and irrelevant.

Men, don’t allow your voices to be silenced on this issue. A favorite tactic in today’s debates over anything controversial is to question your right to hold a belief, or to label your opinion itself as “bigoted” or (in this case) “misogynistic.” Toughen up. It isn’t okay to sit on the sidelines and dispassionately ignore our modern American holocaust, offering the lame excuse that “abortion is between a woman and her doctor.” You have a mouth and a keyboard, and the right to express your opinion over this moral outrage.

As noted Irish statesman Edmund Burke wisely said, “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”

Respectfully…

TS

the bracketology of friendship

unsplash_5288cc8f3571d_1
As the final seconds ticked away and the buzzer sounded, a collective “crumple” could be heard from coast to coast. The crumple sound was that of brackets busted. Every March basketball fans both diehard and novice fill out their brackets in hopes of selection swag and bragging rights. Crumpled up paper aside, there is something joyful about a low seed defeating a top seed at the big dance.

Is it petty envy? Perhaps. Or is it our desire to root for and witness the success of the often overlooked underdogs? No doubt, it is a bit of both. Jealously of others and joy for others are both components inherent in human nature.

The seeding isn’t exclusive to March Madness. It is a ubiquitous part of our culture, particularly in the halls of high school. A lot of teens are grateful to survive high school with little drama. It is to be expected and part of the dance. But it is with an incredulous sadness to watch kids be categorized and put into brackets based on talent, looks, academics, athleticism and economics.

This bracketology became apparent when mentoring a young person several years ago. A very bright and socially awkward high school student to whom first bell through the ringing of the last bell was a daily torment. A lot of defenses (some not so positive) were built up. This student was a dealt a “low seed” by the self-appointed selection committee roaming the halls and cafeteria. Their bracket was even worse than “overlooked”; it was “undesirable.” Using coping strategies helped ease the challenging years. What was truly reassuring and exciting was the hope that in post high school and/or college, they would find their group of friends without the social mores of high school dictating their seed. Post high school/college begins a new chapter with a clean slate. As a young adult, this person flourished in college, joining organizations of their choice and embracing friendships and fun. Although a very challenging and desirable degree was earned, they were sad to leave college where they created their own identity.

Not only can the anxiety of the school day plague many young people, they are also faced with the scrutiny of well-intentioned parents. These high school brackets bare some self- examination by parents as well. All too often, we find ourselves trying to oversee the selection committee, whether it be for protection, well-being or even to live vicariously for their own “selection swag.” Are parents interfering their child’s independence and interests so they can have an acceptable seeding? Does this higher seed give them more happiness or pressure? It is their duty and prudent to protect them from harmful influences. Do they take it too far by directing their homecoming dance groups? Does a child being in a desirable bracket make the parents a higher seed? Do parents impede their child’s independence? All motivations included, it is difficult to know the right answer.

Ironically, it is often the overlooked seeds who soar after high school. They have already played in a tough game environment and are well equipped to take on a new road to the big dance. They don’t have to rely on their past bracket to define them. It’s a clean slate and they chart their X’s and O’s. In high school one’s friends are friends largely by circumstance — in college one’s friends are friends by choice. It is beyond the halls and cafeteria when all the brackets get crumpled. It is a time for the underdogs to dance.

Respectfully…

CK

 

Indiana’s RFRA and the Culture War

photo-1438368915865-a852ef86fc42For one week, from March 26, 2015 until April 2, 2015, Indiana found itself a battlefield in the nationwide culture war. Below is my perspective on the “Battle of the Indiana RFRA” from my vantage point on the front lines.

The origin of the Religious Freedom Restoration Act dates back 25 years to a 1990 U.S. Supreme Court decision, Employment Division vs. Smith. Two Native Americans in Oregon were fired from their jobs and denied unemployment compensation because they used the illegal drug peyote as a part of a religious ceremony. The employees tried to use the First Amendment’s free exercise of religion clause as a defense. SCOTUS ruled against them, declaring it was not necessary for the state’s drug laws to make an exception for acts done in pursuit of religious beliefs.

Congress was not a fan of this decision. In reaction, they passed the original RFRA in 1993. The law (42 USC 21B) states that the government shall not substantially burden a person’s exercise of religion unless the burden is in furtherance of a compelling governmental interest and the burden is the least restrictive means of furthering that interest. The law was introduced by then Rep. Chuck Schumer in the House, carried by Sen. Edward Kennedy in the Senate, passed nearly unanimously, and signed by President Bill Clinton.

In 1997, SCOTUS ruled in City of Boerne v. Flores that RFRA only applied to federal law and not state and local laws. As a result, twenty states passed their own version of RFRA, including Illinois, which passed RFRA in 1998 with the support of then State Senator Barack Obama. (Some have excused this vote by pointing out that Illinois also has an LGBT anti-discrimination law. They neglect to mention that the anti-discrimination legislation wasn’t passed until 2005.)

So what changed? Why would language that Democrats lauded only a generation ago now be vilified by those same individuals as bigoted? Obviously it’s because of a cultural shift in attitudes toward same-sex relationships. Traditional marriage advocates in Indiana tried to push back against this shift with the initial passage of a state constitutional amendment defining marriage as the union of one man and one woman, as was already defined in Indiana statute, in February 2014. Full adoption would have required a second passage by subsequent legislature and approval by a voter referendum.

It didn’t take long for that to become a moot exercise. The following month, three lesbian couples from Indiana filed a lawsuit, Baskin v. Bogan, in federal court for the ability to marry. In June, the district court ruled for the plaintiffs, finding their rights to due process and equal protection of law under the 14th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution were being violated. In September, the circuit appeals court upheld the decision, and then in October, the U.S. Supreme Court let stand those rulings. Just like that, Indiana’s law was overturned and Hoosier gay couples could marry.

Which brings us to 2015. Now that same-sex marriage was legal in Indiana, attention turned to protecting those who did not believe in gay unions. Some legislators were concerned about events that had taken place in other states regarding the issue. In Houston, the mayor had subpoenaed sermons that area pastors had given regarding homosexuality. An Oregon bakery was ordered to pay $135,000 to a lesbian couple for refusing to make them a wedding cake. A florist in Washington was directed by a judge to provide flowers for gay wedding ceremonies.

The mechanism chosen to prevent such incidents from happening here was RFRA, which was top of mind after another SCOTUS case in 2014, Burwell v. Hobby Lobby, where the court decided that because of the federal RFRA, a privately held company could not be forced by the government to include coverage for abortion-inducing contraceptive drugs as a part of the health insurance provided to its employees.

When the bill was debated in Indiana, the discussion did not center on homosexuality. Examples that were cited in which the law would apply included a Muslim prisoner in Arkansas who was allowed to grow a beard contrary to Department of Correction policy and the Amish buggy drivers in Kentucky who resisted laws requiring them to place an orange triangle on the back of their vehicles and won the right to use reflective tape instead. The focus was on restricting Indiana state and local governments from infringing on the religious beliefs of individuals or businesses.

But what about disputes between two individuals or businesses? Different federal circuit courts, as well as courts in the other states who had already adopted RFRA laws, had come to different conclusions as to whether RFRA would apply to civil lawsuits. To avoid confusion, legislators amended the bill to clarify that RFRA could be asserted as a defense in a civil case, regardless of whether the state or a local government was part of the lawsuit.

I should emphasize that RFRA has never provided blanket immunity to those sued for discrimination. It simply allows for the defendant to raise religious objections as a defense. It would still be up to a judge to decide, according to the facts of the case, whether those religious objections are overridden by a compelling state interest in the least restrictive means possible.

This lack of clarity on the scope of RFRA’s applicability in discrimination cases was the source of its controversy. The bill’s proponents were motivated by a very narrow instance of a defendant (e.g., minister, florist, baker, photographer, etc.) asked to participate in a religious sacrament. Opponents of the bill feared a much broader application, such as companies refusing to hire gay workers, restaurants turning away gay customers, or landlords rejecting gay tenants.

Let me reiterate that prior to the bill’s passage, there was no outrage expressed about wider discrimination against gays and lesbians. It was not until after the bill became law the organized attacks began. To clarify, I do not doubt the sincerity of gays who were afraid they could be kicked out of a restaurant because of RFRA. Yet, I do believe that activists fostered these fears for political ends. These activists also used Saul Alinsky-type tactics to intimidate legislators. For instance, customers of the family business owned by one of the bill’s authors were threatened with boycotts if they did not sever ties his company.

After the bill was signed, Governor Mike Pence appeared on This Week with George Stephanopoulos. Stephanopoulos repeatedly asked the governor whether Indiana’s RFRA legalized discrimination against gays. When the governor declined to answer the question, it appeared that he was confirming opponents’ concerns that the law sanctioned broader discrimination. What he should have done is acknowledged that under very restricted circumstances, such as when a wedding service provider had religious objections to participate in a gay wedding, he hoped that a judge would not compel the business or person to do so.

Of course, all of that is Monday morning quarterbacking. In retrospect, there may have been nothing Governor Pence could have done to halt the avalanche of negative attention on Indiana. A false narrative had taken hold, “Indiana RFRA legalizes discrimination,” and with the help of social media, that false narrative had gone viral. It was frustrating that the perception of what the law did was the news story, not what the law actually did. Like it or not, perception had become reality.

Another thing which became very real was the adverse economic impact the controversy had on the state, and Indianapolis in particular, which is heavily dependent upon visitors to the area. Within only a few days, a billion dollars’ worth of convention business was cancelled and more losses were threatened. Furthermore, the lost economic activity meant less revenue available for schools, roads, public safety, and the like.

And so, a follow-up bill was crafted to limit RFRA’s applicability in discrimination cases. Only a church or religious organization and its minister/priest/rabbi could use it as a defense. That is not where I would have drawn the line, but there was no opportunity to change it. I did not relish voting for a bill negotiated with corporate leaders behind closed doors, but given that there was an economic gun pointed at Indiana’s head, there was little choice.

After SCOTUS’s Obergefell v. Hodges decision a few months later, same-sex marriage is now the law in all fifty states. Just as Roe v. Wade did not end the acrimony over abortion, we will be arguing over gay marriage for quite some time. As Indiana’s experience shows, the right to marry is not enough for some gay rights advocates. They want the government to force all service providers to participate in a gay wedding, despite the plethora of businesses willing to do so. (See last week’s ruling against a Colorado baker.)

What we should do instead is develop a “live and let live” legal framework. If a gay person owned a print shop and a prospective customer ordered 100 signs that said “Homosexuality is a sin,” should the owner be within his rights to refuse the business? Of course, he should. Why should the Christian wedding service provider not have the same right?

How we answer that question is the next battle in the culture war.

Respectfully…

Pete