Sometimes it helps me to wait a little bit before I react. A little bit of pause and reflection often provides perspective. That perspective then alters emotion, typically in a more prudent way.
I’ve watched the country react to the recent racial tragedies. My heart hurts most for the families of the lives who were lost.
Allow me to say that I assume with more days to follow, more will be added to my perspective. I pray that I will always be fervent in the search for increased, varied perspective. The more we only seek out the likeminded — and immediately dismiss all others — means the more we are unknowingly stunting our own maturity and growth.
So let’s deal with this maturely… What’s happened in recent days has been awful…
What happened in Minneapolis was awful. What happened in Dallas was awful. What happened in Tennessee, Missouri, Louisiana, etc. — also awful. Can we admit that all were awful?
My sense — albeit granted, from a very limited vantage point — is that there exists a significant group of people in this country who feel as if black men and women continue to be treated without equal dignity and respect in all areas of life — especially in the eyes of law enforcement. Please note: this is a peaceful group. And whether or not another agrees or disagrees with this perception, it does not change the fact that a significant group of people believes this to be true.
There exists another group of people — embedded within the same identified movement — that is not peaceful. Existing side-by-side with the peaceful people is a group of people that is radical… violent… that is actually calling for the killing of cops. They are the people that cannot see that all of the above are awful. This group is part of the problem.
If we are going to build any unity on this issue that has spiraled out of control in recent years — due also in part, I believe, to the simultaneous increase in the use of social media to promote desired perspective — we need to honestly wrestle with all parts of the problem…
We need to acknowledge how people feel — whether we share their opinion or not…
We need to refrain from labeling entire people groups…
We need to refrain from labeling entire professions…
And we must not demonize any.
To suggest or imply that either all or the clear majority of African-Americans or police officers are racist or wrong is not helpful nor accurate. To portray them as somehow two opposite sides of the same coin is also wrong. Demonizing them only adds to the problem.
“Black Lives Matter” is an acceptable hashtag and sincere movement. As I’ve listened and learned from many of you, the peaceful BLM articulators are not saying that other lives matter less; they are instead drawing attention to how they have long felt less valued; and many are concerned for their children. I do not advocate any stage or circumstance that causes our brothers and sisters to feel less valued.
That is also true of law enforcement. I do not advocate any stage or circumstance that causes them to feel less valued or respected. They deserve our highest respect.
And let me be clear — there is no place for the intentional targeting of African-Americans or policemen. Neither deserves to be targeted. Neither deserves to be demonized.
But the challenge is that too many are embedded among the sincere who do not see the totality of the big picture. They do not see that “neither deserves to be demonized.” And so they push for the demonization. They intentionally disrespect. They say one wrong makes for a right. And come hell, high water, or whatever they wish to call it, they don’t care who they hurt. And thus, they hurt us all.
We’ve long had a saying in our house, encouraging all to “come to the table.” Come to the table. All are welcome, come as they might. The beauty of the table is that everyone has an equal place; it’s a place to learn from the others who are there. Truly, all are welcome. We talk and share and laugh and cry. Some of the conversations are tough, but everyone listens well; they listen to the one who feels differently than they. There’s a raw, honest exchange of ideas among the like — and unlike — minded. There’s an authentic sharpening, as all are deeply respected.
Right now in our culture, though, with the demonization and the encouraged choosing of so-called “sides,” I see some attempting to put all onus on someone else. It’s as if they’re attempting to deny another their spot at the table.
There is no place for that. We need listening. We need respect. We need humility, forgiveness, repentance, and a huge, interactive give-and-take. But it only starts when the demonization is no more — and all take their seat, fellowshipping finally, sweetly at the table together.
Respectfully…
AR