Tag: 2016 elections

In case it isn’t clear, the Intramuralist is not a conflict avoider. It’s not that I love it, desire it, nor welcome conflict with open arms. It simply doesn’t scare me away. And I have realized that navigating through conflict wisely is undoubtedly one of the most effective means of growth.

Let me be clear: I am not speaking of growth for others; I am speaking of growth for me.

When not recognizing the growth opportunity, conflict has the potential to bring out the worst in us. In the last week, we have felt and witnessed “the worst”… name calling, gloating, violence, judgment, and disrespect… on all sides.

Friends, you can’t love your neighbor well if you only love half your neighbors.

Last week we had an election. It was tough; it still is. Many are struggling with the vote, even though no candidate tallied a majority; no one received 50%. That means whomever each of us voted for, we are each in the minority. But being in the minority is hard; it’s hard to process all that happened. There is grief. There is fear. There is celebration by some. But there is still grief and fear. We must be cognizant of all.

Allow me, if you will, to humbly share the events of my day last week… Tuesday, November 8th, Election Day…

As typical, I chose not to vote via absentee ballot. I enjoy physically going to the polls, catching up with my neighbors, interacting with those in my community. First, I ran into some old friends from baseball. Our sons played together when they were six (… that was 13 years ago!). I then saw another show choir mom, a man I coached with, a teacher friend, a couple couples from church, and another close family set of friends.

Then I saw Richard. Oh, wait… Three years ago, when I actually ran for a local precinct position — and lost, by the way — Richard was my opponent. We hugged, gleefully caught up, exchanged a few ideas, and wished each other well. I love Election Day.

You’ll remember, however, that going into last Tuesday, I had serious reservations about both primary party candidates. With no intended disrespect, I saw neither as all good or all evil. I saw neither as the Messiah nor as God’s gift for us all to somehow put our hope in. I saw each as a significantly, ethically flawed candidate, whose flaws were minimized by sincere supporters and carefully crafted PR campaigns.

I think perhaps what concerned me most leading up to that day, is that I also witnessed people screaming at only the flaws in the other — forgetting that both — no, strike that — forgetting that each of us, have ample dents in our armor… each of us have screwy sides… each of us are sinners with the opportunity to be saved by grace. I was grieved by the masses who only acknowledged flaws in persons other than self or in the likeminded. I foresaw conflict only increasing.

Friends, the way to navigate through conflict wisely, is to at some point pause long enough to quit pointing the finger at everyone else. It’s ok to observe. It’s ok to be hurt, frustrated, even angry. I believe it’s totally all right to utter “what in the *$&%^# [bleep] are they thinking?!” But at some point, in order to navigate through things wisely, we must stop and ask, “What here, do I need to learn?”

Exchanging the exclamation of “you need to learn” for the humble question of “what do I need to learn” is one of the most effective means of growth.

Back, no less, to Election Day, as I then did the unthinkable…

Even though the Intramuralist pays more than ample attention to current events in hopes of always encouraging respectful dialogue, I went to bed early Tuesday night. That’s right; I paid no attention. I left my laptop off and never turned on the TV. I watched zero tweets and results as they were coming in. I said my prayers — thanking the good Lord for this gift of life, praying for mercy and grace for all of us — and then slept very well.

My concern was copious both after and before the outcome, knowing that as a nation, we do not deal with conflict well. We fail to grow because we take turns justifying the name calling, gloating, violence, judgment, and disrespect. We get sucked into those PR campaigns. We ignore the flaws in one and promote the flaws in another. We have biased news sources. We are insulated by the likeminded. We don’t embrace true accountability. We get puffed up. We only see one side of an argument. We stop talking to the ideologically diverse. We unfriend. We judge. We limit grace. We then put hope into something other than the divine. All sides. We all do it.

I get it… it’s easier. Humbly asking what we must individually learn is harder indeed…

It is also the key to loving our neighbor well.

Respectfully… always…
AR

My heart grieves. It grieves for a nation divided. We see persons who are hurting. We see persons who are fearful. We also see persons who are proud. And we see arguably the majority somewhere in between. Among both the fearful and the proud, we see persons sincerely unable to see any other perspective than their own. That is cause for grief. That has been cause for grief for me not just this week… but for years. We have been divided for some time.

Can we — and I know this is tough — but can we step outside our circumstances and emotion long enough to realize their are other valid perspectives than our own? Remember, as previously written, there are 360 degrees in a circle — each looking at the center from a different angle. That angle — through which we view life — is only one degree.

Hence, now is the time not to re-arm and get ready to fight. Now is not the time to disrespect. Now is not the time to burn the flag nor to dismiss the one who burns it. Now is the time to come to the table.

As known, one of my favorite phrases in life is “come to the table.” What I mean by that is there is a seat for everyone. No one is omitted. No one is marginalized.

That means we gather together…

That means we authentically fellowship and converse…

That means we hang out with more than the likeminded…

And that means no one drowns out another. We sit. We listen. And all voices are equally heard.

Friends, we have lost our ability to listen. When we get wind of a person who thinks differently, it seems as if we categorize them in our head as “one of them.” And “one of them” is a person we silently (or not) assess as either ignorant, intolerant, or somehow idiotic. Let me suggest that we are each ignorant in areas, as ignorant merely means “unknowing” — and there are a lot of things each of us does not know… especially when we are only “one degree” — and we refuse to come to the table.

Coming to the table means working out the tough issues…

Take the abortion issue, for example. And yes, I utilize such because it’s become so emotionally-charged. I really hate the fact that our abortion dialogue seems to have been reduced to protests and placards where people scream at or past one another, never sitting down, listening, and empathizing with the one who feels differently. We are awful here at looking at the totality of another’s perspective.

What coming to the table then does is that it allows us to hear that perspective; in other words, it provides a place for empathy. People who won’t come to the table have very limited empathy. And when there is no empathy, there is judgment. Judgment divides our nation.

So left, right, and all those somewhere in the middle…

Trump voters, Clinton voters, those third partiers or no voters…

All ethnicities, races, genders, and varied demographics…

The LGBTQ community…

The evangelical Christian community…

The faithful and the non-faithful…

The abortion advocates and the advocates for the unborn…

Americans…

Now is the time to come to the table and listen to one another… all sides… all 360 degrees… choosing empathy over judgment.

Respectfully…
AR

I have only one phrase for this day, and no, it’s not: “Thank God it’s over.” 🙂

After campaigns that were too often filled with intentional disrespect, we need far more than a respite from the nasty. The nasty is not who we are…

We are the United States of America…

A country that has always recognized we are endowed by our Creator with certain unalienable Rights…
A country that has always welcomed the huddled masses yearning to be free…
And a country that has always desired to secure the Blessings of Liberty for ourselves and future generations.

Friends, come… let us reason together…

Let us reason together.

Let us not gloat.
Let us not despair.
Let us not dismiss…
Nor refuse for all to care.

We have some huge challenges in this country.

We get lost, as they are not as much about foreign policy, education, energy, the economy, and a plethora of social issues than they are in our inability — and our lack of desire — to come and reason together.

Reasoning together means wrestling with dissent.
Reasoning together means expressing dissent in respectful ways.
And reasoning together means everyone has a seat at the table.

Reasoning together suggests consideration more than compromise. It means listening and valuing other opinion. That process promotes respect; and respect promotes unity. Our challenge is that in recent years too many of our leaders — and too many of us — have allowed our country to operate as only the “States of America.” We have forgotten the united.

To be united is like a mighty mixed choir… there are sopranos and altos and tenors and basses. There are even second sopranos… baritones, too. And together they sing. They make beautiful music! But each has a different role — a role that is uniquely theirs, fitting with their circumstance and gifting; in fact, it would be incomprehensible to think a bass could sing the soprano line well; the role doesn’t belong to them. The idea is to do your job well — and not make light of any other.

In order for the choir to come together in perfect, sweet-sounding harmony — in unity, if you will — no voice can be too soft, or else we’ll never hear it; the chorus will be off, and the music simply won’t sound or even function right. Equally true, no less, is that no voice can be too loud, belting so demonstratively, that other parts are marginalized. No, in unity, there is no marginalization.

The only way the choir sounds beautiful is when all voices are valued and heard.

Come. Let us reason together.

Respectfully…
AR

What if during an election season, there was a candidate described as follows:

… one who tell lies…
… one who is malicious…
… one with a clear lack of character…
… one no reasonably intelligent person could support…
… one who preys on our ignorance…
… one who lacks integrity…
… one who is nothing short of scary…

And what if during an election season, you knew that wasn’t true?

We all get it. We’ve all seen it. Those descriptions are all around us.

That’s what too many candidates do… even, perhaps, what good candidates do.

But sometimes… what they say, is not true.

People don’t know what they don’t know.

Many times over the last seven and a half years on the Intramuralist, we have tackled tough angles in regard to how the American political system seems so broken… it’s too big, too controlling, too financially imbalanced… there’s too much arrogance, too many attacks, too much self-servingness… too much money involved.

It seems, too, that one of America’s biggest political problems is what it now takes to get elected… utilizing a misrepresentation of truth.

No longer is an election a rational attempt to discern between two (or more) people in which each presents themselves honestly and authentically, clearly representing their policy stances and perspectives, letting us know how strongly they feel, respecting their opponent… And saying at the conclusion of their campaign, “We wish each voter and candidate well. Win or lose, we trust you will make a good choice.”

No. Elections have seemingly instead become a manipulative attempt in which each candidate presents themselves in the perceived most positive light, hiding policy stances and perspectives that they know are not popular, dampening how strongly they feel, denigrating their opponent… And saying at the conclusion of their campaign, “God forbid my opponent should win. I am the only good choice.”

I have been asked by many: “how do we fix this?” If we want to fix what’s clearly broken in the American political system, we can’t fall prey to left or right talking points. We can’t embrace solely the notion that the insertion of term limits or the repeal of the high court’s Citizens United decision, that then all will be good and true and right. No. The system will still be broken. Those are more rhetorically, good-sounding, political-party-pleasing Band-Aids… as if they alone can retract the embedded arrogance and disrespect.

The American political system will remain broken as long as there remain too many people who think too highly of themselves. The American political system will remain broken as long as there remain too many people who refuse to humble themselves, pray, and love their neighbor more than self. The American political system will remain broken as long as too many people refuse to love all people well.

…Most… only love… some.

Yes, most only love some people well — typically only those who agree with us. We then denigrate those who disagree, justify looking down on others — even calling them ignorant or something worse. Thus, the American political system will remain broken as long as we, the voting public, continue to support that less than virtuous mentality.

Again, we need to humble ourselves, pray, and love our neighbor more than self. Anything less remains sadly, nothing short of scary.

Respectfully…
AR