A Respectful Dialogue of Current Events
If Christmas really means what history tells us…
There’s still joy to the world…
Awe amidst silent nights…
And herald angels that still sing.
There can be peace on Earth…
Goodwill to all men…
And glad tidings we can bring.
Lo, the rose still blooms,
And we have a hope that lasts…
A hope that truly trumps everything.
Christmas may be over…
But peace, joy, and hope remain.
Respectfully… genuinely… always…
AR
As the Christmas/holiday/yuletide/etc. season is quickly, post-Thanksgiving thrust upon us, a respected friend wrote about her family’s chosen approach in teaching their kids the meaning of this season. Her approach is not necessarily the Intramuralist’s approach. Still, I found her thoughts insightful, challenging, and at the very least, reasonable to wrestle with…
We don’t “do” Santa in our home. Or the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy. Some may gasp in dismay as they feel like we are robbing our children of the magic and fun of being a child and believing in such things. And these are also the ones who gasp and become offended when we share why we have chosen not to do what most of our society does.
Simply put, we don’t want to lie to our kids. “It’s not lying,” some will assert… “It’s pretending. It’s allowing them to believe in something magical… I grew up believing in Santa and turned out just fine.”
But when my child point blank asks, “Is Santa real? Is he the one who really puts the presents under our tree? How would he get into our house? How could reindeer actually fly? How would it even be possible for one man to deliver presents to all of the children everywhere?” I am stuck with a decision. I can either perpetuate a mistruth or I can be honest with them. The root of the Santa tradition (which is also now completely commercialized and heavily marketed) is fiction.
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure this out. When my son figured out the truth about all of these make believe characters (when he was 4-5-years-old), his response was: “So every parent lies to their kids? Is everyone a liar?” He seemed appalled at the perceived injustice; he went on to say, “I am going to tell all of my friends. They need to know the truth. They are not going to be happy when they find out about this.” I spent a long time trying to help him understand why people do this. I said things like, “They feel it’s more like pretending; they don’t see it as lying. Different people believe in different things, and that’s okay. We each have to make our own decisions. And you can’t tell other kids the truth because their parents will be very upset with you, because that’s their job — not yours.”
He eventually calmed down. But how silly it all must sound as we are working so hard to teach our kids about telling the truth and not lying. Lying is bad… but it’s okay for us adults to sometimes lie to our kids — even lying about good or fun things — yet leading them to believe in something that so obviously could never exist. It’s a bit confusing.
Which is another reason we chose to be real with them about these things. We talk a lot about God in our home. We talk about having faith in the unseen. We want them to know and believe in God, and we want them to trust that when we say that God is real, that we aren’t just pretending. We don’t want our kids to question us down the road or be hurt because we led them to believe in something that wasn’t real. It could ruin our credibility.
I am simply sharing why we have chosen to do things the way we have. Each of us really does have to choose our own path, regardless of how less or frequently travelled. We also need to respect one another’s chosen path. Just as we do not condemn others for choosing to embrace the tradition of Santa, we, too, should not be condemned for choosing not to perpetuate what’s untrue. But it’s funny how defensive people get. As a society, we aren’t very good at allowing one another to choose; too many get too defensive by the different choice of another. Why would others be offended when I say we didn’t want to lie?
We each have the freedom to raise our children the way we see fit. In our family, we do things differently. It may not make us the most popular or the most liked. But we do “real” in our home. Real love. Real life. Real celebration. Our hope is that we can raise kids who have real faith in a very real God. And for us, Santa just didn’t fit into our family.
Respectfully,
AR
As the shopping days dwindle and the ole’ familiar carols continue to play, I’m struck by a continuous topic in some circles this time of year: is there a war on Christmas?
As posted previously amidst these pages, the Intramuralist isn’t into identifying something as war that actually is not. In the past year we’ve seen the rhetorical rants regarding wars on women, teachers, unions, and coal, for example. Truthfully, friends, the war terminology seems most employed when the goal is to drum up passion for like perspective. War is war, and in my semi-humble opinion, it should never be treated as something it is not.
There do exist movements, no less, in which people work to diminish impact and influence. Again, these cannot logically be equated with combat. Therefore, the question this season is not whether there exists military combat on Christmas; the question is whether there exists an intentional movement to diminish the impact and influence of the Christian holiday.
We’ve discussed, past, eye-opening examples…
… such as in 2002, when New York City schools banned nativity scenes from their December decor but allowed for Hanukkah menorahs and Muslim stars and crescents…
… or how each year retailers, such as Sears, Target, Walmart, Best Buy, or The Gap have either avoided or been accused of avoiding the use of the word “Christmas,” opting instead for “holiday” and/or the watered-down “winter.”
The examples continue this current season…
… in Newhall, California, where residents of a senior apartment complex were originally told by building staff that they had to take down their Christmas tree because of the presence of Christ’s name in the phrase, “Christmas tree”…
… in Santa Monica, where a large-scale nativity scene has been publicly erected for the last 60 years, but atheists have long worked to halt any public, religious sentiment. After a year long battle via courts and complaints, the Santa Monica City Council finally voted to prevent any and all religious displays on public property. (Notice the diminished impact.)
… or even overseas… where in Brussels, Belgium, they omitted their popular city Christmas tree exhibit this year. Why? There were concerns that the local Muslim population would find it “offensive.”
Yes, in this sensitive, seemingly uncanny age of correctness, many institutions still choose to address the Christmas controversy (not combat) by paying equal attention to other seasonal holidays. Typically, this means ample consideration of Hanukkah for those who are Jewish and Kwanzaa for those who are African-American. What I find unique about these celebrations is the comparison of the holidays…
Factually speaking, Hanukkah refers to 165 B.C. when Jewish rituals — which had been previously outlawed — where reinstated as the Jewish people managed to drive the Syrian army out of Jerusalem and reclaim their temple. Hanukkah is the celebration of this victory; previous to the late 1800’s, Hanukkah was considered a minor holiday.
Kwanzaa, on the other hand, is factually more of an ethnic as opposed to religious holiday. It was developed by Dr. Maulana Karenga in 1966 as a way to celebrate and promote the African-American culture.
Christmas, no less, is the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ, the Messiah, in whom hundreds of prophecies were consequently fulfilled.
In other words, in this uncanny age of correctness — with of course all due respect — when we attempt to pay equal attention to all holidays, we are comparing reclaiming a temple with honor for an ethnic heritage with the birth of the savior of the world.
As said at the onset of this post, I don’t believe there is any so-called ongoing war. I don’t. But it certainly does seem that the excluding of acknowledgement and the equating of holidays is an attempt to diminish the impact that if true, the savior of the world would undoubtedly hold.
Respectfully,
AR