so much to learn

A photo by Lacie Slezak. unsplash.com/photos/yHG6llFLjS0

Man, I have so much to learn.

Time and time again, I think I forget that simple but profound concept… 

I have so much to learn.

As I feel like I’ve said more frequently these days, let me not throw you under the bus along with me; I’ll stick with myself. I’ve just got so much to learn.

At first glance, I suppose, we amen, acknowledge solidarity, and wholeheartedly agree. But then one passionate issue or event comes along, and we throw all that humble recognition right out the nearest window…

Someone lies…

Someone offends us…

Someone sits for the National Anthem…

Someone is killed in police custody…

Someone is found guilty…

Someone is found innocent…

Or maybe someone runs for President that we can’t stand…

Yes, sometimes I throw my recognition of having so much more to learn right out the nearest window, forgetting that my perspective is limited… that I cannot — and am incapable — of seeing and knowing it all.

Let’s face it…

Even those of us with 20/20 vision and great peripheral sight, still have not eyes in the back of our heads. If something happens behind us that potentially alters our perspective, we are totally incapable of seeing it — even if we are the most brilliant person on Earth.

True, we have likeminded observers, who may stand behind us; supposedly, they can see for us. But their view, too, is also skewed.

Because their eyes are not our eyes, because their brain does not process identically to our brain, since we are each uniquely, wonderfully, and fearfully made, the crafting of perspective though the eyes of another still serves as a filter; it does not give us complete “omnivision.” In fact, we never have “omnivision.”

Too often — and again, let me speak for myself — I equate my perspective with “omnivision” — this idea that I can somehow see and comprehend all things in all ways or places. I allow either my intelligence, emotion, or experience to justify the existence of the facade. But friends, omnivision doesn’t exist.

We must continuously put ourselves in the shoes of another — not adopting another’s perspective as complete truth, but adding their perspective to our own. Note that even with that addition, our perspective remains incomplete.

I wonder how the national conversation would change, if everyone realized their perspective was incomplete…

I wonder how it would change if everyone realized that intelligence, emotion, and experience do not serve as justification for believing our perspective is actually, somehow complete…

My guess is that we’d be a little more humble, solution would be a little more frequent, and social media would be a far more pleasant place to be.

Oh, yes, we have so much to learn.

(Did I say “we”?)

Respectfully…
AR

 

the world is not our stage

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With the recent acts of questionable protest and patriotism, it got me thinking. (Ok, true — I think a lot.) But I return to where this week’s conversation started: what are we focused on?

Many are focused on the NFL quarterback who refuses to stand for the national anthem.

For some, the reaction is disgust. For a seemingly lesser few, it’s a “way to go.” For most, no less, it seems a “you have that right, but that’s the wrong way to show it” (… see Kaepernick, birthmother…).

With Colin Kaepernick suggesting his motive is to support African-Americans and people of color, It causes me to think about how we best support other people — the way in which our support and good deeds are done… the way in which we make a significant difference.

Kaepernick — and let me add a semi-subtle caveat here, as my perspective is so limited, and I have no desire to be judgmental — but Kaepernick has said he is protesting until people of color are no longer “oppressed” and until the flag means what it “should.” He has a right to that expression; and we each have a right to agree or disagree with his behavior.

I wonder about that behavior. I mean, is this all he does?

Again, let me not be judgmental. But I wonder… he sits when all eyes are on him. When the world is watching, he takes a stand of support. So what does he do when the public is not watching?

… does he get involved? … does he volunteer? … does he invest in community relations? … does he utilize his celebrity status to bring police and various ethnic communities together?

And… does he use any of his $19 million salary to support the causes for which he says he is passionate?

In other words, are his public and private behavior aligned?

One of the things I appreciate is how so much of the ancient scriptures have become accepted truth. We don’t always recognize that — and sometimes, we fight against them, wanting to figure wisdom out on our own a bit — but typically, we find wisdom already, generously provided. When I focus on the big picture here, the following wisdom comes to mind:

“Be especially careful when you are trying to be good so that you don’t make a performance out of it. It might be good theater, but the God who made you won’t be applauding.

When you do something for someone else, don’t call attention to yourself. You’ve seen them in action, I’m sure — ‘playactors’ I call them — treating prayer meeting and street corner alike as a stage, acting compassionate as long as someone is watching, playing to the crowds. They get applause, true, but that’s all they get. When you help someone out, don’t think about how it looks. Just do it — quietly and unobtrusively. That is the way your God, who conceived you in love, working behind the scenes, helps you out.”

The world, my friends, is not our stage.

We are not the stars.

We have been blessed with communities and cultures that provide beautiful opportunity to support and sharpen one another. We need to help the least of these. We need to support and care for one another, especially the oppressed.

Some will say, no doubt, that Kaepernick is doing good by utilizing his celebrity as leverage. There’s a valid point in that; he’s getting people’s attention. That then is where how he spends his time and money also comes into question.

Am I consistent in how I care for others? Are my public and private behaviors consistent with one another?

Or… am I utilizing the world as my stage?

Respectfully…
AR

together we can solve hunger

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[Today is post #9 in our annual, summer Guest Writer Series. Note that the opinions expressed may or may not be held by the Intramuralist.]

 

How can so many people be going hungry in a country that throws away so much food?

When we think about hunger, our thoughts typically jump to third world countries. And world hunger is an important issue. But hunger is an epidemic right here at home.

The statistics are staggering: 48.1 million people in the United States are food insecure. I say food insecure instead of hungry because we’re all a little bit hungry from time to time. Food insecurity means insufficient access to enough food to live a healthy active lifestyle. And that’s 1 in 7 people in America, the world’s only “superpower.”

Even worse, that number includes 15.3 million children; 1 in 5 children in the United States of America does not have enough food to eat. And a child who doesn’t know where their next meal is coming from has such a harder time succeeding in school and growing up to become a productive member of society. They are doomed to a live a life of poverty through no fault of their own. They just lost the lottery of what zip code into which they were born.

But here’s the kicker: this country throws away 40% of the food we produce, over 35 million tons of food annually. Over 1 billion pounds of fresh produce are plowed under each year, never harvested. This would be enough food to feed everyone.

Read that again. The only thing we need to do literally to end hunger in our entire country is to quit throwing away food that could still be eaten by someone in need.

Fortunately, there is already a network of two hundred food banks and tens of thousands of food pantries that will do the hard work of distributing this food to people in need. They currently distribute 4 billion meals per year. But they need another 4½ billion meals. And we’re throwing that food way.

To clarify, a food pantry is a room at a church or community center where a hungry person can get a grocery sack of food to take home to their family. A food bank is a large warehouse that collects food by the truckload and keeps the food pantries supplied. When you support a food bank, you are supporting hundreds of food pantries.

And let’s clarify one more thing: those dates on the sides of packages don’t mean very much. Most call them “expiration dates,” but there isn’t anything that “expires.” Except for baby food, there is no USDA or FDA standard for food product dating. It’s more of a “freshness date,” in that manufactures want that food to be at its very best condition when you eat it, because they want you to buy it again. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with it the day after that date. So I call it the “donate date.” Food banks know how long food is safe to eat past those dates.

What can you do to help? It will take three things to end hunger – food, time, and money.

Wherever you buy groceries, ask what they do with outdated product or gently dented cans. It is a crying shame for that food to be thrown away. Patronize those who donate them, or keep after them until they do. Meat can be frozen on its package date, is still safe to eat, and can be donated. Fresh produce is usually pulled when it starts to turn, and food banks and pantries would gladly sort through it to rescue what is still good. Not only will the store be helping a great cause, it will save them disposal costs, and they get a special tax deduction donating food for hunger relief.

Food banks typically have a few dozen staff and need thousands of volunteers. And pantries are always thrilled to have additional help.

Feel free to support my food bank. But I’d love for you to support your food bank. For us, every $1 contribution provides 5 meals for people in need, which means $20 provides 100 meals, and $200 provides 1000 meals. For $150, you can feed a child every weekend for the entire school year.

If you’d like to learn more about hunger, visit my food bank’s website, riverbendfoodbank.org. To find your local food bank, go to feedingamerica.org.

But this is not like cancer, asking for your support in hopes of finding a remedy someday. We already know the cure. All we need to do is to commit to never throwing away food that can still be eaten by someone in need.

Together we can solve hunger. ™

Respectfully…

Michael P. Miller
Executive Director
River Bend Foodbank

a perfectionist’s guide to salvation

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[Today is post #7 in our annual, summer Guest Writer Series. Note that the opinions expressed may or may not be held by the Intramuralist.]

 

We live in a performance driven culture. Most companies center around performance metrics. Evaluations are based on accomplishments, not intentions. Talk is cheap. You must walk the walk. Actions not words. What have you done for me lately?

When I became a Christian, this is the prism through which I viewed my relationship with Christ. As I understood it, sin separated me from God and separation from God meant death. However, God loved me so much that he sacrificed his Son to die in my place. If I acknowledged this truth and confessed my sins, I would live.

I am also a perfectionist by nature, so after accepting Christ as my savior, I focused on living a sin-free life. I would berate myself for the smallest infraction. After all, what if I were killed in an accident before I had the opportunity to confess my sin?

Striving to live a moral life is a good thing, but there were several problems with my approach. Of course, no one is perfect. Setting an unattainable standard is demoralizing. Not accepting any mistakes at all means not being accepting of yourself which can lead to low self-esteem.

Furthermore, those unwilling to forgive themselves find it challenging to forgive others, especially when others express no contrition. All of us at some time in our lives will be wronged by someone else, often someone we care about. The thing is, if you don’t forgive, even when the other person doesn’t ask for forgiveness, you are the one affected most. Holding on to anger and resentment will only eat you up inside.

There were a couple extreme examples last year of Christians who truly understood “forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.” In June 2015, relatives of nine people gunned down at a Charleston, SC church forgave the killer at his bond hearing. In November 2015, the widower of a woman raped and murdered in Indianapolis, IN forgave the three men responsible. Amazing statements… incredibly difficult to say, yet liberating as well. If those people can mean those words, you can, too, for much smaller offenses.

In my original understanding of how salvation works, I had the facts right, but I had the order wrong. Long before I ever sinned, God gave me the gift of grace. That is the starting point. When I accepted this gift, my sin was wiped away. I still try to live a sin-free life, but now my motivation is love for God, instead of a fear of death.

None of this diminishes the importance of obeying God’s commands. Both grace and obedience are vital to living a Christian life, but you can’t perform your way to heaven. It’s grace that comes first. God gave grace to you, and He expects you to give it to others.

Respectfully…
PJM

orphan no more

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[Today is post #5 in our annual, summer Guest Writer Series. Note that the opinions expressed may or may not be held by the Intramuralist.]

 

Close your eyes and imagine with me…

You are seven years old. You are with your family. You are at home. Home, a place that is familiar and safe. Or at least it should be. Then your father comes to you and asks you to come with him. The two of you head out the door. You ask your father where you are going, no response. You wonder what adventure you must be going on. You ask again — no response. Finally, you find yourself at the train station. You are standing on the platform surrounded by a sea of faces you do not know. You turn to ask your father where you are going. When you turn your father is nowhere to be found. You search the station but it is no use. He is gone. Finally, a woman notices the lost look in your eye. She takes you to the security officer who promptly takes you to the local orphanage.

Unfortunately, the above story is all too often someone’s reality. There are 143 million children around the world waiting, in eager anticipation, for a forever family. Why are they given up or abandoned? The reasons range from death to disease to poverty. Some are even given up for adoption because the parents realize that they just cannot handle another mouth to feed. I cannot even begin to imagine the questions that must ravage the hearts and minds of the little ones who are left in orphanages and on the streets of our cities all over the world. I think the most heart wrenching question of all must be: do they not love me anymore?

God, if you are real, do you not love me anymore?

When we are honest with ourselves, each one of us has felt the very emotions I speak of. We have asked the same questions ourselves. There is within each of us that longing and desire to belong. To be grafted in. To be CHOSEN. We long to be a part of something beyond ourselves. I believe, with my whole heart, that longing is planted deep inside of us from the very minute we were conceived. The very one who created you and me is the very one who put that longing within us and has always had adoption on His heart… “A father to the fatherless… God sets the lonely in families… for he chose us, in him, before the creation of the world.”

Despite which side of the adoption line each of us falls on, the truth of the matter is this:

(1) Each of us, deep in our souls, when we are totally honest with ourselves, longs to be loved and to belong.

(2) Each and every life on this planet matters and within us we each possess the ability to be a catalyst of change for another person. Why not be that change for 1 of the 143 million orphans in our world?

Let’s take a peak on back at that 7 year old who was left at the train station…

The story is real. The 7 year old has a name; his name is Jia Wang. He lives in China and his father really left him at the train station. For the last three years he has been at an orphanage in China. In December of 2015, Jia got to come to America on an exchange program. He was placed with a family in Jacksonville, FL where he lived for 3.5 weeks. He was shown what the unconditional love and acceptance of a real family looks like. He got to see, in action, what it is like to have a mom and a dad who love you regardless. He got to experience having brothers and sisters who loved him for who he is. Going home in January was the very last thing he wanted to do.

Little did Jia know that in January that family would do a 21-day fast where they would ask: “God, what do you want us to do in 2016?” And God would answer with: “This little on needs to be with his forever family.”

And within 72 hours of requesting to adopt Jia, the Chinese government responded with an emphatic “YES!” They had very nearly been turned down as a possible host family for Jia Wang. Now, in the final phase of the adoption process, Scott and Mindy, wait for the word “go” and stand in humble amazement of how the God that they love has moved mountains, on their behalf, to bring this sweet boy home.

I thus wait and watch daily for that sweet hashtag, that looks something like this: #OrphanNoMore.

Respectfully…
LJ

confessions of a climate change heretic

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[Today is post #4 in our annual, summer Guest Writer Series. Note that the opinions expressed may or may not be held by the Intramuralist.]

 

I wrote “Heretic,” not “Denier,” although I defer to the reader’s judgment as to which label best fits. While I don’t doubt the evidence (at least through the end of 1990’s) that global average temperatures have been steadily increasing, I have misgivings about our understanding of the mechanism driving this change and grave concerns about the commonly championed responses.

One thing is certain in this debate – the global climate is mind-numbingly complex. It is challenging to understand and nearly impossible to mathematically model – as evidenced by the inaccuracy of your local weather forecast a mere 10 days out. I recall my own study of a simpler science, fluid dynamics, where my fellow students and I found it extremely challenging to arithmetically describe the behavior of a fluid flowing past anything beyond the simplest of surfaces. We spent hours building finite difference models that attempted to simulate what was happening in the real world – and even after our best efforts, we would sometimes get results that were directionally incorrect.

I realize I was but a lowly undergraduate student and not to be compared to those commanding a lofty doctoral degree in meteorology. Even so, the experience gave me an appreciation for the difficulties involved in attempting to model anything as complicated as an entire planet’s climate. Such a model would, by necessity, contain thousands of variables and also thousands of assumptions. It would be expected to explain many years of history while also correctly predicting the future. Developing such a tool is a daunting task, so it should come as no surprise that the climate models of the late 90’s have completely failed to predict the last 15 years. As Niels Bohr once famously said, “Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future.” Perhaps someday mankind will develop the ultimate climate model, one that accurately foretells our planet’s past, present, and future, and one that takes into account the human impacts on global temperature. I submit that today, we are not there. Nor can we comfortably accept any model until its predictions are proven through actual experience. How well a model correlates to history is absolutely not enough to justify the potential disruption of the global economy currently contemplated by many climate change advocates.

Does this make me a “climate denier?” I certainly deny the perfection of the “accepted” IPCC climate models. I suppose this makes me a “denier” of sorts. That being admitted, however, I do accept that it is highly likely there is a causal link between human activity and higher global temperatures. Credible theories exist that tie increasing concentrations of CO2 in the atmosphere to increasing energy trapping by our planet. Historical curves that correlate global temperatures with rising CO2 concentration ought to be concerning to everyone. On the time scale of decades, it has been getting warmer. And it is hard to escape the conclusion that human activity is likely a contributing factor.

So what makes me a “climate heretic?” I don’t reject the illness; I simply have a problem with the proposed cure.

If global warming continues unchecked as per the latest IPCC consensus forecast, (which is based on their flawed, but the best available, climate models) we can expect a 1.5-2.5 degree Celcius rise in temperatures by 2100. According to the IPCC second installment, it will cost between 0.2% and 2% of global GDP to adapt to this increase. In other words, while adapting to higher temperatures will require large expenditures, they are less than either of the two World Wars or the Great Depression. Combating climate change, according to the IPCC third installment, will cost upwards of 4% of GDP by 2030, 6% in 2050, and 11% by 2100 – and these numbers may be optimistic as they assume the development of as yet unidentified technologies to combat CO2 emissions. So which is worse? The disease or the cure? If you analyze the situation in purely human terms, adapting to climate change is substantially cheaper than fighting to stop it. Adaptation is expensive. And halting it is economically crippling.

Of course, there is the often-cited argument that climate change will disproportionally impact the poor. If we are relying on this argument as justification for spending trillions of dollars in an attempt to slow and ultimately reverse a warming climate in full gallop, we’re fooling ourselves. There are much more cost-effective ways to help those in poverty. We live in a world where one in six deaths is a result of easily cured infectious diseases. One in eight deaths is caused by air pollution – mainly the result of cooking inside while using twigs or dung as fuel. Do we honestly believe that gradually rising global temperatures figure more prominently into a poor person’s needs than malaria prevention? Or the provision of sanitation and clean water? Or basic medical care?

I don’t disagree that a warming world represents a concerning problem, but it doesn’t seem to merit the degree of alarmism currently ascribed to it. If the world can afford to spend 4% of Global GDP, or 6%, or a mindboggling 11%, then why do we allow millions of people to die each year for a lack of cheap mosquito netting?

The 2015 Paris Agreement alone could cost the US an estimated 0.7 percent of GDP by 2030 and will barely make a detectable dent in temperatures, a minuscule 0.05 degrees C reduction in the projected increase. Given the extremely high costs and uncertainties surrounding our understanding of the climate change phenomenon, a combination of adaptation expenditures and research into economically viable alternative energy options for the longer term certainly seem to represent a better use of limited resources. If we used only ten percent of the resulting “savings” for health improvements and poverty alleviation for third world citizens, the positive impact on humanity would be vastly greater. The total bill to provide clean water and sanitation to those in poverty is a “drop in the bucket” ($10B annually) compared to the spending proposed to manage climate change, and yet the impact on the poor would be vastly larger and more immediate.

Yes, I understand there is a case to be made for preventing the Earth’s climate from charging headlong into unknown territory, a place where it potentially reaches a tipping point that tilts us toward some unforeseen, catastrophic result. But given the astronomical costs and the lackluster track record in our ability to forecast the future (and thus pinpoint that future doomsday scenario bogeyman), it seems prudent to take a more cautious approach to climate change at this time.

So, am I a “climate denier?” Or just a “heretic,” refusing to accept the orthodoxy of the green revolution that is currently in vogue? Or possibly I’m simply chronically short-sighted, overly worried about short-term reductions in human suffering at the expense of placating a vague, looming disaster that will manifest generations later? You, gentle reader, may decide.

Respectfully…
Tom

 

 

nothing compared to a soldier

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[Today is post #3 in our annual, summer Guest Writer Series. Note that the opinions expressed may or may not be held by the Intramuralist.]

 

Why do I like little dogs? I don’t know, but I’m definitely a little dog person.  I adore my 14 pound Westie, but if she were the size of a hamster, I would adore her even more.

So last fall when my son, a lieutenant in the United States Army, told me he was seriously thinking of getting a dog I said, “Hey Buddy, just be sure to get a little dog in case someone (meaning me) has to take care of that dog should you ever be deployed.”  I couldn’t tell whether he shook his head yes or no on the other end of the call, but I was certain I made my point clear.  So he got a Great Dane.

Enter Mozzie, a fawn-colored Great Dane named after a character on a favorite TV show.  Mozzie’s father weighs 175 pounds and drinks out of the kitchen sink.  So much for getting a little dog.

This past March my son deployed to Afghanistan for the better part of a year.  He put his car in storage.  His household goods went to his roommate.  And his dog… well, his dog was another matter.

My husband gave me his own puppy dog look and said, “Oh Sally, we have to take the dog.  Don’t you think we should?” as if this were a 5 month old child who would be left at an orphanage if we didn’t agree to intervene.

“WHY SHOULD I?” I thought.  It’s not a child; it’s a dog.  If this were my son’s child, I would do it in a heartbeat, but c’mon; it’s a dog.  A big dog.   And I TOLD him to get a small dog.  I TOLD him to consider all of this before bringing home Marmaduke with his drooling, shedding, and oh-look-he’s-piddling-on-the-pillow ways. Why did he have to go AMA (“Against Motherly Advice”) and get a small pony instead of a hamster?

As it would happen, Mozzie may be big, but he also has a big heart.  Yes, he is hairy to the point of choking my vacuum cleaner to death, but he hugs us with all his furriness every day. Yes, he takes up the entire sofa, but he scooches over to love on us whenever we join him.  Yes, he has the amazing capacity to carry an entire quart of water in his jowls from the bowl to my lap, but those floppy jowls make for adorable pictures that warm my son’s heart in Afghanistan.

As sweet as Moz is, I have asked myself “Why” a thousand times?  Why am I doing this?  My life was free of hassles. Now I care for a four-legged toddler who chews, slobbers, and toots (which, incidentally, smell like a port-a-potty on a 120 degree day).  All this craziness, thanks to my son!   And that’s when it hit me.  That’s what taking care of Mozzie is.  It is a way of giving thanks… to my son. Not just the son I raised as a boy, but the son who serves as a US Soldier.  That’s what I think of when hair is sticking to my lip.  This is all for a Soldier.  That Soldier just happens to be my son.

What I have given up is nothing compared to what Soldiers go through.  Deployment forces our brave men and women to give up the ability to see their friends, their family, and yes, even the pets they adore to make sure the rest of us are able to do so whenever we choose.

That is why I consider it all joy to care for my son’s Gentle Giant. I even forget that I ever had doubts about taking on this lovable loaf.  Rather, I see it as a way to give back just a little bit for a Soldier who is giving his all for me.

Respectfully…
Sally

children matter

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[Today is post #2 in our annual, summer Guest Writer Series. Note that the opinions expressed may or may not be held by the Intramuralist.]

 

Black Lives Matter…White Lives Matter…Cops Lives Matter… I am so tired of hearing these overused phrases. Bottom line: We All Matter. More importantly, Our Children Matter. What are we teaching them with all of this hate and violence going on in America right now?

When I was a child, I would leave my house in the morning and play most of the day and well into the evening with my friends and cousins. We would stop in to one of our homes for a bite to eat and then we were back out to ride our bikes, climb trees, capture the imaginary “bad” guys, build forts, and just be kids. We checked in with our parents from time to time but we were free to wander the neighborhood and play. It was a care-free time for all of us, and our parents never really worried about our safety other than maybe a rare broken bone or need for stitches from time to time. Life was simple and life was good.

It makes me sad that children today will never experience this type of innocence. Sure, they still play outside but most, only with adult supervision. They can’t hop on their bikes and ride to their friends’ houses on the other side of the neighborhood without mom or dad following closely. They can’t skip from house to house and make their own lunches without an adult or older sibling being present. They can’t catch lightning bugs or play kick the can in the evenings without someone watching after them. The care-free days of letting kids be kids are gone. Evil has replaced goodness in our society. At some point over the past 50 years, life has changed, and not for the better. Life is no longer simple and life no longer holds the purity and naivety that it once did.

That being said, I believe that every child is born innocent and good, with a pure heart. Each child is absent of evil and hate. However, life experiences teach children bad things. The news media floods society with horrible stories virtually 24 hours a day. You rarely hear of stories where good prevails over evil. News outlets fight to break stories of disgusting, criminal activities. As parents, we can try to shield our children of these things, yet with access to technology, children still find out atrocities that are happening each and every day of their lives. They see the bad and they learn the hate that is prevailing in our world.

Even our political leaders are tainted. We have two Americans running for the highest political office that have less than stellar pasts. It is sad that a country as great as America once was, can’t nominate two better individuals than what we have. I am scared to think of what the country will be for our children and our grandchildren when they become adults. How can we expect America to return to goodness and honor when we continue to elect sub-par, corrupt leaders?

The only way we are going to instill the love and goodness back into our children and society is to start at home with the most basic family unit. We, as parents, must lead our children and teach them respect and dignity. We need to get back to the days of spanking our kids or grounding them and holding them responsible for their actions. We need to get away from participation trophies; celebrate the wins and acknowledge the losses. Our children need to see us doing random acts of kindness for others. We need to donate our time and take our children with us to learn the importance of this act of goodness. We need to enjoy nature and show our kids all of its beauty. We need to smile at others and hold the door for people. Let your children see you doing these things.

I know we all try to be good and strive to be better people; however, a breakdown of society has happened and will continue to happen if we don’t do something to change it. We must change these news reports of civil unrest, mass shootings, the killing of police, rape, murder, robberies, etc. as the norm for our children as they grow into adulthood.

I leave you with the words from Tim Mc Graw’s recently released song, titled “Humble and Kind.” May these lyrics encourage all of us, remembering them as we go through our days and raise our children:

You know there’s a light that glows by the front door
Don’t forget the keys under the mat
When childhood starts shine, always stay humble and kind
Go to church cause your momma says too
Visit grandpa every chance that you can
It won’t be wasted time.

Hold the door say please say thank you
Don’t steal, don’t cheat, and don’t lie
I know you got mountains to climb but
Always stay humble and kind.
When the dreams you’re dreamin come to you
When the work you put in is realized
Let yourself feel the pride but
Always stay humble and kind.

Don’t expect a free ride from no one
Don’t hold a grudge or a chip and here’s why
Bitterness keeps you from flying
Always stay humble and kind.
Know the difference with sleeping with someone
And sleeping with someone you love
I love you ain’t no pick up line so
Always stay humble and kind.

Hold the door say please say thank you
Don’t steal, don’t cheat, and don’t lie
I know you got mountains to climb but
Always stay humble and kind.
When the dreams you dreamin come to you
When the work you put in is realized
Let yourself feel the pride but
Always stay humble and kind.

When it’s hot, eat a root-beer popsicle
Shut off the AC and roll the windows down
Let that summer sun shine
Always stay humble and kind
Don’t take for granted the love this life gives you
When you get where you goin’
Don’t forget turn back around
And help the next one in line
Always stay humble and kind.

Sincerely…
LS

tensions diffused at the table

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Sometimes it helps me to wait a little bit before I react. A little bit of pause and reflection often provides perspective. That perspective then alters emotion, typically in a more prudent way.

I’ve watched the country react to the recent racial tragedies. My heart hurts most for the families of the lives who were lost.

Allow me to say that I assume with more days to follow, more will be added to my perspective. I pray that I will always be fervent in the search for increased, varied perspective. The more we only seek out the likeminded — and immediately dismiss all others — means the more we are unknowingly stunting our own maturity and growth.

So let’s deal with this maturely… What’s happened in recent days has been awful…
What happened in Minneapolis was awful. What happened in Dallas was awful. What happened in Tennessee, Missouri, Louisiana, etc. — also awful. Can we admit that all were awful?

My sense — albeit granted, from a very limited vantage point — is that there exists a significant group of people in this country who feel as if black men and women continue to be treated without equal dignity and respect in all areas of life — especially in the eyes of law enforcement. Please note: this is a peaceful group. And whether or not another agrees or disagrees with this perception, it does not change the fact that a significant group of people believes this to be true.

There exists another group of people — embedded within the same identified movement — that is not peaceful. Existing side-by-side with the peaceful people is a group of people that is radical… violent… that is actually calling for the killing of cops. They are the people that cannot see that all of the above are awful. This group is part of the problem.

If we are going to build any unity on this issue that has spiraled out of control in recent years — due also in part, I believe, to the simultaneous increase in the use of social media to promote desired perspective — we need to honestly wrestle with all parts of the problem…

We need to acknowledge how people feel — whether we share their opinion or not…
We need to refrain from labeling entire people groups…
We need to refrain from labeling entire professions…
And we must not demonize any.

To suggest or imply that either all or the clear majority of African-Americans or police officers are racist or wrong is not helpful nor accurate. To portray them as somehow two opposite sides of the same coin is also wrong. Demonizing them only adds to the problem.

“Black Lives Matter” is an acceptable hashtag and sincere movement. As I’ve listened and learned from many of you, the peaceful BLM articulators are not saying that other lives matter less; they are instead drawing attention to how they have long felt less valued; and many are concerned for their children. I do not advocate any stage or circumstance that causes our brothers and sisters to feel less valued.

That is also true of law enforcement. I do not advocate any stage or circumstance that causes them to feel less valued or respected. They deserve our highest respect.

And let me be clear — there is no place for the intentional targeting of African-Americans or policemen. Neither deserves to be targeted. Neither deserves to be demonized.

But the challenge is that too many are embedded among the sincere who do not see the totality of the big picture. They do not see that “neither deserves to be demonized.” And so they push for the demonization. They intentionally disrespect. They say one wrong makes for a right. And come hell, high water, or whatever they wish to call it, they don’t care who they hurt. And thus, they hurt us all.

We’ve long had a saying in our house, encouraging all to “come to the table.” Come to the table. All are welcome, come as they might. The beauty of the table is that everyone has an equal place; it’s a place to learn from the others who are there. Truly, all are welcome. We talk and share and laugh and cry. Some of the conversations are tough, but everyone listens well; they listen to the one who feels differently than they. There’s a raw, honest exchange of ideas among the like — and unlike — minded. There’s an authentic sharpening, as all are deeply respected.

Right now in our culture, though, with the demonization and the encouraged choosing of so-called “sides,” I see some attempting to put all onus on someone else. It’s as if they’re attempting to deny another their spot at the table.

There is no place for that. We need listening. We need respect. We need humility, forgiveness, repentance, and a huge, interactive give-and-take. But it only starts when the demonization is no more — and all take their seat, fellowshipping finally, sweetly at the table together.

Respectfully…
AR

agreeing on what’s bad

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As I wrestle with reaction to recent current events, I find myself mentally thumbing through the mantra of why we can’t somehow just all get along. We don’t. We won’t. And thus there seems too much infighting to make any authentic progression. So our means of crafting solution becomes less about listening, respecting, and evaluating varied viewpoint; it instead becomes more about recruiting others to our supposed side. If recruitment is significantly successful, listening, respecting, and evaluating varied viewpoint become no longer necessary.

What I’ve noticed in our recent infighting, is that we can’t even agree on what is bad.

I’ll say that again: we can’t agree on what is bad. We fight about even that. Where is the moral clarity? What is the definition of right and wrong? Does such exist any more?

Most of us (most of the time) agree with what is right… love, joy, peace, patience, perseverance, kindness, charity, etc. But agreeing with what is bad is harder for us.

The most succinct, complete list seems embedded in the ancient scriptures. Let me offer an abbreviated paraphrase:

  1. No other gods, only me.
  2. No carved gods of any size, shape, or form of anything whatever.
  3. No using the name of God, your God, in curses or silly banter.
  4. Observe the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.
  5. Honor your father and mother.
  6. No murder.
  7. No adultery.
  8. No stealing.
  9. No lies about your neighbor.
  10. No lusting after your neighbor’s house, wife, possessions, etc.

A couple commands would benefit from added explanation… The idea of “no carved gods of any size, shape,” whatever, for example, means that our own two hands cannot create something that authentically serves as a god.

Secondly, regarding the call to honor the Sabbath… I suppose we each do that differently; but I think the underlying idea is similar to being intentional in setting a time aside each week to be still — to thank and reflect upon the One who made us… resting… recognizing this world isn’t and has never been “all about me.”

Today’s challenge comes in the other eight commandments. I don’t think we agree anymore that those are really so bad…

Honor your father and mother? (… well, until those parents don’t raise you the way the rest of us think they should…)

Adultery? (… well, sometimes you were just meant to be with someone else… if it feels right, it must be right…)

And no lies? No lusting? (… oh, come on… we all do that!)

My point is that what’s bad has digressed into a point of contention.

Note that when a person walks up D.C.’s First Street steps to the majestic Supreme Court Building, near the top of the building is a sculpted row of the world’s historic law givers. Most of the figures face the man in the middle who is facing forward; it is Moses holding the Ten Commandments. Fascinating in regard to the acknowledged infighting, in recent years some have argued what Moses is holding; they are two stone tablets… but, as some contend… There’s no visible writing on the tablets… Moses could have been holding something else!

I suggest that a single, even halfhearted viewing of Charlton Heston’s most epic role will leave little doubt what Moses could and would be holding.

That’s it. We fight about it. If we can diminish any significance of the Ten Commandments — as noted by their prominence in the highest court of the land — then we can justify acting as if what they actually say isn’t that bad.

But if we can’t agree on what’s bad, it’s pretty hard to discern what’s actually good.

Respectfully…
AR