This past weekend I had dinner with several couples, celebrating a birthday in one of their families. Over the course of the evening’s festivities — full of food, fun, laughs, and excellent dialogue, there came a moment which later would cause me to pause. The conversation turned political.
It wasn’t a sharp conversation, nor anything intentionally rude or harsh or demeaning of someone or something. It was obvious, however, as the conversation progressed, that one couple felt something deeply… something sincerely…
And so I asked…
“Do you feel respected for what you believe here?” [Note: in the context, “here” meant the area in which we live — not at our table.]
There was an immediate, honest “no.”
Let me use a word I typically attempt to avoid… I hate that. I hate it when anyone feels disrespected.
So let me be clear on who “anyone” is…
Anyone is the person at your table who is pro-life or pro-choice… anyone is the person at your table who adheres or not to an organized faith… anyone is the person who is for or against gay marriage… anyone is the person who believes in amnesty or instant deportation… anyone is the person who thinks the same as you — or not.
Once again I am humbly reminded that we are not respectful of just “anyone.” That grieves me.
Friends, respect does not mean immediate acceptance of all opinion as equally good and true. Respect means listening, seeking to understand, and resisting the temptation to become the convictor of truth in another’s life. Far too often we justify disrespect…
… they’ve said too many stupid things…
… they’re just lost…
… they’re so misguided…
You know what? There are many times in my own life where I’ve said stupid things… I’ve been lost… I’ve been misguided. No doubt there are areas and issues in which I’m currently misguided — some of which I know, as I can sense the internal pruning — and some of which I don’t. I am open to and deeply desire that growth. I also have no doubt that “anyone” will be used to teach me.
My questions today are simple…
Who’s at your table?
And who are you justifying disrespecting?
Humbly…
AR