Month: July 2025

[Welcome to our annual Guest Writer Series, a time in which we are intentional in listening to other voices. Know that AR may/may not agree with the perspective expressed. Know, too, that agreement is secondary to learning from others. Meet Guest Writer #6!]

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It’s the summer of 2019, and my parents and I traversed the wonderful world of Disney in Orlando, Florida. This was our last hurrah before my wedding, and we were graciously hosted by AR and her family. While we took a break in the shade, hiding from the summer sun, AR asked me a question that would ring in my ears for months. I had just mentioned to her that I was in graduate school for clinical psychology, and she asked:

“Do you see God through psychology, or psychology through God?”

Great question, right? I thought so, and I kept thinking about it. From one end, psychology is entirely about relationships, and seeing relationships through God means applying His values. On a basic level, God created humans with the explicit focus on connection—God and the Son, Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, and the list goes on. There is rarely a section in Scripture without relationships. Scripture also provides a guide on how to treat others based on God’s will. If the Bible teaches relationships—with the Creator or fellow creation—then it’s easy to see relationships through God.

On the other hand, I can also see God through relationships. Relationships are the cognitive connections we have with everything. However, these are often subject to change. Not everyone’s parents treated them the same, creating different attitudes toward parents. Someone can have wonderful parents, and they likely think parents are great. On the other hand, if someone is abused or battered by their parents, they probably don’t think the same thing. If harmful parenting is dished out by people who claim to know who Jesus is, then a relationship is formed.

In my work, that is the prevailing connection for those who no longer practice Christianity. If someone claims their faith is transformative, yet they put you in danger and make you feel pain, then a negative relationship forms. The typical response I receive around this point is, “Well, we’re all fallen,” and while true, this doesn’t change psychology. Yes, you are allowed to have flaws, but you’re not allowed to use the fall of humanity as a scapegoat for poor choices. As much as you are openly a believer, you are as much an ambassador for your faith. This doesn’t mean other people are responsible for your faith, but they can influence it. Seeing God through relationships is all through mental connections, because many of them are between our ears.

While we create relationships with the outside world, we develop relationships with our inner world as well. With something called metacognition, we can think about our thoughts and have thoughts about our feelings. Our relationship with our own basic awareness can be affected by outside events such as traumatic experiences, gaslighting, and so on. If our relationship with our own thoughts and emotions can be changed, so can our relationship with God. The mental concept of God—whom you cannot touch, see, or hear—is easily subject to influence.

After considering each side, which do I take? Do I see God through psychology or psychology through God? Although lame, my answer is both. Relationships are the foundation of psychology, but Scripture teaches how to navigate those relationships with God’s values. Through creation, we were given the capacity to have meaningful connections but also to be susceptible to negative ones. Psychology is not competitive with Christianity; it’s the tool that allows you to stay true to those values. Cognitive relationships can be barriers to your faith, so removing them through therapy is conducive to being a faithful servant.

Ironically, there’s a relationship between these relationships—something I didn’t recognize before Disney World, 2019. My friends in the hot Florida sun, made through shared faith, caused me to think about God through relationships. I’m lucky to know ambassadors of faith who would encourage me to reflect this way. While it was only a passing question, it’s managed to stick in my brain ever since.

Respectfully…

CLB

[Welcome to our annual Guest Writer Series, a time in which we are intentional in listening to other voices. Know that AR may/may not agree with the perspective expressed. Know, too, that agreement is secondary to learning from others. Meet Guest Writer #5!]

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Most everyone who gets married in Western civilization in a religious ceremony hear pretty much the same words repeated by their clergy. Included in the dialogue is usually something about “richer or poorer” and “better or worse.” I have to believe like everyone else who gets married, I only heard the part about “better.” Surely the “worse” part would only be for others – right? This past June my wife and I celebrated our 40^th year wedding anniversary. So I suppose that gives me license to make commentary on the better or worse pronouncement. We have seen and experienced both, either personally or with others close to us. However, some of the most significant things that affected us and the entire world were larger than personal. 

In 1985 in the middle of the Reagan years and in the middle of New York City (NYC), 2 very nice 23 years old “kids” tied the knot. The wedding ceremony and the reception was a most traditional evening. We paid for most of the wedding through our own funding. The honeymoon that followed was fairytale like indeed. After that the world just seemed to change significantly. I write this not as someone who has studied history formally, but rather as someone who has paid attention to life’s many, diverse events. In some cases, some of the events that were seemingly worse have gotten better, while others that were better, have gotten worse. Some remain in the “wait and see” category. 

One such event which I consider to be better today was the dual epidemic: the crack (cocaine) and AIDS plague which affected our entire society. Having lived in NYC during the 1980s, it seems these twin plagues hit the area pretty badly. The image of the neighborhood “crackheads” were prominent on street corners in many areas of the city. What was not seen were the many crack users who were using and still functioning in society. The “Just Say No” campaign made popular by First Lady Nancy Reagan did not end this crisis. But it did help to bring attention to a very serious problem in our society. More resources and education about addiction lessened the crack epidemic to today’s level. While not good, there is much more awareness. AIDS (the other part of the diabolical duo) or as it is usually coupled with the term HIV/AIDS was officially declared as an official condition in 1982 after many years of not properly defining what it was. HIV/AIDS, while certainly not eradicated, is now being controlled with education, drug and nutritional therapies to combat its effects. Having prominent people like Earvin “Magic” Johnson being diagnosed and bringing the ailment to being something that could affect anyone brought this into the understanding of not being just an isolated illness that affected only gay males. We were all vulnerable to this virus. The United Nations reports that today over 30 million people worldwide are being treated successfully against the virus.

One late Tuesday morning on January, 28 1986 right before lunch, the Space Shuttle “Challenger” exploded after launch. That day is a burnt indelible memory for me because I was working on Wall Street and everything stopped. We had a black and white TV in the computer room where I worked. Many crowded in to watch the news of this horrible event; it seemed like it was the worst moment for our space industry and our country. Fortunately, the Space Shuttle program resumed seemingly successfully until a similar fate happened to the Space Shuttle Columbia upon re-entry in February 2003. The space program has always been an iconic American success story despite some accidents over the years. The Space Shuttle program finally ended in 2011 much to my sadness. I found it exhilarating watching those launches whenever possible in the past. As a country we are now relying on other countries such as Russia to both take us into space as well as return us. That does not give me a good feeling to know we are so reliant on other countries — especially countries that may have hostile intent toward us. There is a new emergence of space programs such as SpaceX and Blue Origin with promises of further exploration. So I’m going to leave this one in the “wait and see”. 

Of course, 9/11 is a defiant moment in every American life. We all woke up to what we thought could be the end of the world as we know it (to use a cliché). I think I can say without hesitation that this was the moment when our country felt militarily most vulnerable since Pearl Harbor. The subsequent wars in the Middle-East to quell those threats were mostly crushed militarily. We are concerned that many of the conditions that caused people to attack us might still be festering. The Middle East has always seemed to be the powder keg for many crisis around the world. 

When I worked in the computer room on Wall Street in the early 80s, we use a large IBM 360 mainframe customer. The computer was described then as a super computer. I worked with a computer that took a whole room to house and maintain it. Apple introduced the Macintosh computer in a commercial during the 1984 Super Bowl game. Since then, computers and its electronic partners dominate our lives; in our home there are more computers, TVs and smart phones than there are people. That seems somewhat out of proportion, but I think that reflects most households in America. The new Artificial Intelligence (AI) concern brings both hope and concern of how this new phase in computer technology will affect our society. There is always the fear that “the machines are taking over.” I, for one, believe we can use this technology for our benefit. With this new technology, doctors can get quicker and faster diagnoses; weather forecasts can be more accurate; communication can be improved. I believe if we put in proper controls and checks and balances, it can be to our benefit as a society.

So there are a hundred other things I could have referenced over the past 40 years on this “better or worse” journey, but I just picked a few things that most can relate to on a personal level. I am an optimist by nature. Not in the rose-colored glasses version of an optimist, but I know every challenge can be mitigated with the right approach. So I choose to see the world for better. That is my hope and also my prayer.

Respectfully…

DG 

[Welcome to our annual Guest Writer Series, a time in which we are intentional in listening to other voices. Know that AR may/may not agree with the perspective expressed. Know, too, that agreement is secondary to learning from others. Meet Guest Writer #4!]

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Growing up I would hear older folks talking about someone being “odd-turned,” “peculiar,” “weird”, or “just not normal,” followed by “I just don’t know about that boy.” 

Their observations were correct. These individuals were not like other folks. Fortunately, there have always been people who appreciated differences. I remember the people who would not complain about those who were different but had an innate sense that they needed to be more insightful and were kind. I heard one lady say, “They are just who they are. God don’t make no junk. We need to look for their gifts.” That has always stuck with me.

The people I referenced would now be diagnosed with a neurodevelopment disorder. They were indeed different than those around them. Brains of those with neurodevelopment disorder process information differently. But that is only half the story. The other half story is about who they are as people. What gifts do these “abnormal processors” possess? They are more than their diagnosis especially since it is estimated that about 30% of the population has a neurodevelopment disorder.

As parents, teachers, doctors, neighbors, community members we have a responsibility to treat others like we want to be treated. When learning about others it is important for us to take responsibility for our reactions to others who may look or act in a manner different from the “normal” way of doing things. We have a responsibility to understand and to try to help them be included. This may involve teaching them boundaries or understanding their form or participation will be unique. Likewise, they have the responsibility of understanding they are different and sometimes may need to self-impose boundaries on themselves because when they perseverate or don’t understand how their intensity negatively affects others, things can be quite unpleasant for all. All may misunderstand the other.

We need to reflect on our own responses to those who are different. Sometimes  our reactions are cruel because we are not sure of what to do. For example, we may judge the parent of the child who is excessively hyper, has explosive tantrums, and/or mood swings by criticizing their parenting style. Sometimes they are also trying to figure it out. The are exhausted by the intensity of their child’s abnormal reaction to normal corrective measures and responses that just do not work with those who have neurodivergent processing. It is a process for all involved because it is ever present and the person does not “grow out of it.” We can all learn to adapt appropriately, but this take time and energy.

Families need support and understanding, not judgment. They, too, are learning how to best support and teach their child basic expectations. There is no one method. It takes a combination of counseling, behavior techniques, medication, and sometimes just a kind word. Too often we ask what is wrong with them because they make us uncomfortable instead of us asking what we can do to assist them. Often our outside perspective does not lend a fair assessment of others’ situations. 

As our understanding of brain function has increased so has our understanding of how to react to those who process differently. Neurodevelopment disorders like autism spectrum disorder (ASD), attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), intellectual developmental disorders, communication and motor disorders sometimes are difficult for others to understand because they are not always visible. 

Perspectives develop differently because neurotransmitters fire differently. Neurodiversity is not a specific condition but a term that has become popular to better understand how those who were considered “abnormal.” During the 1990’s that there was a movement to start delving into this topic. Like individuals who have suffered great trauma, the research emphasized “why” the individual reacted to his or her environment and understanding how the differences can be strengths instead of just saying they were abnormal. The greater the understanding, the more inclusive we became as a society understanding their unique gifts. 

Those with extreme differences require extreme patience coupled with an understanding the individual did not choose to be this way. It is a condition of birth, not a condition of choice. When you parent or teach a young person with these unique characteristics, it takes strength to know each child’s tolerance and ability to adapt. It is exhausting at times especially when others do not understand. It takes intentional strategies to teach self-regulation so there becomes an understanding of what it means to work within the normal range of behaviors. Setting boundaries and teaching these coping skills are vital to all people integrating successfully into society.

Appreciating neurodivergent gifts is not easy. Sometimes the characteristics are so outstanding we cannot but hail their accomplishments. But we always must weigh the good and bad. The deed may be outside of appropriate limits. It is part of this journey. Neurodiversity gifts can outshine the “normal” limits in areas of enhanced problem solving, heightened creativity, unusual ability to remember information, attention to detail, increased analytical abilities, patten recognition, endurance, empathy, honesty, and loyalty.  

We have an obligation to understand others. We all have gifts to share.

Respectfully…

VEE

[Welcome to our annual Guest Writer Series, a time in which we are intentional in listening to other voices. Know that AR may/may not agree with the perspective expressed. Know, too, that agreement is secondary to learning from others. Meet Guest Writer #3!]

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A VOLUNTEER — What is that?

The usual definition of that word refers to someone who works for no pay and responds to a need. I think of volunteers who do that for me. My little Minnesota hometown has a volunteer Fire Department. Any of us who have been in a hospital have been escorted to our destination by a volunteer, and if admitted, our room has been readied by a volunteer while another brings us water, flowers, mail, etc. And all of us are connected to a person who has been or is a volunteer for the military to serve our country. My point is that we are all the beneficiaries of volunteers.

A VOLUNTEER — Who does that?

I think of the volunteers who inspire us, who are role models. There is my friend Craig who plants, waters, weeds, and harvests at a community garden where all the food from it is given to the needy. I think of a lady who wore out her thumbs knitting, so she decided to learn brailing, and puts textbooks and recipes into brail for the vision impaired. I remember a mentor who was bedridden who became a prayer warrior saying she could do that from her bed. My own parents upon retirement volunteered at the local hospital, Mom as a seamstress, and Dad, a large man, an orderly who could easily lift and turn patients, and is needed could speak German to a less than cooperative patient. The love of my life, as part of a Habitat for Humanity crew, in sweaty heat, pounded nails to build homes for people he would never meet. 

A VOLUNTEER — Why not me?

So what about me? Do we volunteer, saying, “Yes, because it makes me feel good!” Well, I think that is a serendipity. I prefer to think of the Scriptural admonition, “To whom much is given much is required.” However, when we hear this, we define “much” by our bank account. But “much” has a far broader meaning. It can be a skill, a talent, our knowledge, our time. So, why volunteer?  Because we can. Because we should. Because it makes a difference. Because it is the right thing to do.

Many years ago these “becauses” were impressed upon by two different sources, both of which were affirmed for my “because.” One came from a grad school professor who was a marvelous teacher. He asked us to keep in mind that everyone carries around an imaginary bucket and that in every encounter we either put something into the bucket or we take something out of that bucket. Volunteers fill buckets.

And then there are the words of the poet who wrote:

Respectfully…

DWL