I learned a lesson last week. I learned the “code” of social media. Not to be confused with the proverbial dress code, dating code, or universal bro code — each which are unfortunately, ostentatiously, sometimes broken — social media has its own understood, accepted protocol. For example…
Indirect tweeting is an art form.
The teens are all on Twitter because the parents invaded Facebook.
Parents can “like” or “favorite” their kid’s status, but comments will negatively impact any coolness factor.
Insulting tweets are totally acceptable if they are retaliatory.
And…
Success is measured by the number of “favorites” and “retweets.”
Let me be the first to acknowledge the good that can come from social media. Among the many benefits, I am thankful that social media is a time saver. It allows us to connect with friends across the years and countries and that we otherwise may have lesser time for; it keeps us in touch.
It also gives us insight into how other generations are thinking. I love having extended, effective avenues to communicate with my kids — especially when they’re stuck in those adolescent stages of not wanting to share too much.
I additionally see social media applying pressure to some areas that otherwise might quietly fade away. I think of the spotlight social media has placed on trending topics — from the areas of semi-subtle government overreach to the recent abuses of not so subtle professional football players. Social media has prolonged the conversation and thus the attention on important topics.
Let me say, too, though, that social media can be dangerous. For example…
… One liners now count as communication; a response qualifies as dialogue. Insults are accepted — even thought to be good and true, especially if exceptionally witty. Respect for other people is secondary to the right to express oneself. Self-focus reigns. Hurting people is justified. Listening is not encouraged.. And… If I feel it, I can say it, post it, take a pic and broadcast it, because what I want matters most. In other words, social media can sometimes act as an arrogant, selfish, foolishly accepted platform. What are we teaching our younger generations?
This week I had the unfortunate experience of witnessing an emotional drama publicly play out in the Twitter universe. One person says something… another person says something else… the first justifies the next… the next justifies more. There was arrogance, insults, justification for foolish behavior, yada yada yada.
But let me tell you what it was not. It was not healthy conversation. It was not respectful dialogue. It was people who think they’re grown up all hurting one another, and justifying it along the way. The challenge for this semi-humble observer is that I love the many persons engaged in the interaction. I wanted to shout out and say, “What are you doing?! Do you not know how to speak to each other? Do you not know how to have conversation? Do you not know that social media can be dangerous?” Sadly, obviously not. They couldn’t hear me.
The biggest danger of social media is that people think they’re listening when they’re not. They think they’re communicating when they’re not. And they think what they’re doing is wise… when by all means it’s not.
Respectfully…
AR