What are we doing? Where is our patience with one another? Why do we insist others cater to us and our needs and beliefs?
Yesterday my youngest son and I took the convivial trip to Costco. Costco always seems a big deal in our family. Maybe it’s because a person always comes back with “stuff”… lots of stuff. Everything at Costco seems to come in big packages. Among my singular packages were 7 frozen pizzas, 70 ounces of cereal, and 7,000 rolls of toilet paper (… ok, so I may be exaggerating on the toilet paper). Suffice it to say, when we left the nation’s second largest retailer, our cart was full.
As many are aware, my youngest son has Down syndrome. Some see that as a negative; we do not; but one of the so-called perks that comes with the perceived negativity is the opportunity to receive one of those blue and white placards that dangles from your rearview mirror, allowing you to park closer to the building, when your child is in the car. With a fairly full parking lot, yesterday we utilized our perk.
I felt a little lucky yesterday; granted, I think the words “lucky” and “blessing” are often misused and confused. But this day we were able to park in the spot closest to the warehouse. After making our rounds and returning to our car, another shopper was instantly, eagerly waiting for our coveted spot. The elderly driver and his wife were stopped in the lane, with their convenient blinker already in use.
Now as much as possible, I invite my son to join me in typical tasks. That means I sometimes sacrifice a speed or efficiency that perhaps alone I could accomplish, but the benefit and encouragement is worth far more. When loading the car, we dropped a few non-essential items, but we quickly recovered, teaching all the time. Josh then asked to return the cart to the corral by himself. He stopped after a few short steps, asking me for affirmation in his direction. At that point, I heard it. The elderly man with his blinker honked at me.
He honked at me.
I was shocked. My first thought was “no way… no way did that older couple just do that.” But after my pregnant pause and realizing the reality of the situation — and also not one to shy away from reality — I turned to look at the driver. He motioned to me with both hands. I looked at him, directly in the eye, paused, smiling slightly, putting one hand out with a “halt-like” motion, and said, “Wait. You can wait.”
Here was an older man suggesting that my son and I should hurry so that his needs could be met.
Such made me wonder. How often do we do exactly the same thing? … moments where we think another should cater to our needs and agree with our direction or beliefs — or else, if they don’t act or think as we desire, we speak or do something disrespectful in order to bring attention to them?
Maybe we don’t lay on the horn, but still, we give others little room or time if things aren’t as we desire. We don’t embrace the concept of patience as a virtue if it interferes with our individual passion. We want it our way now. We want people to meet our needs now. We want people to think like us now.
When I finally returned to my driver’s seat, I kept thinking, “He honked at me… he actually honked at me.” I then laughed out loud, shook my head a bit, wishing we all had more patience — and wisdom — when dealing with others.
Respectfully…
AR