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godwin’s law

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In 1990, Mike Godwin, a lawyer and author, observed that in online conversations someone will eventually invoke the war against fascism. While social media has evolved into an arena in which respectful conversation is often, sadly, justifiably eliminated, such a phenomena is not limited to the online conversation.

Godwin framed what became known as “Godwin’s Law.” He surmised that, ”As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1” — that is, if an online discussion (regardless of topic or scope) goes on long enough, sooner or later someone will compare someone or something to Hitler or Nazism.

I’d like to refute Godwin’s so-called law.

However…

In 2013… Geoffrey Grider, the founder of “Now The End Begins,” penned a piece identifying the “13 Similarities Between Obama And Hitler” in a so-called “factual comparison.” He compared the sitting American president to Adolf Hitler.

In 2009, author Dick W. Zylstra, published a book about Pres. George W. Bush entitled “Little Hitler,” comparing America’s then previous president to Hitler; he especially pounced on Bush regarding his perceived use of “big lies” to achieve his goals.

And now in 2016, I see current American Republican frontrunner Donald Trump increasingly compared to the German dictator.

I have one thing to say…

Please.

Far too many politicians have lied. Big lies… small lies… manipulative, rhetorical lies. I can’t believe they all lie, but far too many seem to find it the easiest thing to do. Far too many have also seemingly put their personal ambitions above what may be best for our country — and that reference affects both parties — still today. I’ll go out on a semi-stable limb here, and suggest such may include both current party front-runners. I don’t know; my perception is limited. But neither candidate is Adolf Hitler; neither should be compared to a man who may be best described as the ugly manifestation of evil on this planet.

Adolf Hilter murdered millions.

He advocated the killing of the innocent simply because they were Jewish…

… simply because they were disabled…

… simply because they were related to any of the above…

Obama, Bush, Trump, etc. — with all due respect — cannot accurately be compared to Adolf Hitler; they are not he.

My increasing sense is that while many recognize the obvious disrespect evident via actual, disrespectful name-calling, they remain comfortable with disrespectful comparisons; and their comfort in actually employing the Nazi comparison often seems more prompted by their lack of comfort with an Obama, Bush, Trump or Clinton presidency…

There was only one Adolf Hitler.

Thank God.

My only wish is that there was none.

Respectfully…
AR

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learning from the locker room

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The tributes have poured in from across the country — from teammates, fans, celebrities and stars…

From former NBA’er, Allen Iverson: “Congrats to the best EVER! Peyton Manning! Thanks for GIVING US U!!!”

From actor Rob Lowe: “Peyton Manning’s farewell speech: a clinic on class, gratitude, humor, intellect and emotion. Football’s GOAT ambassador moves on. #18.” [“GOAT” refers to the sports acronym of “Greatest Of All Time.”]

From Tiger Woods: “It was an honor to watch #18 for all these years. He revolutionized the position. Now we can play more golf in the future, but this time I need shots. Also my Raiders have a better chance of finishing higher than 4th in the division now.”

From Indianapolis owner, Jim Irsay: “Few have left their marks on a sport as Peyton Manning has. Simply put, he revolutionized NFL football.”

From Denver legend, John Elway: “Peyton was a player that guys wanted to play with. The impact he has made and will continue to make to youth is second to none.”

And from New England, respected rival, Tom Brady: “Congratulations Peyton, on an incredible career. You changed the game forever and made everyone around you better. It’s been an honor.”

When a good man walks away — a person whose integrity is solid — people notice; the man will be missed. It was clear on Monday, when Peyton Manning retired from the NFL after 18 years, that he indeed will be deeply missed.

As a longtime Colts fan (although paling more than slightly in comparison to my older brother, a clear Manning aficionado), I enjoyed many of the insights and stories shared as a tribute. People spoke of his character and his work ethic; they spoke about his talent; and so many remarked about Manning’s meticulous preparation, a readiness that seemed second to none. One story, though, stood out to me, especially relevant here.

It wasn’t a story, however, that appeared on the front pages or web headlines; it went arguably unnoticed; and if shared, it was buried perhaps in the middle of longer commentaries of seemingly greater significance. But there was something deeper laced within the perspective that made me think of all those who desire to lead us now…

It was shared in a reflection between Bill Polian and Jeff Saturday — an executive and player who worked with Manning in Indianapolis. They spoke about Peyton’s locker room…

Most all pro football players dress, prepare, wind and unwind before and after games fairly near each other in their respective team locker rooms; the individual quarters are notoriously close to one another. The quarterbacks, however — especially the more well known in the league — typically have more segregated quarters. They have space roped off, allowing more room for both self and media interest.

That, though, was not the way of Peyton Manning.

Choosing to forgo the option of more isolated quarters, Manning chose to locker with his offensive line. He could have claimed a rightful space all his own, but he did not. He purposely chose to change along with the men who would protect him on the gridiron — interact with those whose names rarely show up in the headlines. Manning was building relationships of trust through routine, locker room activity. In other words, he forwent personal privilege for the purpose of building relationships and enhancing communication. His actions — which spoke far louder than his words — showed he never looked down on those whose role was different; he never thought of others as lesser.

Question (and especially relevant here): how are our leaders, truly servant leaders? How many are willing to forgo personal privilege because the organization they lead would be better served by their sacrifice?

Which then makes me ask: how many leaders have been as effective and successful as Peyton Manning?

Respectfully…
AR

 

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pride

photo-1441038718687-699f189fa401Every now and then, as each of my great writer friends will attest, there’s a great section of a great chapter in a great book that stands out for all time… a section that stays with you long after the book is set down…

I think of chapter 11 from the iconic “To Kill a Mockingbird,” when Atticus Finch gives Scout a basic, profound lesson in how racism works, at one point saying: “ ‘Scout,’ said Atticus, ‘nigger-lover is just one of those terms that don’t mean anything — like snot-nose. It’s hard to explain — ignorant, trashy people use it when they think somebody’s favoring Negroes over and above themselves. It’s slipped into usage with some people like ourselves, when they want a common, ugly term to label somebody.’ ”

(…love that Atticus Finch…)

Or at the onset of chapter 1, from “The Kite Runner,” by Khaled Hosseini: “That was a long time ago, but it’s wrong what they say about the past, I’ve learned, about how you can bury it. Because the past claws its way out. Looking back now, I realize I have been peeking into that deserted alley for the last twenty-six years.”

As we watch events unfold all around us — from the people that seem to dominate the news flow — from retiring athletes to politicians that probably should be retiring — I’m reminded of a chapter perhaps all of us should read, regardless of faith, regardless of where on life’s journey we may be. From intellectual giant and legendary author, C.S. Lewis, an excerpt from chapter 8 of his third section in “Mere Christianity”…

“Today I come to that part of Christian morals where they differ most sharply from all other morals. There is one vice of which no man in the world is free; which everyone loathes when he sees it in someone else…

There is no fault that makes a man more unpopular, and no fault which we are more unconscious of in ourselves. And the more we have it ourselves, the more we dislike it in others.
The vice I am talking of is Pride or Self-Conceit…

According to Christian teachers, the essential vice, the utmost evil, is Pride. Unchastity, anger, greed, drunkenness, and all that, are mere fleabites in comparison: it was through Pride that the devil became the devil: Pride leads to every other vice: it is the complete anti-God state of mind.
Does this seem to you exaggerated? If so, think it over. I pointed out a moment ago that the more pride one had, the more one disliked pride in others. In fact, if you want to find out how proud you are the easiest way is to ask yourself, ‘How much do I dislike it when other people snub me, or refuse to take any notice of me, or shove their oar in, or patronise me, or show off?’ The point is that each person’s pride is in competition with everyone else’s pride…

It is Pride which has been the chief cause of misery in every nation and every family since the world began. Other vices may sometimes bring people together: you may find good fellowship and jokes and friendliness among drunken people or unchaste people. But Pride always means enmity – it is enmity. And not only enmity between man and man, but enmity to God.
In God you come up against something that is in every respect immeasurably superior to yourself. Unless you know God as that – and, therefore, know your-self as nothing in comparison – you do not know God at all. As long as you are proud you cannot know God. A proud man is always looking down on things and people: and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you…”

Lewis is speaking not of the pleasure in being praised, affirmation, or admiration; it is a beautiful thing to admire another, to be “so proud of your son,” so-to-speak. Lewis instead is identifying the definition of pride synonymous with “arrogance,” “self-importance,” hubris,” or informally, “big-headedness.”

That’s what’s so unattractive about so many who dominate the news flow; it’s also unattractive in us.

The opposite of pride?

Humility… which is always more attractive.

Respectfully…
AR

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seinfeld, god & stephen curry

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One of the things that continually astounds me is how so many things seem to fit together — how we can find great learning in one area that seems totally unrelated to another, and yet, the lesson totally applies on a broader scale. I think of it first like an ongoing “Seinfeld” episode, a scenario in which all things will eventually relate, whether it be mind-blowingly good soup or Kramer losing Elaine’s armoire or Jerry’s girlfriend’s infuriating “schmoopie” routine; it all fits. On another hand, I think of it more deeply as the creative, powerful, amazing hand of God — setting the world up, giving us multiple ways in which to learn, grow, and wise up a little. Both God and Seinfeld make this semi-humble blogger smile.

One of those areas, no less, in which I often see broader lessons unfolding is via athletics — which is why I often preface posts laced with sport references as “not a sports post”; in other words, a deeper, greater learning exists. I see this now on the professional hardwood…

In the port city of Oakland, California, there is one team that stands out — not only in the state’s eighth largest city — but across the country and in the NBA. Here is the home for the Golden State Warriors… a team that originated 70 seasons ago in Philadelphia… a team that has a career winning percentage of just over 47%.

Last year the Warriors won the NBA championship. They accomplished such with many talented players on their young roster — including Draymond Green, Klay Thompson, and Andre Iguodala — but they are clearly led by the almost high-school-looking Stephen Curry, a humble, wholesome, joy-filled, scrawny star who has an uncanny ability to seemingly make three-pointers from anywhere on the court. He has been so successful that even though he doesn’t have the stereotypical physical stature of other stars, Curry won last year’s NBA MVP and the ESPYs Best Male Athlete award.

Curry’s success has led directly to the team’s success. After last season’s championship, the Warriors began this year’s 82 game season by winning an unprecedented 23 games. As of this posting — having played 60 games already — they have only lost 5 games. If they continue this pace, they will have the best record in NBA history.

Hence, to the broader lesson…

Every NBA team has an annual salary cap. The primary distribution of the Golden State Warriors is as follows:

(1) Klay Thompson — $15.5 million
(2) Draymond Green — $14.3 million
(3) Andrew Bogut — $12.0 million
(4) Andre Iguodala — $11.7 million

And…
(5) Stephen Curry — $11.3 million

Note that Curry currently makes the fifth most amount of money on his team — even though he is clearly the team’s best player… fifth most.

Consistent with that humble and wholesome character — which is affirmed by those who know him best — Curry doesn’t complain. In fact, it’s quite possible that it doesn’t bother him. He agreed to a wage; he knows he’s been blessed; that’s enough for him. As teammate Shaun Livingston said, “His [Curry’s] faith, his beliefs and his value system [are] unprecedented.”

One of the reasons teams, relationships, etc. don’t stay together is because individuals often believe they are entitled to something more… “I deserve better… I deserve more… I have a right to it.” An individual demandingness and entitlement arises that can be so paralyzing and unhealthy. That often leads to a team or relationship’s downfall… although not so fast for the Golden State Warriors.

Stephen Curry, by all accounts, at least compared to his peers, deserves more money. But to Curry, that is not a priority. How then can teammates make it a priority? How do they justify any attitude of entitlement when the one who most clearly could demand more, is humble enough to choose not to?

Humility, my friends, is always attractive. It, too, always makes us smile.

Respectfully…
AR

Posted on

singing

photo-1428829969150-e014ae1b7daaWhen contemplating today’s post, I knew it would be challenging for me to write. It was a year ago yesterday my 34 year old sister lost her courageous battle with cancer. FYI: I don’t like the word “lost” in that sentence. Nicole has always been beautiful and brave. Now, though, I fully trust that she has a far better eternal perspective than any of us here. That doesn’t equate to “losing” to me.

That said, knowing the emotional hurdle necessary to pen any post about anything lesser (which includes all that small stuff we still seem to sweat), I pulled out last year’s post, entitled “That’s My Sister” — a heartfelt tribute to Nicole in how she sharpened me and many… encouraging us to focus on what’s most important… on powerfully showing by example how deeply our faith matters… and on how we can hold onto hope regardless of circumstance.

I get that such is easier said than done. It also would have been easier for me to run with the previously penned post.

Yesterday morning, however, I noticed something. Alone in my quietness — wrestling with the weight and awareness accompanying this sobering anniversary — I heard a single sound…

I heard a bird outside, singing.

Then it donned on me… I know it takes time to grieve — lots of time. And I’m not certain my heart will ever fully be the same. But I never want the pain on this planet to keep me from hearing the bird outside, singing.

I believe that those who’ve faithfully gone before us — those who now have that unprecedented, amazing, unparalleled, eternal perspective — would encourage us to quit sweating the small stuff… to quit getting bogged down in the daily crud of life that causes us to be so demanding and self-focused. I believe they would encourage us to…

Keep the focus on what’s most important…
Grapple with your faith…
Come near to God…
Hold onto hope…
And never be so bogged down with the messiness of life that we miss the bird outside, singing.

Nicole, too, had a blog in which she sometimes chronicled her experience. In one of her final posts, she shared the following:

“As this journey may be tough for me, I know that many others are struggling with something in their life and I just ask that you take a moment and say a prayer for them. This weighs heavy on my heart, feeling like I have it pretty easy compared to so many others out there.

That being said, I would like to share the lyrics to a song by Steven Curtis Chapman that has hit me the past couple of weeks…

‘… I know this is not
Anything like you thought
The story of your life was gonna be
And it feels like the end has started closing in on you
But it’s just not true
There’s so much of the story that’s still yet to unfold
 
And this is going to be a glorious unfolding
Just you wait and see and you will be amazed
You’ve just got to believe the story is so far from over
So hold on to every promise God has made to us
And watch this glorious unfolding
 
God’s plan from the start
For this world and your heart
Has been to show His glory and His grace
Forever revealing the depth and the beauty of
His unfailing Love
And the story has only begun…’ ”

I hear her voice. I hear her hope. I also believe with all the wisdom Nicole has now she would encourage us to not get lost in the current events, emotions, and circumstances that threaten to pierce our peace; she would encourage us to trust God… and to always hear those birds…

…outside, singing.

With truth in my tears…

AR

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election update

photo-1453282716202-de94e528067cLet’s be honest: it’s hard to talk about the 2016 election process.

Wait. I take that back.

It’s actually not hard to talk about it; there are many who are talking. They just aren’t all talking very respectfully.

The reality is that we don’t always talk respectfully either.

My sense is each of us is prone to falling prey to engaging in the ignorance or disrespect, trumping (tee, hee) one aspect over another… ignoring some of the realities of this race, due to preconceived ideas or desired results…

For example — and please don’t get mad — my desire here is to wrestle honestly and respectfully with the truth…  each of these statements is — [sigh] — true…

… one party frontrunner has been regularly offensive to multiple people groups… another party frontrunner is under investigation by the FBI… multiple contending candidates have been caught in lies or mistruths… one candidate is touting socialism as a healthy form of economics… another candidate has articulated seemingly zero willingness to compromise… some have very little knowledge of foreign policy… and…

… I think arguably all candidates have forgotten that whoever is elected will represent all of us — not just a few, loyal, select some.

Part of the challenge is that we compare and contrast — suggesting that one person’s lack of integrity in one area — be it personal or intellectual — is not as bad as someone else’s. The challenge is that as soon as we make that conclusion, we often justify ignoring our preferred candidate’s obvious (to everyone else) flaws, and sometimes, often perhaps, then also justify in joining in the chorus of disrespect.

Let it be said that there is nothing wrong with healthy, constructive criticism. But from my limited vantage point, there is nothing healthy about any adult calling another a “lightweight,” “dope,” or “enemy” or referring to the size of another candidate’s ears. That, my friends, is not constructive criticism. Dare I suggest it’s not intelligent either.

And so this day I come with two questions:

First, what am I overlooking in my preferred candidate that’s significant?

And second, what have I ignored in my preferred candidate because the flaws of another make my candidate seem so smart, wholesome, and good?

As I wrestle with those questions, my primary concerns in this election currently are as follows:

(1) That we are overlooking what may be significant.
(2) That we are focusing too much on too few.
(3) That we don’t have the best candidates in the race. (… Joe, Condoleezza… where are you?)
(4) That we are not utilizing our critical thinking skills. And…
(5) That we are justifying disrespect.

As said, it’s hard to talk about the 2016 election process.

Change that: it’s hard to talk about it thoroughly, wisely, and respectfully.

Respectfully… yes…
AR

Posted on

childlike

12778948_10208934701866461_7769941163178618889_oAll week I’ve been wrestling with the encouragement to become like a child… to think like a child… that there’s something about being childlike that’s actually good!

I struggle with that sometimes… holding on too tightly, perhaps, to all the knowledge and experience — like it or not — that accompanies us into adulthood… believing that’s all so beneficial and so much more vital than being a kid. And then a tiny moment reminds me that adulthood often serves as more of a distraction than any perch of wisdom…

Last weekend I had opportunity to get away for the weekend for some fun and reflection. While away, my spouse took two of my sons bowling. While bowling is not a frequent activity for our household, when it occurs, it is typically met with ample enthusiasm. It also can become quite competitive, as we tend to enjoy the competitive process (insert subtle “tee hee” here).

My hub was pleased; he still has it after all these years. My seventeen year old was also pleased; he enjoys his share of athletic success. And then there was my son, Josh.

As has been referenced here on multiple occasions, Josh is a thriving, articulate teenage boy. He does all those things fourteen year olds typically tend to do… talk, text, try to sneak a few things by the ‘rents, if you know what I mean. Josh also has Down syndrome.

One of the beautiful things about Josh’s so-called “special need” is that it seems to maintain that childhood status to some degree… acting like a child… thinking like a child. But it’s made me ask, “What does ‘childlike’ mean?”

I wish I had an easy answer. For a while, I camped on the concept of equating being like a child to something simpler — simpler thinking, something not as complex as us ever-knowledgeable and experienced adults. But that doesn’t totally make sense to me.

Then I wrestled with the idea of a “childlike faith” and all the accompanying misapplications… maybe not needing all the things we seemingly intelligent adults need to prove that we’re right… “No, we won’t believe… we won’t believe in something until they can prove it to us! We will not be fooled! Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, well…” Something about that doesn’t seem quite right either.

A wise friend then summed it up for me in eight words… eight words. To become like a child means to ask oneself: “what if I could lay aside my fear?”

… my fear of being wrong… my fear of not being perfect… my fear of failure… my fear of not looking good… my fear of needing someone or something more… my fear…

What if I could lay aside my fear?

What would I do? What would I think? How would I change? How would I grow? How would I relate to other people? How would I articulate opinion? Again, yes… how would I grow?

When I returned home for the weekend, Josh was sitting on the outside porch, eagerly awaiting my return. (Let me offer a quick, brief tangent: there’s something beautifully special about having your own enthusiastic welcoming committee each time you return home.)

But after a few, semi-subtle bear hugs and joyful jumps of unparalleled glee, Josh said, “Mom, Mom, guess what? Guess what?! You’re never going to believe this!!”

Note that my spouse had warned me that Josh might be a little discouraged after the bowling outing. They bowled two games without the bumpers. Josh scored a 40 and a 22. That’s averaging a mere four and a little more than two pins per frame. Hence, by all intellectual accounts, Josh bowled pretty poorly.

But Josh says, “I did it, Mom! I did it! I got my first strike without the bumpers!!”

The kid was overjoyed. Embedded in his ten-frame score of 22, there was a single strike — a strike both preceded and succeeded by gutter after gutter ball. Instead of being emotionally pierced by any ball in the gutter, Josh only saw what was best. He was not deterred nor distracted by any knowledge or experience…

“I got my first strike!”

May we aim for that childlike faith… may we never miss the beauty of the barren strike. May we know that it is good.

Respectfully…
AR

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forget you (ooh, ooh, ooh)

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As our ongoing dialogue continues, I remain fascinated by the diversity of our audience — by the many of you hailing from varied walks of life and who thoughtfully, consistently chime in with me, either publicly or privately. I deeply value your opinion and the ensuing, mutual sharpening. I have much to learn.

While there exist differences in the degree to which we individually sense challenges across the globe, one of the areas in which I see significant commonality among the diverse is the recognition of a seemingly ceaseless, moral digression in society.

One of the areas, however, in which I see significant uncertainty among the diverse is the reason for such perceived, moral digression.

Each May, in fact, beginning in 2002, Gallup polls Americans on their outlook on the state of values in the United States; it’s termed their “Values and Beliefs” poll. When asked last year whether the “state of moral values in the country as a whole is getting better or worse,” 72% said that they believe that the paradigm is worsening; in contrast, just 22% said that it is improving.

Consistent with the identified diversity of the Intramuralist’s audience, clear majorities of conservatives, social moderates and liberals agree that America’s moral standing is on the decline. Again according to Gallup’s results: 81% of conservatives say that moral values are worsening; 76% of social moderates concur, as do 58% of self-identified liberals.

Let me ensure I am totally transparent: I cannot offer the exact right answer as to why such a perceived decline exists. I don’t know. I doubt any could concisely identify the exact right reason (even if they rhetorically attempt to attach a political promise to such a perception). But as all good bloggers bravely do at times, I’m willing to take a semi-humble stab… as every now and then in my regular research and reading, a potential answer appears that hits me over the head — about as subtly as a divine two by four.

In the ancient scriptures, written thousands of years ago, I stumbled upon the following, profound question this week:

“What other great nation has a god so near to them like the Lord our God whenever we call on him?”

What a cool concept to think of a higher power being known so intimately and being so in tune to the needs of the people and what’s happening on the planet… One so known by the people that he is recognized to be there whatever the circumstance… one fully engaged… fully aware… omniscient and omnipotent… and… available… “whenever we call on him.”

The question, no less, is followed by:

“Again, however, pay very careful attention, lest you forget the things you have seen and disregard them for the rest of your life.”

Pay careful attention.

The above thus begs the question: is there a relationship between the current moral digression and not paying careful enough attention to what may be good, right, and true?

Have we forgotten something?

Do we teach what we’ve learned?

Is there truth we have callously disregarded?

Just asking questions, friends… wrestling with none other than those divine two by fours…

Respectfully…
AR

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best recent stories

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With the plethora of polarizing stories in Washington these days (and with the Intramuralist taking a few extra days to invest in intentional respite), I found the following to be the more encouraging reports of the week. While aspects of each sometimes serve cause for annoyance for some — missing the bigger picture, I believe — the reality is that the bottom line of each brief story has something to do with great joy, empathy, and hope.

From NBC News this weekend…

“This 106-year-old admitted she never thought she’d live to visit the White House — and then gave the president and first lady a surprise of their own.
Virginia McLaurin danced her way across the room as she met Barack and Michelle Obama as part of Black History Month.
‘Slow down now, don’t go too quick!’ joked the president, clearly taken aback at the diminutive centenarian’s energy. The first lady told her: ‘I want to be like you when I grow up.’
McLaurin was born in 1909 in South Carolina and moved to Washington, D.C., in 1941, according to a community Facebook page set up for her. She told the Obamas: ‘I thought I would never live to get in the White House… I am so happy — a black president.’
The video of the meeting received almost 11 million views on the White House’s Facebook page in the first six hours after it was uploaded late Sunday.”

From ABC News…

“John Kasich ended his town hall at Clemson University in South Carolina this afternoon with a hug from a young man who told the Republican presidential candidate he gave him hope amid his personal despair.
During a question-and-answer session, 21-year-old Brett Smith told the Ohio governor he had driven up from Georgia to see him. A man close to him had recently killed himself, his parents had divorced and his father had lost his job, Smith said.
Amid a dark time in his life, Smith said, Kasich gave him hope.
‘I found hope,’ he said, standing before around 200 attendees. ‘I found it in the Lord and in my friends, and now I found it in my presidential candidate that I support, and I’d really appreciate one of those hugs you’ve been talking about.’
Kasich obliged, coming down from the stage and embracing the young man, a senior at the University of Georgia, as he choked up and blinked away tears.
‘The Lord will give you strength, I promise you, if you ask him,’ Kasich said in Smith’s ear.”

And finally, from the homily delivered by Rev. Paul Scalia, the son of Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, at the funeral Mass for his father on Saturday…

“…In the past week, many have recounted what Dad did for them. But here today, we recount what God did for Dad, how he blessed him…
God blessed Dad, as is well known, with a love for his country. He knew well what a close-run thing the founding of our nation was. And he saw in that founding, as did the founders themselves, a blessing, a blessing quickly lost when faith is banned form the public square, or when we refuse to bring it there. So he understood that there is no conflict between loving God and loving one’s country, between one’s faith and one’s public service. Dad understood that the deeper he went in his Catholic faith, the better a citizen and public servant he became. God blessed him with the desire to be the country’s good servant because he was God’s first…”

Here’s to great joy, empathy, and hope. May those aspects never annoy us. May we never miss the bigger picture.

Respectfully…
AR

Posted on

the only angle?

1JyANL0DTguQcnvDRTg1_DSC_1962Sixteen years ago, many of us were rocked by a shocking incident. The innocent lives of twelve teens and one teacher were claimed instantaneously. Awful. Twenty-four additional others were injured in the attack. The two responsible then committed suicide.

Two teen boys… killed themselves.

At first, there was shock. Then there was outrage.

On April 20, 1999, senior students Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold committed the sadly infamous, Columbine High School massacre. Last week, for the first time — yes, sixteen years later — Sue Klebold spoke out.

Sue is the mother of Dylan. She spoke with ABC’s Diane Sawyer…

Like many parents, Sue Klebold was certain she would have known if something were wrong with her son. Allow me to say that again: she was certain that she would know.

But she did not.

“Before Columbine happened, I would have been one of those parents. I think we like to believe that our love and our understanding is protective, and that ‘if anything were wrong with my kids, I would know,’ but I didn’t know, and I wasn’t able to stop him from hurting other people. I wasn’t able to stop his hurting himself and it’s very hard to live with that.”

Isn’t that the reality?

We think we know when something’s wrong and when it isn’t.

But we don’t.

Said Klebold…

“I want people to be aware that things can seem awfully right when things are terribly, terribly wrong.”

What she wants to say to Columbine survivors and victims’ families…

“The one thing, of course, that I want to say is I am so sorry for what my son did, yet I know that just saying ‘I’m sorry’ is such an inadequate response to all this suffering. There is never a day that goes by where I don’t think of the people that Dylan harmed.”

Diane Sawyer emphasized, “You use the word ‘harmed.’ “

To which Klebold continued, “I think it’s easier for me to say harmed than killed. And it’s still hard for me after all this time… it is very hard to live with the fact that someone you loved and raised has brutally killed people in such a horrific way.”

Truth told, I’m not sure what the bottom line message is here today. I think the point is that it’s easier for us to cast fingers and stones when someone does us wrong. Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris did us obvious, awful, heinous wrong.

But is that the only angle there is, to process what happened sixteen years ago? Is that the only perspective?

What helps us work it through even now?

What empathy is necessary for others involved? Is any empathy appropriate? Is it inappropriate?

Great questions. Wish I knew all the answers.

Just thankful we’re humble enough to ask and attempt to answer the questions.

Respectfully…
AR