the lost practice of submission

tlC8KhNJR0CA2xdomLfx_DSC_0358-2I’ll be honest: sometimes I stink at submission.

(I’d like to write that I think sometimes we all stink at submission, but I’ll hold off on that comment for now…)

Submission means to willingly yield to the authority or judgment of another person. Perhaps part of the reason we — I mean “I” — sometimes stink at submission is because through various stages of life, I have misunderstood the concept.

I’ve gone through stages where I’ve equated submission with weakness… with something lesser… something oppressive… something bad or beaten down. Who among us wishes to actually embrace something bad or beaten down?

I’ve also seen persons who have misused their authority or judgment… like in The Bride, an adaptation of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, when Baron Charles Frankenstein, commands his mate, “You must trust me, and you must obey me!” — and follows order number one with the added imperative not to provoke him either.

It is also true that too many have abused their authority or judgment… like an abusive husband or an oppressive slave master… like an elect who leads most by executive order.

We — I mean “I” — don’t always agree with the judgment of another. And instead of recognizing that submission has value — as we are sharpened by the insight and consideration of a worthy, experienced other — I allow my opinion and desire to trump all others.

Submission makes us listen. Submission keeps us humble. Submission holds us accountable. Submission reminds us that no, we don’t have life all figured out. My sense is that all people should be in some submission to at least someone else — most likely far more than one.

I speak not of blindly following the foolish, friends. I am more encouraging the give-and-take, healthy practice of asking another what they think… inviting their wisdom… welcoming their judgment… learning how to both follow and lead. The act of submission is the acknowledgement that none of us are the wisest persons we know.

And yet, we witness a society where we continually justify why not to submit; we constantly find a reason or flaw that keeps us from welcoming the authority found in…

… a teacher… coach… ump… referee… or the elderly…

… a principal… parent… policeman… priest… or president…

… or perhaps… we find a flaw in the God of the universe, who I have zero doubt is far holier than you or I will ever be.

Friends, I am concerned that in our efforts to not fall prey to those who have abused their authority and judgment, we have either consciously or subconsciously declared that we will no longer submit to a divine way of order. It’s as if our thinking is now greater than God’s thinking… our desires are more important than any desires he may have for us… our determination of what’s good and true and right is what’s right… and we declare our wants and wishes to be wisest and best because we are unwilling to submit to anyone other than self.

There. I said it… “we.”

Sometimes we stink at submission. We’re not always aware of the value the lost practice actually holds.

Respectfully…

AR

choosing a side

IMG_4529Why do we have to choose? What is it about society that pushes us to choose a single side? … as if all conflict is so black and white, that we feel so enamored and capable of assessing the complete, altruistic values of one side — and the evil endeavors of the other?

The push comes early in life — and — in seemingly, every arena. For example…

In sports, even though it’s supposedly “only a game,” it seems as if there is a push to identify one team as morally superior and simultaneously demonize the other. It’s as if in our preference for one, we have to find something that’s inherently wrong with the other. In our fandom, we get forced to choose a side — deeming one to be all good and the other all bad… whether that be in the NBA finals, NHL finals, or even on a summer, Little League field.

Sometimes, too, I see this so-called “side choosing” in friendship, relationship, marriage, etc. When a relationship ends, many of us near to the situation feel as if we must choose a side to remain friends with. Granted, there are times when one person intentionally, deeply harms another and is wholly responsible for the broken relationship; that’s different. But I will say that there have been times over the course of my life where I’ve felt it wise to equally honor, love, and befriend both involved in the broken relationship. It’s not always a sided issue.

Perhaps the current push to choose a single side is most prominent in the political arena. As one party seeks to gain an advantage over the other, they encourage us choose only them — and they want us to demonize the different.

It was just this past week that candidate Hillary Clinton said, “Today Republicans are systematically and deliberately trying to stop millions of American citizens from voting.” And it was only two weeks ago when conservative commentator Rush Limbaugh said, “They misstated facts… They did that to get more guilt money to launder for their political party… that’s the MO of the Democrat Party. This is how Democrats work.”

Notice what they’re both doing? They are both attempting to build themselves up by tearing another down. They are both attempting to get us to deem one side as ultra altruistic — and concurrently, the other side as utterly evil. While undoubtedly we can believe certain policies adopted by one party to be wiser than another’s, to demonize an entire party and prompt us to choose a single side is a disingenuous technique with other motives in mind.

It reminds me of Rob Reiner’s 1995 “The American President” movie, when Pres. Andrew Sherman (played by Michael Douglas) faced nagging conflict from an opposing candidate. Sherman said his opponent isn’t interested in solution. Instead, “He is interested in two things, and two things only — making you afraid of it, and telling you who’s to blame for it. That, ladies and gentlemen, is how you win elections.”

I feel as if time and time again, persons attempt to lure us into believing all things are a sided issue… like it’s black and white and we should be picking a unilateral, single side.

This concept has now moved into the social arena. Notice how currently, we are seemingly being pushed to choose a side regarding Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner and the Duggar family. Bruce has gone through transgender transition to become Caitlyn in a way that has invited and attracted ample publicity. The Duggars are a conservative, reality TV family, whose son, Josh, recently acknowledged fondling four sisters and a babysitter twelve years ago.

Friends, it is totally ok to have an opinion on each of these issues. It is totally ok to believe that a behavior or mindset is good/bad, pure/impure, or healthy/unhealthy and to respectfully speak out on these issues.

What I do not believe is necessary is to choose a side. There is no “side” to Jenner’s gender, and there is no “side” to Josh Duggar’s former fondling. My sense is that if we wish to continue with solution-oriented dialogue — if we want to wrestle with what’s good and true and right and what’s not — then one of our first (and wisest) steps would be to quit being lured into choosing a nonexistent, so-called side.

Respectfully…

AR

jenner

a699942aBefore we attempt to tackle the topic the country’s been seemingly most talking about, let me repeat five recent, Intramuralist observations and encouragements:

  1. Love deeply. Offer grace generously.
  2. Show respect — in what you say and how you think.
  3. We are selective in whom we offer mercy and grace.
  4. Some people are harming all of society by silencing important debates, denying people the right to draw their own conclusions.
  5. If you attack the messenger instead of wrestle with the message, you will change no one’s mind.

I remember being a little kid years ago watching perhaps the first Olympics I’d ever really remember. It helped me place Canada correctly on my mental map, and it made Nadia Comăneci and Sugar Ray Leonard household names. 

It was also the first time I had a grasp of the decathlon. I learned the iconic names of Jim Thorpe and Rafer Johnson. And I cheered on Bruce Jenner as he scored a record total number of points and was crowned the “World’s Greatest Athlete.” If he ran again today, I would still cheer Jenner on.

Not that I need to update anyone’s status, but this week “Vanity Fair” released their cover story of the man previously known as “Bruce.” As the magazine implores, now “call me Caitlyn.”

Friends, hear my heart… While the Intramuralist shies from no subject, I was less than certain if I wanted to address this issue. I’m not sure we can handle it well. It’s not that I wish to avoid it, but I’m not certain we’re committed to talking about sexual orientation respectfully.

Too many are unwilling to entertain any kind of disagreement. Too many believe that if a person feels differently than they do, the other person is ignorant, stupid, or judgmental. I think too many people on all supposed sides of these issues handle themselves poorly. Sorry. I’m not attempting to be harsh here; I’m attempting to wrestle honestly with the issue.

I’m uncomfortable seeing people lambaste Jenner. I’m uncomfortable seeing people lambaste those who lambaste Jenner. I’m uncomfortable with all who immediately look down on others because of opposing opinion. Such puffs each of us up too much.

I’m uncomfortable with the reported amount of self-harm activity or suicides of transgender youth. I’m uncomfortable with the reported number of persons who still struggle after transgender transition.

I’m uncomfortable when we say we are tolerant of all things, but then we won’t tolerate the person who disagrees with us; we then contradict ourselves.

I’m uncomfortable with the selective promotion of only one kind of life that matters. I’m uncomfortable with those who feel they have to play the convictor of truth in another person’s life. I’m uncomfortable with each of us creating our own truth. I’m uncomfortable with being dismissive of the concept that God created us male and female. I’m uncomfortable with being insensitive that many struggle with sexuality. I’m uncomfortable that we each struggle with different things, and yet time and time again, we are pretty terrible at dealing with another person’s struggle.

A few more…

I’m uncomfortable with the idea that Jenner’s a hero — save that for the one who lays down his life for another. I’m uncomfortable with dismissing Jenner as being mentally ill. I’m uncomfortable with the massive publicity the Kardashians etal. have long solicited and craved. I’m uncomfortable with Jenner being considered a beacon of morality after “keeping up with the Kardashians” for that long. I’m uncomfortable with the fleeting desire of finding worth in eternal youth or external beauty. I often wonder where our focus is…

Most of all, I suppose, I’m uncomfortable with the fact that too many of these conversations seem too hard to have… because we forget the five observations and encouragements listed above.

Respectfully…

AR

messenger vs. message

iqlYdAAYQiaOCoKnT6jE_kabiaOver the weekend my son and I had a rather significant, extended disagreement. Before sharing some of the details, allow me first to fill you in on my ever growing, budding in wisdom, 16 year old…

JT is funny and witty and studious and smart. He is athletic and thoughtful and strategic and sharp. He is also still 16.

Being 16 (shhhh… don’t tell them this yet…) means there is much to learn. Finally possessing a driver’s license although believing for years that they already know how to drive, 16 year olds are on that brink of maturity — growing by leaps and bounds while straddling the spheres between teendom and adulthood. They don’t know as much as they think they do, but they know exponentially more than they used to. In a few short years, independence will come calling in the form of college or career.

One of the things I’ve always admired about JT, no less, is his keen sense of perception. He is able to interact with others, dialogue, and then quickly make some very insightful observations. He seems to always be soaking so much in.

On Sunday he wanted permission to go elsewhere. With school still in session and “finals eve” nearly upon us, I appreciated his request but respectfully denied permission. Granted, in between the teen/adult spheres is a lesson for parents, too, as we must learn how to both loosen and tighten the reins, depending on the scenario at hand. Sometimes permission needs to be requested — sometimes not; sometimes it’s totally up to the teen. Parents have to learn how to put increasingly more of the decision-making responsibility into the hands of our soon to be adult children.

So when the request was made, I was not harsh nor curt nor any other knowingly negative adjective. I simply logically laid out the reason why I didn’t believe his request was a good idea.

Almost immediately, JT reacted strongly. But instead of dealing with the actual decision, JT’s sharp, verbal appeal was all focused upon the decision maker… yes, me.

Instead of weighing the merits of my decision, he focused on what must be wrong with me in order to deny permission. “Something must be wrong… you’re never this stern… your logic doesn’t make sense… what’s wrong with you today?” In other words, as our conversation ensued, JT spent his energy focused on the messenger and not the message. The conversation continued for another 20 minutes; it was 20 minutes focused on what was wrong with the messenger.

Hence, the decision stood. I would not change my mind.

After a chance to sleep on it (and also, to put heightened emotion to rest), JT and I spoke again of the conflict at the breakfast table yesterday morning. I told him that I appreciated his request, but I was not attempting to be stern; I simply felt with only a handful of school days left, he needed to solely focus on academics. I also shared how I’m often willing to reconsider my decision — and perhaps I might have the day before; however, when he shifted his focus from the message to me, I was less willing to alter any opinion.

He and I then spoke of how this happens in society. Adults, too — even the seemingly most intelligent among us — when they don’t receive the answer they want, begin to attack the messenger as opposed to the message. They work to tear down the other person as opposed to wrestle with the other person’s dissent. In turn, the other person becomes more firmly entrenched — with an even lesser desire to listen, consider, or change their opinion.

JT waited a bit and then asked if he could apologize. “I’m sorry for attacking you and no longer considering what you said. People sadly do that all the time.”

Did I mention he was a 16 year old kid, budding in wisdom, growing by leaps and bounds?

Respectfully…

AR

note to the graduate: part II

IMG_4407For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. 

A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest.

A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up.

A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance.

A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace and a time to turn away.

A time to search and a time to quit searching. A time to keep and a time to throw away.

A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak.

A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace.

As we pen a final post to those now formally entering adulthood, allow us to address a few more brief truths as you take these next few, albeit humongous steps…

First, there is a time for everything — every activity under heaven, every season under the sun. Hear me now: you will not enjoy nor desire each of these times. Every activity will not be wonderful nor every season incredibly joyous and fun. Don’t let me discourage you; that’s not my intent. My intent is to wrestle with reality.

Remember that enjoying and embracing are not the same thing. As you face life’s next chapters, the truth is that there will be seasons and chapters that stretch you beyond your wildest imagination — beyond where you ever thought you’d go or perhaps ever wanted. You have a choice in how to react. When the time comes to tear down or turn away, embrace the time; when the time comes to speak, speak — or be quiet, be quiet. Enjoying the season is less important than learning from the experience. The wise man learns and grows from the seasons that are hard.

Second — and don’t let me shock you — but contrary to perhaps your long-held belief (or some printed fictional, parenting mantra) — you cannot be whatever you want to be. I’m sorry; remember… we are wrestling with reality. Similar to the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, and that jolly old St. Nicholas, there are a few things we’ve told you that actually aren’t true.

It is true that you cannot be whatever or whoever you want to be (… just ask all those who keep running for President). You can, however, be all that God created you to be. Embrace your gifts. Utilize the unique wiring within you — the wiring that makes you distinctly and beautifully, uniquely you! Don’t compare yourself to another, falling prey to society’s hollow teaching that another person’s wiring or set up is somehow better or worse than yours. Simply embrace your own strengths and grow from your own weaknesses. Seek God first; seek his intention for your life. Then be who he created you to be, and do what he created you to do. Don’t compare your calling to any other.

And third (because this proud, reflective parent still has seemingly far too much to say), let me offer a rapid fire of final encouragement…

Love deeply. Offer grace generously. Never view grace and truth as opposites, as each can be applied in full measure. Wash your sheets. Don’t be selfish. Resist being quick to anger. Be fast to forgive. Be humble. Forgive again. And again. Pursue wisdom. Consider coffee. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. Separate the reds from the whites. Be charitable. Save some; spend some; and give some away. Don’t be afraid of sorrow. Turn off the XBOX. Chew with your mouth closed. Don’t think of equality with God as something to be grasped. Listen to the elderly; invest in the young. Bow and curtsy when appropriate. Show respect — in what you say and how you think. Remember that respect does not mean accepting as equally good and true. Remember that all things are not equally good and true. Know when to say that; know when to not. Open doors for other people. Look another in the eye. Use your napkin. Be discerning. Be aware that just because something feels good, it might not be wise. Be prayerful. Figure the faith thing out. And embrace each and every season shared above… embracing the time to laugh… the time to cry… the time to grieve… and yes, the time to dance.

There is a time for everything. God has made everything beautiful for its own time. Graduates, without a doubt, now is your time to dance.

With an extra tear in my eye and one more salute to those grads…

AR

forks, sharks & bridges

QTrNn7DETWGsjyS5L2n5__MG_8345As we move closer to the more formal pomp and circumstance coming this weekend — and prior to posting our second “Note to the Graduate” — I thought it may be interesting to observe the encouragement others have offered this special time of year. What words do people say to the young men and women now entering adulthood?

I laughed when SNL’s Maya Rudolph encouraged Tulane grads to “take as many bikini photos as you can now” because, well, the body changes. I smiled, as well, at the wisdom Jon Bon Jovi continues to exude, evident in his address at Rutgers University, where he sang, “This isn’t how the story ends, my friends; it’s just a fork along the road.”

I was equally intrigued by the words Meredith Viera shared at Boston University: “Be the left shark. Remember last Super Bowl, when the Patriots won? You may be thinking of Tom Brady’s deflated balls right now, but I’m thinking of Katy Perry’s halftime performance. She was on stage dancing with two sharks. The shark on the right knew every dance move and performed perfectly. But it was the left shark, the one who went rogue and danced to his own crazy beat, who stole the show. So don’t ever be a conformist for convenience’s sake. Be the left shark.”

…the left shark…

I remember Wellesley High School English teacher David McCullough, Jr. who caused a bit of a social media ruckus last year when he encouraged students to not think of themselves more highly than they ought. He added: “If you’ve learned anything in your years here I hope it’s that education should be for, rather than material advantage, the exhilaration of learning.  You’ve learned, too, I hope, as Sophocles assured us, that wisdom is the chief element of happiness.  (Second is ice cream…  just an fyi)  I also hope you’ve learned enough to recognize how little you know… how little you know now… at the moment… for today is just the beginning.  It’s where you go from here that matters.”

(Yes, where they go from here matters…)

I must say, I’m not as keen on candidates or in-office politicians making commencement speeches. There’s too much political posturing and underlying motives that seem less than transparently stated. Something about an Ellen DeGeneres just feels a little more refreshing.

Perhaps my favorite borrowed words, though, come not from the well-deserving, revered lists — lists that always include the speeches of Winston Churchill, John F. Kennedy, and Steve Jobs. I’m instead drawn to the words of a cartoonist, poet, and children’s author — words most likely never penned with graduation in mind. I love the words of Shel Silverstein…

I think of Silverstein’s words as my son’s ceremony nears. I think of them as I reflect upon the past 18 years… where my son has succeeded… where he’s seemingly failed… where he’s learned and grown and picked himself right back up again. I think about my role as a parent… where I’ve succeeded… where I’ve seemingly failed… and where I have learned and grown and picked myself up again. I think about the humbling, awesome responsibility of parenting — and of any who consistently invests in the younger generation.

One aspect which has been clear since birth is that the day would come when these grads would embrace their independence, leave our homes, and become adults. We’ve had the privilege of sharing in their journey — albeit sometimes, no doubt, even getting in the way. We have been their bridge from birth ‘til now. Hence, the words of Silverstein…

“The bridge will only take you halfway there, to those mysterious lands you long to see. Through gypsy camps and swirling Arab fair, and moonlit woods where unicorns run free. So come and walk awhile with me and share the twisting trails and wondrous worlds I’ve known. But this bridge will only take you halfway there. The last few steps you have to take alone.”

The twisting trails together have been a privilege. It’s time for our grads to take the next few steps… maybe even like the left shark… dancing to a crazy beat all their own.

Respectfully…

AR

selective mercy

photo-1428604467652-115d9d71a7f1I’m toying today with a potentially fascinating observation. Allow me to first distinguish between two oft confused virtues: grace and mercy.

Grace means unmerited favor — being given something extra or special that was not earned nor deserved. It is the receiving of something good.

Mercy equates to unwarranted forgiveness — being spared the consequences or judgment that coincide with a particular act or behavior. It is the sparing of something bad.

One is a receiving. One is a sparing.

We seem selective in who we choose to spare… to whom we offer mercy… to whom we quickly forgive the consequences that logically coincide with one’s behavior. For some we quickly, perhaps casually dismiss the appropriate judgment that comes with less than virtuous actions. For others we proclaim, “Nope… no way… never going to happen; they don’t deserve any mercy.” In other words, “Let ‘em have what they deserve!”

Why are we so selective?

What is within us that causes us to be dismissive of some but callous toward others?

Why are we tolerant of immorality, infidelity, deceit, deception, dishonesty, crime, corruption, mistruth, misconduct, bias or bigotry depending on who it comes from?

Why does it not affect our loyalty, attention, or vote — be the one in question an athlete, celebrity, politician, etc.?

I speak not of rendering an actual, physical consequence; we are not the purveyors of any legal judgment. We are, however, the beholders of internal judgment — the discernment that affects our like/dislike, loyalty, gauge of appropriateness, and whether we will wholeheartedly support a person going forward. For some reason, we seem to dismiss the poor behavior and choices we’ve witnessed by some, thus applying selective mercy. Why?

Pick an arena: sports, celebrity, politics. Why are we inconsistent in our mercy giving?

Some of those in question are still playing; some are starring at the box office; some remain running for President. And those some, we are still cheering on, still paying to see their movies, and still intending to vote for.

Let me not act as if mercy should not be offered. I don’t claim to have the divine discernment that knows when it’s wise and when it’s not. I also believe mercy offered can turn around a sinful life. I simply wonder how and why we are so inconsistent… why we turn a blind eye… and what biases we hold (even when we claim to be unbiased).

I will include myself in that assessment of inconsistency. I will also include myself in the need at times for mercy.

I’m wondering if the key is how the person reacts when they have been spared the negative consequences and judgment. Are they humbled? … gracious? Do they acknowledge the wrongdoing and express regret and a desire to change their behavior? Or do they continue in a pattern of deceit, deception, dishonesty, etc.? Do they see mercy as a well-played strategy — fooling the rest of us once more?

As previously stated, this is a potentially fascinating observation.

Respectfully…

AR

note to the graduate

unsplash_525d7892901ff_1I’ve thought about this post many times. I’ve known what I wish to convey, but I’m still not certain exactly how to say it. It’s too big… too important… too significant a moment. (It’s so significant I may at least pen a second post!) It’s one of those precious moments in life that you want to embrace, hold so tight, and never let go; you are keenly aware that it will never come again.

My oldest son, Jake, finished high school last week. In a few days, he will don the cap and gown with his 350 some classmates and proudly walk with every bit of pomp and circumstance. I want to embrace the significance of that day. There are some things first I wish to say… to Jake… to each of our graduates…

Be thankful… Just getting to this day is an accomplishment. You had to work hard. Not everyday was your best day, but you are still here. Look around. Give thanks.

Be proud… You should be. Remember that pride and arrogance are not the same thing; don’t make that mistake. It’s ok to be proud as long as your pride doesn’t prompt a looking down on other people.

Be humble… Humility is not weakness; it doesn’t mean being downtrodden or stepped on. Humility simply means that you recognize you always have more to learn and don’t have life all figured out. You don’t. Enjoy and embrace it anyway and always.

Trust in the Lord… Commit to God whatever you wish to do, and he will establish your plans. He will direct your steps. Sometimes those steps will be far different than you ever desired. But if you seek him first, he will bless and care for you.

See life’s hardships as an opportunity to grow… I think one of society’s collective, biggest mistakes is that we work so hard to avoid any potentially painful scenario. I get it; pain hurts. But the reality is that the thorns and hardships in my life have taught me invaluable lessons. Embrace those lessons; don’t run from — or numb — reality. Focus more on the sufficiency of God’s grace than on the removal of the painful thorn.

Don’t get too caught up in this world… Don’t allow this world to determine what is good and true and right. Don’t allow human standards to determine morality. People are imperfect. Look for something better and more. Look for what lasts.

Don’t be dismayed… Precisely because people are imperfect, it’s easy to get disillusioned. Friends, someday, sometime, someone you love will hurt and disappoint you. It’s not because you misjudged them or they’re not who they say they are. Remember: we, too, are imperfect; we, too, will hurt others. Love through it. Learn that perseverance and forgiveness are vital to wisdom.

Remember your roots… While you are about to jet off and accomplish new, great things, never forget from where you came. Your history will be something God uses to promote the humility and thankfulness that will serve you well your entire life.

Love other people well… People who love God know the best way to reflect him is to love who he created. That means loving in sickness and health and for better or worse. That means loving when it isn’t easy or convenient. That means not taking wrongs so personally but loving boldly enough to help steer others away from those wrongs. Keep no record of any offense. Simply love others well. Always.

Give others — and yourself — generous grace… The withholding of grace will only hurt the beholder. Be generous. This is a key to wisdom. We will each make mistakes. We might make several still today. So give yourself grace. Laugh. Grace gives us space to grow.

Be confident… And from here you now go. Whatever’s next. It looks different for each of you, and that’s ok. Be of good courage. Know you can do this.

As a parent, I know I haven’t always conveyed everything as well as I’ve wanted to my sons. I’ve made many errors. I also had never done this parenting thing before. So let me say three more things before another round of “Pomp and Circumstance” begins to play… We love you. We believe in you. And we’re so excited for what’s next!

Blessings… to the Class of 2015. We are proud of you.

Respectfully… indeed…

AR

(Note:  grad post #2 coming soon…)

the silencing

powersI will never toe a partisan line. I will not be sucked in to purely partisan thinking — lured in by potential political opportunists, attempting to seduce us into adopting solely their point of view.

One person I believe to be excellent at not being lured is Kirsten Powers, a lifelong liberal, who became a Christian in recent years, who serves as a contributor to USA Today, FOX News, and The Daily Beast. Her new book, “The Silencing,” hit bookstands last week. Allow me to provide a brief excerpt. Perhaps you’ll see why I respect her so. Remember, she is a part of the left of which she writes… [Note: the emphasis will be mine.]

“The illiberal left isn’t just ruining reputations and lives with their campaigns of delegitimization and disparagement. They are harming all of society by silencing important debates, denying people the right to draw their own conclusions, and derailing reporting and research that is important to our understanding of the world. They are robbing culture of the diversity of thought that is so central to learning and discovery.

It’s sadly ironic that so many of the illiberal left view themselves as rational, intellectual, fact-based thinkers and yet have fully embraced a dogmatic form of un-enlightenment. Deviating from lefty ideology is equated to heresy and academic inquiry is too often secondary to ideological agendas. The illiberal left insert ideologically driven statistics into the media and academic bloodstream and then accuse anyone who questions them of diabolical motives. When researchers make discoveries supporting the wrong ideological conclusion, the character assassination and intimidation begin.

In a 2011 speech, then-University of Virginia social psychologist Jonathan Haidt, who describes himself politically as a ‘liberal turned centrist,’ explained, ‘If a group circles around sacred values, they’ll evolve into a tribal-moral community. They’ll embrace science whenever it supports their sacred values, but they’ll ditch it or distort it as soon as it threatens a sacred value.’

The illiberal left likes to accuse conservatives and religious people of doing this, but ignores the central role it plays in their own determination to reinforce their ideological beliefs. Haidt pointed to Daniel Patrick Moynihan, who was labeled a racist for a 1965 report he produced as assistant secretary of Labor in the Kennedy administration. The report rang alarm bells about the rise of unmarried parenthood among African Americans, and called for government policies to address the issue. ‘Open-minded inquiry into the problems of the Black family was shut down for decades, precisely the decades in which it was most urgently needed,’ Haidt said. ‘Only in the last few years have sociologists begun to acknowledge that Moynihan was right all along. Sacralizing distorts thinking. Sacred values bind teams together, and then blind them to the truth. That’s fine if you are a religious community… but this is not fine for scientists.’

Haidt believes that the fact that conservatives are underrepresented by ‘a ratio of two or three hundred to one’ in social psychology ‘is evidence that we are a tribal moral community that actively discourages conservatives from entering.’ Allowing for more diversity of ideological thought would lead to ‘better science and freer thinking,’ concluded Haidt. This argument doesn’t just apply to academia. It applies to any facet of society where non-liberal views are deemed out of bounds.

When people are afraid to express their opinions because they’ve seen other people treated as deviants deserving of public shaming or worse, they will be less likely to speak freely. This already happens in newsrooms and academia, where people hide their religious or political views in water cooler conversation for fear of discrimination, or ultimately just opt out of the hostile work environments altogether. ‘We are hurting ourselves when we deprive ourselves of critics, of people who are as committed to science as we are, but who ask different questions, and make different background assumptions,’ Haidt noted.

In preparing for his speech, Haidt searched for conservative social psychologists to interview, and was only able to find two, both of them graduate students, who came close to fitting the bill. ‘Both of them said they are not conservative, but neither are they liberal, and because they are not liberal, they feel pressure to keep quiet,’ Haidt reported, noting that one of the not-liberal social scientists was in the room as a participant in the conference. Haidt shared an e-mail from one of the heretics: ‘Given what I’ve read of the literature, I am certain any research I conducted in political psychology would provide contrary findings and, thereby, go unpublished. Although I think I could make a substantial contribution to the knowledge base, and would be excited to do so, I will not.’

These stories are commonplace, as is the desire for the academics to remain unnamed. Conservative and orthodox Christian professors have told me chilling stories of intimidation, harassment, discrimination, denial of tenure, and more, but they are not included in this book because all were too fearful to go on the record lest it further alienate them from the members of the illiberal left who hold their academic and professional futures in their hands.

This is not the kind of world we want. Educated people, noted Harvard psychology professor and bestselling author Steven Pinker in extolling the virtues of free speech, ‘should be acutely aware of human fallibility, most notably their own, and appreciate that people who disagree with them are not necessarily stupid or evil. Accordingly, they should appreciate the value of trying to change minds by persuasion rather than intimidation or demagoguery.’

But as this book will demonstrate, the left’s commitment to free speech is collapsing. In its place, the illiberal left is executing a campaign of coercion and intimidation. I call it ‘The Silencing.’ “

Respectfully… with great respect for Kirsten Powers and her poignant message…

AR

questions

600px-Blue_question_mark_(italic).svgOk, ok… it’s true. I have a favorite punctuation mark. In my small world of creative idiosyncrasies — in a world where some may have a fondness for the colon or comma — I believe I have admitted before that I love the question mark. Yep… you heard me. I love the question mark. 🙂

(Save when “idiot” is the last word of the sentence) The question mark is the only punctuation piece that keeps a conversation going. It’s the only mark that invites a response. And it’s the only form of punctuation that shows an obvious interest in hearing and considering the opinions of others — as opposed to engaging in continued self proclamation.

Yesterday I polled the pages of my favorite news sites, observing what headlines also utilized my favorite mark. I found the following, “questionable” headlines:

“Death Penalty: ‘Civilized’ Vengeance or Biblical Contradiction?”

“Will Nonreligious Reshape U.S. Politics?”

“ISIS Slaughter in the Making?”

“Why Do America’s Riots So Precisely Mirror Each Other, Generation After Generation After Generation?”

“Were Asian-American Businesses Targeted in the Baltimore Riots?”

“Did Louis C.K. Go Too Far?”

“Do Churches Fail the Poor?”

“Why Not Martin O’Malley?”

“Shouldn’t We Expect that Our Intelligence Professionals Tell the Truth and Be Straight with the American People?”

“Why Did Clinton ‘Enforcer’ George Stephanopoulos Get the Job In The First Place?”

“Who Killed Who?”

“Should U.S. Topple Secular Dictators?”

“Do Clippers Need Big Changes?”

“Chicago Cubs’ Win Streak Snapped?”

In each of the above editorials, an opinion is exerted but begins with a question. The opinion is thus prefaced by a means that invites other people into the conversation. Notice some of the tougher subjects addressed above — including but not limited to terrorism, child abuse, the death penalty, politics, race, religion, and the fate of the Chicago Cubs (sorry, Dad). The question allows for the foray into sensitive subject areas — subjects often challenging for people to respectfully discuss.

Notice, too, how the practice is seemingly contrary to the social sites of Facebook and Twitter. On those two sites especially, persons often express opinion via rants, raves, tweets, and fervid imperatives; the rant may be contained in a single sentence or two. Yes, we are passionate people; we have many opinions and often desire to express them. But observe how often Facebook and Twitter omit my favorite form of punctuation. Observe, also, how productive, constructive, solution-oriented dialogue seems so rare in social media.

Just a bit of an idiosyncrasy… I love the question mark… for many reasons. Isn’t it grand?

Respectfully…

AR