Daily Life – Page 17 – intramuralist ™

05/11/201405/11/2014

more to learn

Head to head. Face to face.

The unmistakable reality is that only one person could win. Sure, there is second place — sometimes even third, maybe fourth — but a single soul is declared the victor. There’s only one gold medal, so-to-speak. The race was on.

The field was fascinating… diverse… and clearly, uniquely gifted. This was their moment in time. Some candidates were quite loquacious; others were more silent in their approach. Some had much to share, while still others kept to the seemingly simple talking points. Some, too, seemed serious or determined, no doubt resolute in their prized ambition; they would allow nothing to distract them from their cause. Others were obviously more “go-with-the-flow,” even though such wasn’t necessarily an articulated, admired status.

When the race began, it was profound…

Some began with a bang — others with more of a whimper.

Some egged the crowd on — others found the crowd too stimulating. One endeared competitor sorrowfully had to leave the arena.

There was another young man who had a physical altercation with another. I was touched by the woman and child who deliberately paused to pick him up.

As each finished the so-called fight, the entire crowd cheered.

In fact, the entire crowd cheered for every competitor.

No matter the pace — no matter the candidate — no matter how they ran or how they played the game — each entrant was celebrated for who he was and what place they came in… even if said placement was something other than number one.

No competitor was viewed as adversarial. The idea of being “evil” or an “enemy” simply because one was the identified opponent was obviously furthest from every mind. Each competitor was celebrated. Each hand was either shaken or high-fived. Losing did not equate to anything lesser.

I remain struck, my friends, by the consistent lack of civility within the competitive process… whether that be a politician vying for position… a parent cheering on only their child, thinking he or she must make the team… or one of us advocating for one person or party only and always.

We could learn a lot from the competition the Intramuralist witnessed yesterday, as there’s nothing quite like the Special Olympics. As first introduced by Eunice Kennedy Shriver at the inaugural 1968 Special Olympics international games, each athlete vows the following:

“Let me win. But if I cannot win, let me be brave in the attempt.”

Every politician, parent, and pundit should vow the same regardless of the game they play. Every athlete, candidate, and competitor should be celebrated. And opponents should not be viewed as evil or adversarial.

Yes, we have much to learn from the special, Special Olympic athletes. Perhaps we have more to learn from them than they actually do from us.

Respectfully,

04/22/201404/22/2014

one of the zillion things…

I was struck by a conversation I had with my youngest son the other night. Sadly, young Joshua had a classmate pass away a few somber weeks ago. Liam was a year older, only 13. I can’t imagine. It makes me think of that song where the young gal soberly sings, “To think that providence would take a child from his mother while she prays… is appalling.” It makes little sense… so hard to understand. This week Josh and I were speaking of where Liam may be now and what life might be like. The reality is — with each of our budding adolescents — that we can’t always control the questions that come. That’s a good thing…

I shared with Josh that I was fairly certain Liam was now free from his once ever-present wheelchair. Josh’s face lit up — thinking of his friend now running so wistfully and free. Josh beamed, and we laughed and smiled and thought of all Liam could do now that previously confined him on this planet. Those special needs kids are special people. Thinking I was on a celebratory roll, I said to Josh, “Just think… when you get to heaven, you won’t have Down syndrome any more!”

Josh’s joy immediately changed to a subtle scowl.

Realizing I may have been somewhat ambiguous in my parental encouragement, I attempted to re-address the situation and the ceasing of Josh’s joy. After all, at 12 years old, Josh is aware he has Down’s (just like he’s right-handed and has blonde hair) but it has never seemed significant to him (just like being right-handed and having blonde hair).

“You don’t care that you have Down syndrome, do you?” I humbly but directly asked.

No response. My affirming attempts were failing fast…

“Josh, I’ve never seen you care about having Down syndrome. Do you care?”

At that point, my delightful young son looked me straight in the eye and said loudly, “I do care!”

I was a little surprised. It has never seemed to bother him before. There are approximately 400,000 Americans with Down syndrome, and Josh has always embraced this delightful community. But before I could quickly offer any seemingly intelligent articulation behind my thoughts, my wise young son spoke again, “I do care. I like it! I like the way God made me.”

Once again this young man who has taught me more than any encyclopedia or advanced college class ever could, put life in perspective…

So many of us when experiencing perceived misfortune, focus on that perception; we focus on the misfortune — on the negative — on how we are different in ways that appear to many to be bad. We begin to think of ourselves as “victims,” focusing on what we don’t have as opposed to what we do. We then may become quickly paralyzed in that mindset, allowing our victim status to prompt additional unhealthy responses, such as bitterness, judgment, or feelings of entitlement.

One of the zillion things I appreciate about Josh is how he doesn’t see his disability as a negative. He has never allowed what the world views as misfortune to negate the joy nor purpose of his life. I’d like to tell you that such is also the result of incredible, humble, parental encouragement.

Well, maybe… maybe a little… It’s actually the way God made him.

Respectfully…

04/15/2014

blurred lines

Here’s a cross selection of what we actually said on Facebook last week. Sometimes our conversation is fairly fascinating…

You don’t have to worry about tomorrow. God is already there.

Beans and rice week. Trying to make a difference.

Not sure a “swimming pool” in the back of the truck was the best idea today, but apparently it was a necessary addition to their driveway hotel.

Raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are the main reason I have trust issues.

Sometimes out of the blue I am overwhelmed by sadness missing my dad.

Is it still considered planning when you lay in the sun and think about all you plan on doing?

Never debate a sensitive matter rationally with one who’s capability to engage on the particular subject is clearly only emotional.

Imposing term limits will not solve all of our problems, but it is a HUGE step in the right direction.

BRUUUUUUCE Springsteen baby!!!!!

Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Less than 20 minutes into the Cubs game, and it’s over. See you in 2015.

All three spilled their entire lunch plates on the floor today. Statistically, how is this even possible?

Stupid stomach bug.

Stupid rain.

Stupid girl scout cookies!!

Dear Facebook, just because I might have a friend in common with someone does not mean I know them.

This is the third g string I’ve been through in a week, frustrating. (That’s a guitar string for any of you concerned spectators with your mind in the gutter.)

Usually I meet the neighbors because they have puppies….today I met a new neighbor because he ran over my mailbox while I was in my driveway.

No, baby, you may not keep the baby bunnies living in my lavender bushes…

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.

All I need right now is a hug… and five thousand dollars in cash.

If more sane people were armed, the crazy people would get off fewer shots.

If you run on a political platform that boast a moral high ground, yet your actions run contrary to your words and promises, it is time to quit and find yourself a job where hypocrisy is one of your main occupational requirements.

I just received the news that my son, a minor with a disability, will be paying 16% tax this year to the state and federal government on money held in a special needs trust.

Don’t miss all the beautiful colors of the rainbow looking for the pot of gold.

Prom 2014.

Both parties have a lot to squirm about and I am having a hard time enjoying it as much as I used to.

Sorry, but your password must contain an uppercase letter, a number, a haiku, a gang sign, a hieroglyph, and the blood of a virgin.

Phony scandal, right?

And…

Chocolate comes from cocoa which comes out of a tree. That makes it a plant. Therefore, chocolate counts as salad. The end.

Yes, the end.

Respectfully…

04/10/201404/10/2014

another’s words

I was in a meeting when the call came. I recognized the number immediately. I excused myself, found a quiet room, and then answered the principal’s call. One of my sons had behaved inappropriately at school; a brief suspension would be his consequence.

Now prior to arriving at the main point of today’s post — which has little to do with adolescents acting out — let me add a few relevant caveats. One, the improper behavior is atypical of my son. And two, the behavior would be improper by any who engaged in it.

When the call critical of my child came, I had to choose how to respond. Do I ignore? … deny? … attack back?

Let’s face it; the news was negative. My son needed to be disciplined. No one enjoys hearing unfavorable words about their own flesh and blood — about someone or something so near and dear to their heart — about something of which we are deeply passionate. It’s possible that I could have disagreed with either the assessment of behavior or the apt consequences. It’s then equally possible that I would have allowed myself to entertain the idea that perhaps someone else motivated my son’s poor choice — that someone else may thus bear the blame.

Such has caused me to wonder how as adults we handle similar situations…

Someone shares negative news or opinion about something near and dear to our adult hearts… about a person, policy, or passion. And instead of prudently weighing the wisdom within the words and considering the opinion — wisely discerning any truth within the perspective shared — we often ignore, deny, or (seemingly typically) attack back.

Someone calls us a name, so we call them something else. Someone hurts us, so we justify hurting them back. Someone disagrees with us, so we pressure them into silence. Someone wrongs us, so we work for their firing. Someone shares a perspective critical of what we believe in, and so instead of weighing the wisdom within the words, we only hear criticism. We thus justify attacking back. Granted, we use bigger words than on the middle school playground. I am, however, again reminded that intelligence and wisdom are not synonymous. The adult who fights back first is no wiser no matter his or her utilized syllable count.

When I responded to the school administration, my first response was to thank them for calling. As much as I may not like what they had to say, I want to know what they believe and why. I want them to transparently share their perspective. I then affirmed their perspective. They were there; I was not. Their perspective is valid. And third, I acknowledged that we’re on the same team — we all want the same thing — which is for my son to mature wisely and thus curb any negative behavior. I shared that I would reinforce the consequences at home.

Friends, my sense is that sometimes we become more focused on the consequences than on curbing the behavior. We spend so much time and energy fighting for our passions, that we rarely weigh the validity within a perspective that seems critical of our passions.

Thank God for those who care enough about our children to invest in them — investing in them via education, encouragement, challenge, and discipline. Yes, it is only a loving adult who disciplines the child, even though no discipline seems pleasant at the time. We thus should always weigh the wisdom in another’s words.

Respectfully…

04/02/201404/03/2014

squelching opinion

Together we are a collective bunch of “pro’s” and “anti’s.” Some of us are pro-abortion; some of us are anti-abortion. Some of us are pro-gay marriage; some of us are anti-gay marriage. Some of us are pro-yada-yada-yada; still others are anti-yada-yada-yada. The bottom line is that there are good people who disagree on challenging issues.

The Intramuralist is comfortable with our differing. It’s not my job nor your job nor anyone’s job — nor even anyone’s capability — to be the convictor of truth. No one, my friends, is capable of usurping such a sacred role. What disturbs me, however, is when one works not to “win the argument,” so-to-speak, on the merits of the opinion itself, but instead works tirelessly to squelch opposing opinion. Allow me to borrow from Tuesday’s editorial in USA Today, written by Jonah Goldberg, member of USA Today’s Board of Contributors. Let’s discuss the yada yada yada… [Note that the emphasis will be mine.]

“… A writer for the website Gawker recently penned a self-described ‘rant’ on the pressing need to arrest, charge and imprison people who ‘deny’ global warming. In fairness, Adam Weinstein doesn’t want mass arrests (besides, in a country where only 44% of Americans say there is ‘solid evidence’ of global warming and it’s mostly due to human activity, you can’t round up every dissenter)… Weinstein suggests the government simply try the troublemakers and spokespeople… ‘Those malcontents must be punished and stopped.’

Weinstein says that this ‘is an argument that’s just being discussed seriously in some circles.’ He credits Rochester Institute of Technology philosophy professor Lawrence Torcello for getting the ball rolling. Last month, Torcello argued that America should follow Italy’s lead. In 2009, six seismologists were convicted of poorly communicating the risks of a major earthquake. When one struck, the scientists were sentenced to six years in jail for downplaying the risks. Torcello and Weinstein want a similar approach for climate change…

The truth is this isn’t as new an outlook as Weinstein suggests. For instance, in 2009, New York Times columnist Paul Krugman insisted that ‘deniers’ in Congress who opposed the Waxman-Markey climate change bill were committing ‘treason’ while explaining their opposition on the House floor.

‘The fact is that the planet is changing faster than even pessimists expected,’ Krugman insisted. How fast the earth is changing is open to all kinds of debate, but short of an asteroid strike it won’t change as fast as the global warming pessimists have claimed. For example, in 2008, Al Gore predicted that the North Pole Ice Cap would be ice free by 2013. Arctic ice, which never came close to disappearing, has actually been making a bit of comeback lately.

Gore’s prediction — echoed by then Sen. John Kerry and countless others — was always ridiculous hyperbole. But even most serious, non-hyperbolic, computer-modeled predictions have overestimated the amount of warming we’ve experienced. The United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change has had to retract several histrionic predictions, such as its erroneous prophecy that the Himalayan glaciers would be gone by 2035.

Its new report, out on Monday, contains a new raft of dire prophecies requiring trillions in new spending. If I greet it with skepticism, shall I pack a tooth brush for my trip to jail?

Climate change activists insist that in science, revisions are routine, and that such corrections prove the good faith of scientists. Even if that’s true, one might still note that incentives are unhealthily arranged so that even well-intentioned researchers are encouraged to exaggerate the dangers of climate change and discouraged to criticize hyperbole. Moreover, were it not for the skeptics and deniers, many such corrections would never have been brought to light…

The real problem is that political activists and many leading institutions, particularly in the news media and academia, are determined to demonize any kind of skepticism — about the extent of the threat or the efficacy of proposed solutions — as illegitimate idiocy…”

The point is not the proposed validity of global warming. The point is that it’s foolish to squelch opinion — whatever the yada yada yada.

Respectfully,

04/01/201404/01/2014

important

So as I sat in silence, prepared to pen today’s post, I ran through my mental list of what’s most important and what I desire to discuss today.

I contemplated writing about health care…

Sorry. I know this is an issue to which the Intramuralist frequently refers; my sense is simply that it’s a glaring example of partisan politics, in which transparency is scarce, economics and ethics are compromised, and neither advocates nor opposition are respectful of contrary opinion. Today is supposed to be the first day in which annual enrollment is complete, and mandates and fines are imposed. Talking with several of you across the country, I also hear your irritation in regard to how this has been implemented and executed. We could discuss this today, but my perception is that it isn’t what’s most important.

We could speak of Russia’s armed aggression…

Two weeks ago, they voted to annex the Crimea region of Ukraine after the people in the area supported a public referendum. (I wonder… if Minnesotans voted to be part of Canada, would we so easily support letting them go? But lest I digress…) I cautiously watch Russian Pres. Putin as he strongly and swiftly alters the Ukrainian border. I watch, too, how his military amassing seems unthwarted and his ambition unmoved no matter the words of Western leaders. And then I see Pres. Obama on ESPN.

I contemplated writing about Obama on ESPN…

I have mixed emotions on this, friends. The Intramuralist is no fan of being a critic for critical sakes. I expect our nations’ leaders to have interests outside of foreign policy. But there’s something about Pres. Obama’s frequent flirtation with pop culture that makes me uncomfortable.

On ESPN, the President did his annual analysis of his NCAA college basketball picks. We all do that. (Ok, most… sorry, Mom…) But the point is that the kind of analysis the President presented takes significant time. It takes focus. It takes energy and concentration to know that the Spartans of Michigan State were in position to make a long run in the tourney, due to their preseason ranking, early season injuries, and late season prowess. That takes time — more than the 2 hours interviewed by the original Entertainment and Sports Programming Network. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, I want the leaders of our country, regardless of party, to spend their time on what’s most important. Right now, our foreign policy and relations are vital. Pop culture is not. Is it right? Is it wrong? I can’t definitively answer those questions. I simply suggest it makes me uncomfortable.

And so as I was seeking to focus today’s blog on what is most important, I had to chuckle. Down at the bottom of my page, as I prepared to type, was the following:

“josh is a awsome son”

So my 12 year old, special, special needs son doesn’t consistently hit the “shift” key. His spelling isn’t always correct, and sometimes he talks differently that you and me. There are a lot of things he can’t do. But what am I focused on? On what he can’t do — or what he can? Only one of those responses prompts gratitude in me this day. So I stopped writing, went to his room, and teased Josh about his semi-humble, self-assessment. He immediately matched my chuckle with his own contagious glee, and then joyfully said, “Mom, I want you to write about me today.”

Once again, when I look at life through eyes other than my own, I see what’s most important.

Respectfully,

03/11/2014

life is short

We’ve heard it lots: life is short. I suppose the idea that “life is short” is somewhat relative; however, what I do know is that life doesn’t last forever. For everything there is a season… a time to be born, a time to die…

It’s hard to shake what’s happened to Malaysia Airlines flight MH370. It seems to no longer exist… no longer on anyone’s radar screen.

There were 239 people on board…

Citizens of America, Australia, Austria, Canada, China, France, India, Indonesia, Italy, Malaysia, Netherlands, New Zealand, Russia, Taiwan, and Ukraine… 2 infants… the oldest, age 79, I believe.

Vanished.

Gone.

In an instant.

What would their loved ones want to say to them now? Better still, for those on that presumably tragic trajectory, what would they have said or done differently? … what would they have done had they known such would be their last hour?

Would they have made a final phone call? … expressing their love, respect, adoration, or forgiveness?

Would they have said a prayer? … acknowledging One bigger, better, and more powerful and knowing than self?

Would they have spent intentional time in reflection? … focusing on what they have in common with others? … or would they still somehow have dwelt on differences that they once allowed to divide?

The question is: what would have been most important?

What if it was us? … what would we think? … what would we do? … what would we hope for and believe in if we truly realized life was short?

This is hard question, friends; it affects each and every one of us. I sometimes think we live so much in the moment that we’re oblivious to life’s shortness. In our world of instant gratification and lack of over-flowing gratitude — in our world that so often embraces dissension over unity in the name of personal passion — in a world where each of us have blatant blind spots — each of us — I feel like we’re missing something. We’re missing the reality of the limitation of life; we don’t typically live with the end in mind.

As a friend’s elementary school daughter penned for a school project last week, “What if you woke up today with only the things that you thanked God for yesterday?”

Wow… through the minds of babes… that would certainly change what we said and did; would it not? It would certainly amend our focus.

There was 1 American adult, Philip Wood, on board the fateful flight of Malaysia Airlines Saturday. In the immediate aftermath, his mother’s words were as follows: “I know in my heart that Philip’s with God. Only people who know God can survive things like this.”

And from his brother: “I just wanted to say to all the other families that are around the world: we’re hurting; we know you’re hurting just as much, and we’re praying for you.”

I see a recognition of God… a submission to him… and an awareness of other people and what we have in common…

Life is short.

Respectfully,

02/20/201402/20/2014

winner doesn’t take it all

There’s something about the Olympics that just sucks us in. Ok, summer more than winter — and maybe not all of us — but there’s something about the competition, fanfare, backstories, and patriotism that totally captures our attention. Granted, I could use a little more sleep this week and last, but for the most part, this semi-competitive current events observer is loving these games. I did, however, recently find myself reverting back to a less mature pattern. Allow me to humbly explain…

Years ago, I was challenged by Dr. Tim Kimmel’s book, Raising Kids for True Greatness. I found it revolutionary. I recommend it genuinely and generously.

The book challenges us to cede our individual pursuits of success. We each want the best for ourselves and our children; there’s nothing wrong with that. But what if there was something more? What if there was something better? Could our definition of success be omitting the most important part?

Kimmel asks about greatness. Where does it fit in? “If you aim your children at anything less than greatness,” says the author, ”you’ll set them up to miss the whole point of their lives.”

Greatness isn’t defined in terms of wealth, prosperity, or even an SAT score. Greatness is a measure of character — a purposeful maximizing of our potential — where the commitment to virtue is never in question. I think first of the quiet uniqueness of Mother Teresa, who undoubtedly discerned the value of true greatness. When greatness is prioritized, we recognize that our worth comes from something far more than materialistic success. The opportunities are thus endless.

When this pursuit of greatness then replaces our societally-encouraged success barometers, we are freed to root for those other than our own. We no longer envision the success of another as something less for “me.” There is no “you vs. me” or “us against them,” as there exists none of this pitting against other people. We each are blessed and gifted in different ways.

So during the Olympic hockey game, when the Americans faced the Russians 24 years after the original “Miracle on Ice,” I cheered with my young son nearby. We grinned and grimaced through each shot of the shootout. And when the United States finally won the non-medal-meriting, intense arctic match, I almost jumped off my couch… yes!

But I realized that I was again seduced into cheering solely for my team — and thinking lesser of the other team. Yes, of course we have favorites, but I think we also root against certain others and demonize them to some degree primarily because they are our opponent; they stand in our way. We see this in sports, politics, life in general. And so we often make the other out to be bad or something lesser somehow, when in reality, they, too, are attempting to maximize their potential and embrace their gifts.

As the pomp and circumstance concluded the weekend hockey competition, I decided to take the opportunity to teach my youngest a few added nuggets of wisdom, so I thought. Thinking of the days of both “Rocky” and Reagan, I said, “You know, Josh, years ago, Russia was considered a ‘bad guy.‘ Lots of people thought they wanted to blow us up.”

Josh in his greater wisdom, deliberately paused and then meekly shared, “Mom, I don’t need to know all things. Seriously.”

He’s right. While we can be proud of our team and celebrate their on field/ice success, we have to remember that there exists something greater. There’s no need to demonize our opponents. They, too, are working to purposefully maximize their potential. And they have been blessed differently than you and me.

Respectfully,

01/30/201401/30/2014

funny, God

What if God has a sense of humor?

Well, I can’t say anything for certain, and yes, I realize it’s not very scriptural or academic — maybe not even all that mature — but what if God has a sense of humor? I kind of like thinking of the whole big God of the universe like that…

What if somewhere — wherever somewhere is — he’s watching us, witnessing our successes and failures, subtly and sometimes not so subtly cheering us on… always rooting for us? … always in our corner? He’d be in everybody’s corner!

What if, too, as he observes — desiring for us to fully learn and grow and actually become mature — what if he also takes note of those areas in each of our lives where we don’t rely on him, acknowledge him, or give him any credit? … and so he masterfully and creatively allows for circumstances to exist, giving us added opportunity to rely, acknowledge, and give credit? … giving credit to where it is due, dare I suggest?

Friends, I must first admit that there are many areas that I don’t fully rely, acknowledge, nor credit the God of the universe. Too often I take too much credit. If I were to go back in time, for instance, remembering one of my all-time favorite moments, I would share that when I won the Purdue University intramural racquetball championship, my first thought had far more to do with how good and talented I was — than acknowledging the One who made me good and talented. We like to think we’re so good, smart, and talented, and that thinking often obstructs the opportunity to know and rely on God.

So what if he has a sense of humor? And what if he uses that to teach us?

What if?

Again Tuesday night, the climate change debate arose. Actually, let me change that. There was no debate. In fact, the President’s exact words were: “The debate is settled. Climate change is a fact.”

I get that lots of scientists believe man is responsible for a perceived trend that the Earth is warming. I get that many members of the Democrat Party wholeheartedly also believe the trend (note: not all; Sen. Joe Manchin [D-WVa] did not join in with his likeminded peers’ prompted applause). I also get that a lot of people believe the trend solely because the Democrats sans Manchin & co. declare it as truth. I get, too, that still more refuse to believe it solely because of those who declare it as truth.

Let me again share: I don’t know if global warming/climate change/next-most-convenient term is true or not. I don’t know. I’m not a rocket scientist. And last I heard, Pres. Obama was not one either. My point, though, today speaks not to the arguable hubris of declaring the debate over, but rather: where is God in the discussion? Where is the reliance, acknowledgement, and credit to the God of the universe? If we are having a conversation about the planet’s possible warming, shouldn’t we submit ourselves to the One who actually created the planet? … the One who obviously would know far more than the rest of us? Friends, I have said this repeatedly. No conversation about whether the world is warming or not can be had without God as part of the discussion. What do the ancient scriptures say? … about the Earth? … about our need to care for the Earth? … and about any future end?

For those who believe solidly in climate change (and may actually be rocket scientists), they contend the Earth has warmed approximately 1.53°F in the last 130 years; they don’t have tons of data prior to 1880. Yet here with the Earth warming, the United States has experienced an unprecedented, freezing cold winter; it’s snowing in New Orleans!

Doesn’t God have a sense of humor?!

I mean no disrespect. I don’t know if climate change is real. What I do believe is that God masterfully and creatively allows for circumstances to exist, giving us added opportunity to rely, acknowledge, and give credit to him. When we omit him from the debate, maybe he gets our attention by allowing snow in New Orleans.

Just maybe.

Respectfully,

01/23/2014

do you care?

My current sense is this will not be a very popular post. Sorry. It’s never my intent to alarm or offend; it is, however, my desire to handle all topics honestly — regardless of controversy — and to handle them well.

I’ve been watching. (Surprise, surprise.) We learn much from watching; we learn more from listening and observing than from hearing our own selves speak. But I’ve recently been watching and have thus concluded that we are a society of “selective carers.” Many will push back on that — perhaps the most compassionate among us — but even the most compassionate have that place in their rear view mirror that serves as a significant blind spot. Each of us is a “selective carer.”

We don’t truly care about all things… we don’t truly care about all people.

Yes, I hear the rants and raves. I hear the noble, contradictory proclamations. And truthfully, it’s probably more an issue of empathy than of caring. We don’t empathize truly well until the experience directly affects us…

We don’t care about the sick… until someone we know is sick.

We don’t care about the poor… unless someone we know is poor.

We don’t care about HIV/AIDS research… until someone we know tests positive for HIV.

We don’t care about gun control… until someone we know is shot and killed.

We don’t care about unemployment… until someone we know loses their job.

After the rousing “right on’s” from those of us immediate to empathize, let’s continue…

We don’t care about extracting money from the wealthy… unless someone we know is wealthy.

We don’t care about Obamacare causing many to lose their insurance… until someone we know has lost theirs and must now pay more.

We don’t care about entitlement abuse… unless we know someone who is receiving unemployment benefits but making no effort to look for a job.

In other words, we selectively care. We typically only best care for “one side of an equation.” Pick your issue. Pick your person. Even to the most compassionate among us: do we only care about who or what we’ve determined to be the biggest victim or injustice?

Let’s try further examples… do we care so much about pro-life, that we forget about the young woman actually wrestling with the decision? … do we care so much about the woman, that we forget about the babe inside of her? Do we care so much about LGBT activism, that we forget about the good people who sincerely believe it’s immoral? … do we care so much about the lifestyle being immoral, that we forget about the good people in that community? What about race? … do we care so much about one race, we forget about another?

Do we remember only the poor but not the wealthy? … only the sick and not the healthy? Do we… selectively care?

Friends, I am not saying that we cannot be passionate about one issue or side. I am simply stating that sometimes in our passion we glaringly omit empathy for another. We quit caring about other sides and situations that affect us less. We are more numb to the news.

On Tuesday of this past week, a 23 year old gunman shot and killed his fellow teaching assistant on the campus of Purdue University in West Lafayette, Indiana. Purdue is my respected and beloved alma mater… a place with people I know. While I have always been sobered by the acts of violence at every institution, this one hurt a little more. I pray for all those affected… for the students, for the family of the 21 year old who died… and for the man who pulled the trigger and for his family. I pray for wisdom for each of them… for peace to those whose lives were seemingly shattered… for repentance for the gunman… for justice and mercy… and for wisdom for all to know what is good and right and true.

I care.

Respectfully,